Some Thoughts on My situation

[singher23]

WJKK, WJKF

I debated posting this in Gupt, but then I figured I, what the hell, might as well do it here. Just to preface, neither me nor my father are Amritdhari, although one day I hope to be

My father has never been the most religious man, but has always kept his kesh and gone to gurdwara regularly. However, in the year or so a very large change has happened. He started not always wearing a Pugh when he went out, just a small joori on the back of his head. At first it was only quick trips to the store nearby. Then he started doing it more and more, and now, unless he is going to work or Gurdwara, or someone's house, he almost never wears a Pugh. He also has stopped going to Gurdwara, last time he went was almost 2-3 months ago. I never said anything, because honestly, it's none of my business. My mother, who, on the other hand, is fairly religious, didn't say anything, but I could tell she really did not like this. About 6-7 months back he started trimming his beard. Not close, in fact, you could barely notice it, just enough so he didn't have to tie it (I am not trying to justify trimming ones beard at all). Again, I didn't say anything. 2 months ago, I left to go to college where I currently am. Last week when I went home, he talked about how he had started reading Richard Dawkins and whatnot, and that he had arrived at the conclusion that "All religion was basically B.S". I didn't say anything in response, just left the room.

Today I saw him again. He visited me where I go to college, and again he wasn't wearing a Pugh. But this time, is beard was visibly trimmed closer, now it was obvious. As I ate lunch with him, he brought up the fact that he was thinking of no longer wearing a Pugh at all, and perhaps cutting his hair one day. He asked him what I would think, and of course I told him that I wouldn't like it at all, but obviously he is free to do what he wished. I acted as if it didn't really bother me, but it does. I sit here typing this as tears are falling down my face. I'm not asking about how to convince him not do this, but what he has said really hit me hard. I don't know what the <banned word filter activated> to do, or how to deal with this. What if he actually cuts his hair? I don't think I would talk to him again. I really, really want to go to Gurdwara to think about this but there are none nearby. Any thoughts about how to deal with this would be very much appreciated

[simran345]

Tell him the truth of what you think about the whole situation. Obviously there was a reason for your father asking your views. Its like a kid asking parents if she or he can have sweets and chocs knowing they are not right to eat.

Sometimes our parents need some help in understanding what's right and wrong too. For example i had to stop my mother from making food offerings at what they call sraad, which Sikhs dont believe in. As she been used to do it by habit for ages she found it hard, until i explained why we dont do it.

Some parents are stuck in old way thinking and begin believing what they are being told by somebody else. So if i were you i would make it clear how you feel and that it hurts you.

Good luck

[N30S1NGH]

Whilst everyone has their karam pre-ordained but karams are also intertwined with free will. Sadh sangat is quite important in sikhi if one wants to transcendent spiritually. I understand your father ji go to gurdwara everyday but looking at the current state of gurdwaras and their parchar these days, i think its just not enough, these days there is hardly any depth of gurbani or mysticism being offered in gurdwara, its same old same old stuff so no wonder he start looking at other options or read other philosophers. So partially fault also lies at our parchar but other partial fault lies with your father ji for not looking for depth in sikhi hard enough..!!

I am surprised even though sikhi is highly mystic faith but hardly any main stream sikhs explore it fully within- you have portion stuck in political activism stuff, you have other portion stuck at soldier aspect instead of going through saint aspect in sikhi fully then you have other half stuck in cultish mindset and portions stuck in protestant type sikhi- see sikhi through scientific/christian eyes etc etc etc.

[N30S1NGH]

Sant Harnam Singh Ji Meets Jesus, Mohammed And Bhrighu Rishi

JESUS CHRIST, MOHAMED SAHIB AND BHRIGU

RISHI JI APPEAR IN A VISION

One day Baba Ji was in deep meditation when Jesus Christ,

Mohammed Sahib and Bhrigu Rishi Ji together, appeared before him.

Their faces were radiant and had spiritually bright auras around their

heads. After blessing Baba Ji with this vision Hazrat Mohammed Sahib

Ji spoke, ‘‘You are blessed and truly fortunate to whom Guru Nanak

Dev Ji has shown the direct and easy method to attain enlightenment of

Almighty God especially in this age of kalyug. The followers of the

Great Guru Nanak Dev are not deriving the full benefit of his teachings.”

After this, Bhrigu Rishi Ji spoke, ”In our times, we had to

undergo hard penance and rigorous spiritual austerities in order to achieve

enlightenment. The whole life of a man was spent in meditation and

making offerings to God and even then, union with God was hard to

achieve. The true nectar of naam which great Guru Nanak Dev Ji has

brought for his Sikhs is remarkable; even we could not obtain this boon

of naam. No doubt we amassed great spiritual and miraculous powers

through rigorous meditation and penance, including powers to curse or

bless anyone, but we were still deprived of the nectar of naam.”

