Minimum Age Of Marriage In Sikhi - Rehat?

[TandooriSingh]

45.

Putaree da dhan bikh jananaa|

Realize that considering a daughter as property is as poison.

For Sikhs it's pretty damn simple. A person will marry when they feel they are GOOD AND READY.

You do NOT have the right to decide your childrens lives for them.

We have a culture where we arrange marriages and where the potential bride and groom and their families get to know each other, but the man and woman ultimately make the FINAL DECISION. They don't HAVE to get married if don't like each other. A loveless marriage is a prison, and there's a much higher chance of things going terribly wrong.

A woman (emphasis on WOMAN) can DECIDE when she wants a husband and life partner, and generally speaking that search is going to start in her late teens and early adulthood. There doesn't need to be a specific age given because a WELL REASONED PERSONAL DECISION can't simply be given a number. Some women may NEVER want to get married and NEVER want to have sex.

This was also how things worked in Vedic times, before India became corrupted by Brahmin controlled Hinduism and outside repression (Muslims), this brought us disgraceful disrespect of women, and rubbish like Child Marriage, Dowry, Female Infanticide and Purdah.

Sikhism is about FREEDOM. Always has been, always will be. It's in the name.

Sikh means 'student', a person who is forever learning and SEEKING their own path to become worthy of Gods grace.

Islam means 'submission'. You become a slave to Allah's will and a slave to the Sharia. You must FOLLOW Muhammad to the letter or risk damnation.

With regards to Aisha...

A 6 year old child CANNOT choose to marry a 51 year old man.

A child CANNOT choose to allow a nasty wrinkly old Arab man to dry hump her.

A 9 year old who plays with dolls and swings CANNOT choose to have sex with such a pervert.

Aisha was given no choice, she was simply sold and she suffered for it. She most likely had the figure of a little boy too .

Muhammad was a PEDOPHILE... plain and simple. If you do not accept this you are simply in denial. NOWHERE is this disgusting behaviour with a 6-9 year old acceptable except in Islam.

Why any Sikh would waste their time with that retard propaganda site is beyond me. Sikhism and islam can NEVER be favourably compared, we are polar opposites and can only ever be CONTRASTED.

------------------------------------------------------

Also, since people brought it up....

There is NO evidence that Guru Hargobind had more than one wife. ANYBODY can say he did, but where is the evidence? Why are those who say he did complete unknowns? How are they reputable?

There IS evidence for Guru Gobinds had '3 wives' so to speak because of the physical tombs dotted around India. There are two theories...

Theory A:

Mata Jito was Guru Gobind Singhs first wife. She changed her name to Mata Sundari. Name changing like this was an incredibly easy and common practice.

Mata Sahib Kaur was Guru Gobinds second wife, and in name only. Guru Gobind accepted her and her family to save them from suffering the humiliation of rejection. She was named 'Mother of the Khalsa' and was the first baptized Sikh woman. She then dedicated her life to Seva and celibacy.

Theory B:

Mata Jito was Guru Gobind Singhs first wife. She was unable to give him any children. He had no choice other than to marry again.

Mata Sundari was Guru Gobinds second wife. She gave him his children.

Mata Sahib Kaur was Guru Gobinds third wife, and in name only. Guru Gobind accepted her and her family to save them from suffering the humiliation of rejection. She was named 'Mother of the Khalsa' and was the first baptized Sikh woman. She then dedicated her life to Seva and celibacy.

There are other theories...

Such as them not being 'wives' at all and simply being followers.

Or the idea of multiple wives being positive proganda to make Guru Gobind seem more like a king.

Or it could be negative propaganda made in an attempt to discredit him... in a very weak manner...

Simple really.

[DSGj]

You guys have turned this topic into a total mess.

First of all, as per Sikh Rehit Maryada, females have full equality, rights and freedom.....all previous superstitions and anti-female traditions have been taken care of in Sikh Rehit Maryada:

Article XVIII

d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.

e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites.

....

i. The marriage party should have as small a number of people as the girl's people desire.The two sides should greet each other singing sacred hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

j.....The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having chosen him as the fittest match from among a whole lot, he should regard his wife as his better half, accord to unflinching love and share with her all that he has. In all situations, he should protect her person and honour, he should be completely loyal to her and he should show much respect and consideration for her parents and relations as for his own........

