Going To Places Like Yates

[Guest just_checking]

i think i know the answer is no, but need to hear it from other gursikhs...

am i right in saying amritdhari should avoid places like Yates at all costs? ive got work issue, dotn want to go and if i hear its a defo no-no then will feel stronger to hold my ground and say not to work colleagues albeit they may nack chat about me :blush2:

[Wicked Warrior 204]

All depends on you.

I'm not amritdhari but don't drink or eat meat. I've no qualms about walking into a pub - I'm not gonna start drinking. However, it depends on what you're going to do and how you consider things.

If you're going for a social drink, you can drink non-alcoholic drinks but any glasses used will have probably contained alcohol and may not have been washed properly. In which case, something like a J2O or 330ml bottle of coke may be adequate. They come in sealed bottles and you can drink straight from the bottle.

If you're going for food, the crockery and cutlery may have been used on meat products and may contain residue, even if thoroughly washed. Alternatively, you may not be bothered by such things.

Is there any way it can be changed to an alternative venue that you may be more comfortable in?

[luckysingh99 1,197]

I agree, most of us don't have a problem with such places especially with the no-smoking laws.

Places like Yates and other wine bars are a fairly clean environment with more emphasis on comfort rather than consumption of liquor.

I agree, that a bottled soft drink would be the choice from a simple Britvic orange or tomato juice to regular cola.

If you have to go, then just make sure one or two colleagues are aware that you have a strict personal 'no alcohol' policy.

And don't feel pressured or the odd one out.

I usually find that others will appreciate you being there if you make an effort to purchase a round of drinks at least, - this is what colleagues will appreciate more, even if you decide to stay for only 10-15 minutes.

I usually find that sometimes the folk will want to stay longer and then they end up drinking heavily later.- and you don't want to really be there at this stage !!

If you don't go and are the odd one out, then you get excluded from the whole social office network. But if you just go and make a 5 minute appearance and then don't even buy anyone a drink then no one will appreciate it and you WILL be the Black sheep !!

However, if you pop in and say ''look i will have to go soon but i would like to get a round of drinks for everyone''- then everyone will appreciate your 5-10 minutes and be glad that you made the effort.

[S4NGH 753]

As an amritdhari, or kesdhari even, we stand as ambassadors for our nation. I personally would not enter pubs or such places because of that. I dont drink so what reason do i have going into a pub? I dont smoke so what reason would i have going into a cegar shop? I dont use prostitutes, what reason would i have going into a brothel or strip club?

All three of those can be places to socialise but as an ambassador of my nation, I just wouldnt go to any of those places. Sarbans dani pita has given us his roop. When we take up that roop, theres a part of us we have to leave behind. We must remember the responsibility which comes with the image.

People see a Singh going into a pub and they assume Singhs drink. He may be having an apple juice and people will assume his having whisky. He may be having water and people will say its vodka.

People talk about people behind their backs anyways. Nothing you can do about that.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." Oscar Wilde.

[luckysingh99 1,197]

I understand the complete 'must not enter' stance quite well.

However, in the day and age we live in, it all depends on the profession or work role a person has.

Let's say a doctor is next door or on the same street as a pub and a known hooker collapses from a drug OD in the pub !!

As a Sikh is the doctor going to refuse to attend the woman in the pub, or be prepared to give her mouth to mouth ??-Because as a Sikh he strongly refuses to enter a place where liquor is served and also refuses to have any association or dealing with a known prostitute ??

It's situations like these where we have to think of the practicality, livelihood and nowadays situations.

[DustOfYourFeet 44]

Do you want to make guru ji happy or your work colleagues happy? Also in these places the panj chorr are thriving.

[Singhstah 286]

Any places which serve alcohol and meat are a complete no go for Gursikhs!

Also we should only socialise with Gursikhs- have a good working relationship but nothing more than that. Tell me, what time does a gursikh have for socialising? We do our kamayee so we can live and because it is hukam from Guru Sahib, other than that spend your time with Gursikhs and do your own kamayee. Just smile and say that you don't really like environments where there is alcohol and meat.

Guru Sahib says:

ਗੁਰੁ ਮੇਰੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਸਦਾ ਹੈ ਨਾਲੇ ॥

Gur Maerai Sang Sadhaa Hai Naalae ||

My Guru is always with me, near at hand.

ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਤਿਸੁ ਸਦਾ ਸਮ੍ਹ੍ਹਾਲੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Simar Simar This Sadhaa Samhaalae ||1|| Rehaao ||

Meditating, meditating in remembrance on Him, I cherish Him forever. ||1||Pause||

So spend your time with Guru Sahib instead!

ਵਿਚਿ ਸਚੇ ਕੂੜੁ ਨ ਗਡਈ ਮਨਿ ਵੇਖਹੁ ਕੋ ਨਿਰਜਾਸਿ ॥

Vich Sachae Koorr N Gaddee Man Vaekhahu Ko Nirajaas ||

Falsehood does not mix with the Truth; O people, check it out and see.

ਕੂੜਿਆਰ ਕੂੜਿਆਰੀ ਜਾਇ ਰਲੇ ਸਚਿਆਰ ਸਿਖ ਬੈਠੇ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪਾਸਿ ॥੨੬॥

Koorriaar Koorriaaree Jaae Ralae Sachiaar Sikh Baithae Sathigur Paas ||26||

The false go and mingle with the false, while the truthful Sikhs sit by the side of the True Guru. ||26||

[Guroo Guroo Jaap 57]

Singhstah has hit the nail right on the head!