how to feel comfortable around opposite gender

[sabnakeerenka]

i feel its impractical for me, if a sant does something i dont really care i look to gurbani to guide me. Bani says to control your 5 chor with simran and talk to women as your sisters. Would i look my sister in the eye when i talk to her? yes so this denotes i should do the same.

In fact what Harnam singh is actually doing is avoiding a situation where he has kaam but what happens if he comes across a women and meets her eye, this is not controlling but avoidance. Sikhs are meant to partake in the world not hide away

I find it is impractical for me too, but that doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

As a girl though, I don't go out of my way to talk to Singhs, and I would expect that most Singhs wouldn't go out of their way to talk to their 'sisters'. This is what is meant by Bhai Harnam Singh, if contact isn't necessary, it the chitchat is trivial, then why bother with it?

There's also two ways of looking at the avoidance issue. Firstly, you can confront the 5 chor and fight them that way, although personally, that wouldn't work for me as more times than not, I would fail that task (e.g. moh is something that is a very big problem for me on a personal level, but I can't really avoid my family lol).

Secondly, you could try avoid them at first, and build up your jeevan until you get to a point where exposure has little to no effect on you.

If Sikhs are meant to partake in the world, why do most Gursikhs discourage watching movies/listening to music? Because it promotes the 5 chor, and thus discouraging that behaviour is pretty much saying 'avoid that which will attract you to dust'. Avoiding eye contact is the same thing, albeit a different approach.

[kullykhalsa]

i wouldnt hugely go out of my way but if i want to chat to a women/man i will do. im not saying the chor dont affect me but i chat trivially wth my sisters so i dont see another girl as different to her. The longer he stays away from women surely the more uncomfortable he will get.

the world is never that black and white, i watch tons of films and have a varied music playlist!

i believe its just two sides of the same coin whichever works best for o.p

[chatanga]

The harmoniums with the sticker 'BINA' use to make me giggle; I use to wonder whether it was like 'Tere Bina' or something like that.

it could have been one half of the famous desi kirtani sisters, Bina and Nina.

[singher23]

Just be yourself man. Be confident with who you are. Don't feel that people won't talk to you because you look differently, people don't give a damn. Personality is what matters.