....

l. No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or daughter for monetary consideration.
m. If the girl's parents at any time or on any occasion visit their daughter's home and a meal is ready there, they should not hesitate to eat there. Abstaining from eating at the girl's home is a superstition. The Khalsa has been blessed with the boon of victuals and making others eat by the Guru and the Immortal Being. The girl's and boy's people should keep accepting each other's hospitality, because the Guru has joined them in relationship of equality (Prem Sumarag).
n. If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so wishes, finding a match suitable for her, remarry. For a Sikh man whose wife has died, similar ordinance obtains.
o. The remarriage may be solemnized in the same manner as the Anand marriage.
p. Generally, no Sikh should marry a second wife if the first wife is alive.

Second of all, those of you who are talking about Guru Sahib having multiple wives should have a look through the ENTIRE following link. It has been discussed extensively with lots of proof, and no one has been able to counter it so far. For some reason, which I never really quite understood, it was closed by moderators/ADMIN.

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/71116-wives-of-pitaji/

[DalbirSingh]

You guys have turned this topic into a total mess.

First of all, as per Sikh Rehit Maryada, females have full equality, rights and freedom.....all previous superstitions and anti-female traditions have been taken care of in Sikh Rehit Maryada:

Article XVIII

d. Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.

e. When a girl becomes marriageable, physically, emotionally and by virtue of maturity of character, a suitable Sikh match should be found and she be married to him by Anand marriage rites.

....

i. The marriage party should have as small a number of people as the girl's people desire.The two sides should greet each other singing sacred hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

j.....The bridegroom should be told that the girl's people having chosen him as the fittest match from among a whole lot, he should regard his wife as his better half, accord to unflinching love and share with her all that he has. In all situations, he should protect her person and honour, he should be completely loyal to her and he should show much respect and consideration for her parents and relations as for his own........

....

l. No Sikh should accept a match for his/her son or daughter for monetary consideration.

m. If the girl's parents at any time or on any occasion visit their daughter's home and a meal is ready there, they should not hesitate to eat there. Abstaining from eating at the girl's home is a superstition. The Khalsa has been blessed with the boon of victuals and making others eat by the Guru and the Immortal Being. The girl's and boy's people should keep accepting each other's hospitality, because the Guru has joined them in relationship of equality (Prem Sumarag).

n. If a woman's husband has died, she may, if she so wishes, finding a match suitable for her, remarry. For a Sikh man whose wife has died, similar ordinance obtains.

o. The remarriage may be solemnized in the same manner as the Anand marriage.

p. Generally, no Sikh should marry a second wife if the first wife is alive.

Second of all, those of you who are talking about Guru Sahib having multiple wives should have a look through the ENTIRE following link. It has been discussed extensively with lots of proof, and no one has been able to counter it so far. For some reason, which I never really quite understood, it was closed by moderators/ADMIN.

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/71116-wives-of-pitaji/

Nice stuff singh but this is from the SGPC's rehat which was written down by sikhs some inspired from gurbani but do we have the old rehatnamas to reference?

Additionally I think most muslims argue islam prohibits child marriage but they argue when a girl starts her periods she is then an adult and they argue from the age of around 9 aisha wasn't a child but an adult. Abu argues we have no declaration of what age makes someone an adult. Through western sciences the western world have established it to be 18-21 say 21 to be on the safer side of things although some still argue 16, even though the marriage between an Old age pensioner and a 16 year old is disgusting still for a person called the most perfect human. As for the polygamy thing the mian mir lot use it as an argument against sikhs.

I don't think there is much problems with having more then one wife if they all consent to it and as long as they are adults. All of these mian mir sufi lot argue this as do other muslims against Sikhs. I have known some Sikhs who have 2 wives because one wife couldn't have a child and instead of divorcing her and kicking her out of the house, he kept her. I guess the SGPC won't allow it so people just do their own marriages or don't bother and keep the wife plus in india loads of women live in poverty it's a means to come out of it, for some who were divorced they can remarry likewise that way, it might not be the ideal scenario but it works for many people.

