Need Help

[Guest world peace]

I am really stuck and dont know which way to go or who to ask.

Problem is that nearly all my life I have known that I was different.

I have always felt attracted to people of the same sex. I have only told my sister about me being gay and she just says that I should just make sure that i relly am

I know I am and have had 2 partners in the last few years.

Now the biggie is this......

My mom wants me to see this girl this weekend for marriage and to see if we are compatible.

Problem is that I have already seen half a dozen girls and just rejected them by making some excuse or other.

But this girl is absolutely faultless and nice. My auntie knows her really well and so do some friends.

They are all saying that we would make a nice couple and would be good for each other.

She is not amritdhari yet but all her family is. But I am already amritdhari and very confused.

I do like girls, but not in that way...............I know that I can only touch boys and can only imagine spending my life with a boy as a partner.

I just don't know who to tell and how to tell.

I tried telling my mum in a joking way, but she just took it as a joke thinking that i am just shyiing away from marriage.

I really need help...

please give some reasonable answers and don't criticise me for being a gay amritdhari sikh because nowhere does it say that you can't be gay and amritdhari, because before i had amrit I asked a respected elder if it was ok.

[Guest]

Marry the girl!!!

It's not good to be gay in Sikhi.It is written in bani.I'll find the tuk later.

[luckysingh99 1,203]

OH NO !!! :omg:

That elder that that advised you was ME !!! :stupidme: :stupidme:

I was only JOKING !!!

Seriously (sorry about that, i'm sure you've heard worse)

You need to decide what you really want in life.

This is not about sikhism, it's about your sexuality. But if you really want to spend your life with another sikh man, then you are bringing sikhism into it !!

I honestly can't say how many gay sikh men there are out there that want the same thing.

However I think there is some group of LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual tranvestite) that have sikh or punjabi members, but you will have to find and check into that.

You need to be forward with your family somehow ??

Because, if you don't tell them now and carry on seeing and rejecting girls, then it will make your parents look bad on your behalf.

Then when the world finds out, they will be even more upset and embarassed as well as angry.

Yes, they will most likely be angry because you didn't tell them sooner !

This is what really upsets our punjabi parents !

So tread carefully and think !

[luckysingh99 1,203]

Marry the girl!!!

It's not good to be gay in Sikhi.It is written in bani.I'll find the tuk later.

I was going to say that, but isn't that unfair on the girl or should she be told before hand ''Look, I will marry you, but I might be Gay,so we may never have any physical relationship or kids!!!""????????

[Guest guest]

I haven't had an open deep discussion about approving gay singhs but as far as I do know, you have had 2 partners in the past right. If it is okay for a gay to have a relationahip then why is sikhi against 'normal girl/boyfrind' relationships. The 'LUST' is already there in one way or another. Im not going to take this stand that i am against gays, but i am definately against ANY pre-marital relationships, be it anything: girl&boy, boy&girl, girl&girl, boy& girl or whatever. Lust is lust. kaam is totally forbidden in sikhi. You might say 'no it is true love' but I find not acceptable if straight relationships are also not acceptable. It just doesn't make sense to me. its a bajar kurhet.

really sorry if i sound mean.

[Guest]

Make some kids!!Are you gonna adopt one instead?

[tuhintuhin 671]

talk to your father......make sure you don't take any such step that could ruin the girl's life and yours as well......

[luckysingh99 1,203]

You can't destroy some girls life by marrying her and then having nothing to do with her !

You should may be ask your sister to tell your parents that you 'like batting for the opposition' or that 'your on the other bus!''

In the end they will be glad that you still told them even if they come across as annoyed at first.

Don't be surprised if your dad gives you a huge Thapparh on the head when he first learns.

Being prepared for their reactions may be beneficial for you in the long run.

[Guest world peace]

I think I'm gonna make some excuse for not seeing this girl this weekend.

It's all too distresssin dude....

my sister knows because i told her but i dont think that she is convinced as i havent told anyone about my 2 partners that i had.

I pray and do ardas everyday for a solution to this,but i keep getting more problems and everone is always on about getting me married.

I know that lots of cousins are keen to get me fixed up because they all think that i'm good looking.

If only they really knew about what i really want.

I have thought about just getting married, but then I know that i will still be looking at and for other men or partners.

It just won't be fair on some poor woman.

I am absolutely sure about my sexuality because ive known since I was around 12 years old. Even though I tried to do path so that I may change, but it never happened instead i just got more and more convinced that i'm gay.

[luckysingh99 1,203]

Just out of curiousity, I would like to ask a little question ! :tease:

When you were a child did you used to play with boys toys like 'Action man' figures, racing cars, matchbox cars,'wrestling figures'...etc... OR did you secretly play with your sisters Barbie and sindy dolls along with Ken ?? and then dress them up or keep changing their outfits...etc..????

I hope you don't mind answering, because I have seen a relative's little boy playing with dolls and I'm just being cautious !!

[Guest]

Just out of curiousity, I would like to ask a little question ! :tease:

When you were a child did you used to play with boys toys like 'Action man' figures, racing cars, matchbox cars,'wrestling figures'...etc... OR did you secretly play with your sisters Barbie and sindy dolls along with Ken ?? and then dress them up or keep changing their outfits...etc..????

I hope you don't mind answering, because I have seen a relative's little boy playing with dolls and I'm just being cautious !!

Hahahahahaha

[savinderpalsingh 705]

Marry the girl!!!

It's not good to be gay in Sikhi.It is written in bani.I'll find the tuk later.

:wow: wheres the like button?

[Only five 1,125]

:wow: wheres the like button?

Homie is on quality control.................hes been left in the corner for a long time to think about his actions...............i believe he didn't deserve to be on quality control. There are a few on here who deserve to be on quality control, but they are free to do as they wish.

[Gursikh10 13]

I'm not sure but it has been argued many times that your sexuality is not your choice. Kind of genetic or something.

If that is true then what can he do anyways...he doesn't want to marry a girl and telling your parents you are sexually attracted to men ... that would give me a whoopin' for sure!

Good luck in the future... I honestly don't know how I would handle that. :|

[Only five 1,125]

Tell your parents that you do not want to get married ever. You do not need to tell your parents that you are a homosexual. You don't see heterosexuals boys run up to their mom and tell them......i like girls or heterosexuals girls running up to their father and telling them.....i like boys. Heterosexuality and homosexuality are causing us from seeing reality. Don't pay attention to heterosexuals.........they out number homosexuals, so they create social rules and state laws to prohibit exactly what they are doing with the opposite gender. Ask Maharaj what he says is true about heterosexuality and homosexuality. One paat that has the answer is Sukhmani Sahib.

Defining yourself by sexual inclination is not what a Sikh of Guru Sahib does. It is not your identity in anyway. Do you ever define yourself by saying............my taste buds like pasta..............so im a pasta Sikh? Very foolish statement to make right!! In the same way making statement of sexual inclination are foolish and blocking you from seeing who you really are.

A Sikh can still live a housholders life without getting married to the opposite gender. Go out into the community and use your talents to help others and serve others. If you want adopt a child and live a householder lifestyle in this way. The Sikh community have boxed in the definition of housholder lifestyle and robbed themselves of spiritual growth.