Jesus Christ just said simply, ”It is my inner desire that my

followers one day adopt the path shown by great Guru Nanak Dev Ji.”

Saying these words, all three prophets disappeared.

[JasSinghKhalsa]

Sant Harnam Singh Ji Meets Jesus, Mohammed And Bhrighu Rishi

JESUS CHRIST, MOHAMED SAHIB AND BHRIGU

RISHI JI APPEAR IN A VISION

One day Baba Ji was in deep meditation when Jesus Christ,

Mohammed Sahib and Bhrigu Rishi Ji together, appeared before him.

Their faces were radiant and had spiritually bright auras around their

heads. After blessing Baba Ji with this vision Hazrat Mohammed Sahib

Ji spoke, ‘‘You are blessed and truly fortunate to whom Guru Nanak

Dev Ji has shown the direct and easy method to attain enlightenment of

Almighty God especially in this age of kalyug. The followers of the

Great Guru Nanak Dev are not deriving the full benefit of his teachings.”

After this, Bhrigu Rishi Ji spoke, ”In our times, we had to

undergo hard penance and rigorous spiritual austerities in order to achieve

enlightenment. The whole life of a man was spent in meditation and

making offerings to God and even then, union with God was hard to

achieve. The true nectar of naam which great Guru Nanak Dev Ji has

brought for his Sikhs is remarkable; even we could not obtain this boon

of naam. No doubt we amassed great spiritual and miraculous powers

through rigorous meditation and penance, including powers to curse or

bless anyone, but we were still deprived of the nectar of naam.”

Jesus Christ just said simply, ”It is my inner desire that my

followers one day adopt the path shown by great Guru Nanak Dev Ji.”

Saying these words, all three prophets disappeared.

I like learning more about this, Who was Sant Harnaam Jee, and from where you took this Sakhi?

[N30S1NGH]

It's from Se Keheniya - life of sant harnam singh rampur khera wale..!!

[Mehtab Singh]

Several Punjabi parents don't really like to be told anything about religion from their kids. Not all parents are that way so I can't generalize, but you get what I am saying. The good thing is that your dad values and regards your opinion. Don't let him think that he is free to do what he likes, at the same time don't force your opinion on him. He needs to know that it will hurt you and possibly other family members as well.

One way I personally respond to anyone who becomes a fan of these modern day Western writers/authors is questioning the authenticity of those guys, their wisdom, their spirituality etc. These modern Western writers wrote their books in recent/present times and in countries where we are living in a free world, when everyone (especially in the West) is free to write and express his/her thoughts, no matter he/she is an atheist or even a devil worshiper. Gurbani was written at a time and in a place which was ruled by tyrants. The Guru Sahibaan and even the Bhagats uttered those holy words at the visible risk They had to Their lives, which makes it priceless as compared to these modern day Western writers. You can try to convince your father this way and emphasize on how priceless Gurbani and its message is. Anything else he reads, not saying its not needed, not saying its not good, but nothing comes close to Gurbani any day.

Not going to Gurdwara, not regularly wearing a turban, and trimming beard gradually are signs that he is slowly and slowly drifting away from Sikhi. Since you're not home, the bigger responsibility actually lies with your mother or anyone else at home. Please talk to them and have them speak to him about this. Let us know how it goes or any other way we could help. Most importantly, keep doing Ardas.

[Raaj.Karega.Khalsa]

All I can think of is a previous bad karam that is affecting your father to drift away from sikhi.

I would strictly advise against talking to him about it...UNLESS he asks you himself.

The reason being that he is an adult and he obviously has the understanding of what's right and what's wrong. And it might hurt his self-respect, if you explain what's right or wrong. Obviously, it's a different thing if your mother explains.

Do let him know what you think about all of this when he asks you. And try to be very understanding, because when bad karam affects a person, it's only with Guru-Kirpa that one can face it. To get that Guru-Kirpa for him, I suggest you and you mother to do Ardas for him everyday.

Also, if nothing changes, I believe you should still let him experience the kind of life he is choosing. (I do understand it's going to be hard for you and your mother.) If after experiencing this kind of life...he ever comes back to Gursikhi...I believe he'll be able to experience 'vairaag', for Guru Saheb is very compassionate.

[SikhWorldTv]

I like learning more about this, Who was Sant Harnaam Jee, and from where you took this Sakhi?

http://www.globalsikhstudies.net/pdf/Biography%20of%20Sant%20Harnam%20Singh.pdf

[Wingz23]

the fact that you said you are crying whilst writing about the cutting of someones beard... you sound like a Chardi Kala Singh to be a Believer (no disrespect to anyone esle, lol)

Fateh