Had he divorced her it would be difficult to remarry knowing she is infertile, a lot of women in india in that time were jobless they couldn't break into the job market (things have changed now recently in india). Her life would have been hell and she could have committed suicide. Instead she lived happily with the 2nd wife who had a child, they both raised it happily and lived happily together. Some might say the guy is wrong he should have adopted a child but adoption for some people is difficult and trivial for the child to be told they aren't blood and for some to raise someone who ain't of their own they feel differences sometimes.

[Singhstah]

Firstly, Guru Sahib has stated the ages at which people are counted in the different stages of life:

ਮਃ ੧ ॥

Ma 1 ||

First Mehl:

ਦਸ ਬਾਲਤਣਿ ਬੀਸ ਰਵਣਿ ਤੀਸਾ ਕਾ ਸੁੰਦਰੁ ਕਹਾਵੈ ॥

Dhas Baalathan Bees Ravan Theesaa Kaa Sundhar Kehaavai ||

At the age of ten, he is a child; at twenty, a youth, and at thirty, he is called handsome.

ਚਾਲੀਸੀ ਪੁਰੁ ਹੋਇ ਪਚਾਸੀ ਪਗੁ ਖਿਸੈ ਸਠੀ ਕੇ ਬੋਢੇਪਾ ਆਵੈ ॥

Chaaleesee Pur Hoe Pachaasee Pag Khisai Sathee Kae Bodtaepaa Aavai ||

At forty, he is full of life; at fifty, his foot slips, and at sixty, old age is upon him.

ਸਤਰਿ ਕਾ ਮਤਿਹੀਣੁ ਅਸੀਹਾਂ ਕਾ ਵਿਉਹਾਰੁ ਨ ਪਾਵੈ ॥

Sathar Kaa Mathiheen Aseehaan Kaa Viouhaar N Paavai ||

At seventy, he loses his intellect, and at eighty, he cannot perform his duties.

ਨਵੈ ਕਾ ਸਿਹਜਾਸਣੀ ਮੂਲਿ ਨ ਜਾਣੈ ਅਪ ਬਲੁ ॥

Navai Kaa Sihajaasanee Mool N Jaanai Ap Bal ||

At ninety, he lies in his bed, and he cannot understand his weakness.

ਢੰਢੋਲਿਮੁ ਢੂਢਿਮੁ ਡਿਠੁ ਮੈ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਗੁ ਧੂਏ ਕਾ ਧਵਲਹਰੁ ॥੩॥

Dtandtolim Dtoodtim Ddith Mai Naanak Jag Dhhooeae Kaa Dhhavalehar ||3||

After seeking and searching for such a long time, O Nanak, I have seen that the world is just a mansion of smoke. ||3||

(Ang 138)

Now there are many shabads where Guru Sahib talks about what activities a person is involved in at particular stages of life, from birth right through to old age. The below shabad is just one example - family life (i.e. marriage and children) is clearly placed into the THIRD stage of life - YOUTH, clearly distinct from the second stage of life which is childhood. The childhood stage of life bears no mention of the child having any responsibility, instead it is considered a stage of life where the child is completely under the care of their parents and is still being brought up. Also please note that the 'HE' is only part of the English translation and not the original Gurmukhi, this shabad, like all of Gurbani applies to both men and women.

ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ ਮਹਲਾ ੪ ॥

Sireeraag Mehalaa 4 ||

Siree Raag, Fourth Mehl:

ਪਹਿਲੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਰੈਣਿ ਕੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਉਦਰ ਮੰਝਾਰਿ ॥

Pehilai Peharai Rain Kai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Har Paaeiaa Oudhar Manjhaar ||

In the first watch of the night, O my merchant friend, the Lord places you in the womb.

ਹਰਿ ਧਿਆਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਉਚਰੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਸਮਾਰਿ ॥

Har Dhhiaavai Har Oucharai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Har Har Naam Samaar ||

You meditate on the Lord, and chant the Lord's Name, O my merchant friend. You contemplate the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਜਪੇ ਆਰਾਧੇ ਵਿਚਿ ਅਗਨੀ ਹਰਿ ਜਪਿ ਜੀਵਿਆ ॥

Har Har Naam Japae Aaraadhhae Vich Aganee Har Jap Jeeviaa ||

Chanting the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, and meditating on it within the fire of the womb, your life is sustained by dwelling on the Naam.

ਬਾਹਰਿ ਜਨਮੁ ਭਇਆ ਮੁਖਿ ਲਾਗਾ ਸਰਸੇ ਪਿਤਾ ਮਾਤ ਥੀਵਿਆ ॥

Baahar Janam Bhaeiaa Mukh Laagaa Sarasae Pithaa Maath Thheeviaa ||

You are born and you come out, and your mother and father are delighted to see your face.

ਜਿਸ ਕੀ ਵਸਤੁ ਤਿਸੁ ਚੇਤਹੁ ਪ੍ਰਾਣੀ ਕਰਿ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਬੀਚਾਰਿ ॥

Jis Kee Vasath This Chaethahu Praanee Kar Hiradhai Guramukh Beechaar ||

Remember the One, O mortal, to whom the child belongs. As Gurmukh, reflect upon Him within your heart.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਾਣੀ ਪਹਿਲੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੀਐ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਧਾਰਿ ॥੧॥

Kahu Naanak Praanee Pehilai Peharai Har Japeeai Kirapaa Dhhaar ||1||

Says Nanak, O mortal, in the first watch of the night, dwell upon the Lord, who shall shower you with His Grace. ||1||

ਦੂਜੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਰੈਣਿ ਕੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਲਾਗਾ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ॥

Dhoojai Peharai Rain Kai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Man Laagaa Dhoojai Bhaae ||

In the second watch of the night, O my merchant friend, the mind is attached to the love of duality.

ਮੇਰਾ ਮੇਰਾ ਕਰਿ ਪਾਲੀਐ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਲੇ ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਗਲਿ ਲਾਇ ॥

Maeraa Maeraa Kar Paaleeai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Lae Maath Pithaa Gal Laae ||

Mother and father hug you close in their embrace, claiming, ""He is mine, he is mine""; so is the child brought up, O my merchant friend.

ਲਾਵੈ ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਦਾ ਗਲ ਸੇਤੀ ਮਨਿ ਜਾਣੈ ਖਟਿ ਖਵਾਏ ॥

Laavai Maath Pithaa Sadhaa Gal Saethee Man Jaanai Khatt Khavaaeae ||

Your mother and father constantly hug you close in their embrace; in their minds, they believe that you will provide for them and support them.

ਜੋ ਦੇਵੈ ਤਿਸੈ ਨ ਜਾਣੈ ਮੂੜਾ ਦਿਤੇ ਨੋ ਲਪਟਾਏ ॥

Jo Dhaevai Thisai N Jaanai Moorraa Dhithae No Lapattaaeae ||

The fool does not know the One who gives; instead, he clings to the gift.

ਕੋਈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਸੁ ਕਰੈ ਵੀਚਾਰੁ ਹਰਿ ਧਿਆਵੈ ਮਨਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਇ ॥

Koee Guramukh Hovai S Karai Veechaar Har Dhhiaavai Man Liv Laae ||

Rare is the Gurmukh who reflects upon, meditates upon, and within his mind, is lovingly attached to the Lord.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੂਜੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਪ੍ਰਾਣੀ ਤਿਸੁ ਕਾਲੁ ਨ ਕਬਹੂੰ ਖਾਇ ॥੨॥

Kahu Naanak Dhoojai Peharai Praanee This Kaal N Kabehoon Khaae ||2||

Says Nanak, in the second watch of the night, O mortal, death never devours you. ||2||

ਤੀਜੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਰੈਣਿ ਕੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਲਗਾ ਆਲਿ ਜੰਜਾਲਿ ॥

Theejai Peharai Rain Kai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Man Lagaa Aal Janjaal ||

In the third watch of the night, O my merchant friend, your mind is entangled in worldly and household affairs.

ਧਨੁ ਚਿਤਵੈ ਧਨੁ ਸੰਚਵੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਾ ਹਰਿ ਨ ਸਮਾਲਿ ॥

Dhhan Chithavai Dhhan Sanchavai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Har Naamaa Har N Samaal ||

You think of wealth, and gather wealth, O my merchant friend, but you do not contemplate the Lord or the Lord's Name.

ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਾ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਸਮਾਲੈ ਜਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਅੰਤਿ ਸਖਾਈ ॥

Har Naamaa Har Har Kadhae N Samaalai J Hovai Anth Sakhaaee ||

You never dwell upon the Name of the Lord, Har, Har, who will be your only Helper and Support in the end.

ਇਹੁ ਧਨੁ ਸੰਪੈ ਮਾਇਆ ਝੂਠੀ ਅੰਤਿ ਛੋਡਿ ਚਲਿਆ ਪਛੁਤਾਈ ॥

Eihu Dhhan Sanpai Maaeiaa Jhoothee Anth Shhodd Chaliaa Pashhuthaaee ||

This wealth, property and Maya are false. In the end, you must leave these, and depart in sorrow.

ਜਿਸ ਨੋ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰੇ ਗੁਰੁ ਮੇਲੇ ਸੋ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਸਮਾਲਿ ॥

Jis No Kirapaa Karae Gur Maelae So Har Har Naam Samaal ||

Those whom the Lord, in His Mercy, unites with the Guru, reflect upon the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਤੀਜੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਪ੍ਰਾਣੀ ਸੇ ਜਾਇ ਮਿਲੇ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਲਿ ॥੩॥

Kahu Naanak Theejai Peharai Praanee Sae Jaae Milae Har Naal ||3||

Says Nanak, in the third watch of the night, O mortal, they go, and are united with the Lord. ||3||

ਚਉਥੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਰੈਣਿ ਕੈ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਹਰਿ ਚਲਣ ਵੇਲਾ ਆਦੀ ॥

Chouthhai Peharai Rain Kai Vanajaariaa Mithraa Har Chalan Vaelaa Aadhee ||

In the fourth watch of the night, O my merchant friend, the Lord announces the time of departure.

ਕਰਿ ਸੇਵਹੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ ਵਣਜਾਰਿਆ ਮਿਤ੍ਰਾ ਸਭ ਚਲੀ ਰੈਣਿ ਵਿਹਾਦੀ ॥

Kar Saevahu Pooraa Sathiguroo Vanajaariaa Mithraa Sabh Chalee Rain Vihaadhee ||

Serve the Perfect True Guru, O my merchant friend; your entire life-night is passing away.

ਹਰਿ ਸੇਵਹੁ ਖਿਨੁ ਖਿਨੁ ਢਿਲ ਮੂਲਿ ਨ ਕਰਿਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਅਸਥਿਰੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਹੋਵਹੁ ॥

Har Saevahu Khin Khin Dtil Mool N Karihu Jith Asathhir Jug Jug Hovahu ||

Serve the Lord each and every instant-do not delay! You shall become eternal throughout the ages.

ਹਰਿ ਸੇਤੀ ਸਦ ਮਾਣਹੁ ਰਲੀਆ ਜਨਮ ਮਰਣ ਦੁਖ ਖੋਵਹੁ ॥

Har Saethee Sadh Maanahu Raleeaa Janam Maran Dhukh Khovahu ||

Enjoy ecstasy forever with the Lord, and do away with the pains of birth and death.

ਗੁਰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਭੇਦੁ ਨ ਜਾਣਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਮਿਲਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਸੁਖਾਂਦੀ ॥

Gur Sathigur Suaamee Bhaedh N Jaanahu Jith Mil Har Bhagath Sukhaandhee ||

Know that there is no difference between the Guru, the True Guru, and your Lord and Master. Meeting with Him, take pleasure in the Lord's devotional service.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਪ੍ਰਾਣੀ ਚਉਥੈ ਪਹਰੈ ਸਫਲਿਓ‍ੁ ਰੈਣਿ ਭਗਤਾ ਦੀ ॥੪॥੧॥੩॥

Kahu Naanak Praanee Chouthhai Peharai Safalio Rain Bhagathaa Dhee ||4||1||3||

Says Nanak, O mortal, in the fourth watch of the night, the life-night of the devotee is fruitful. ||4||1||3||

[DalbirSingh]

That explains why sikhs marry at 30

[DalbirSingh]

Know the Puranas by Ramanuj Prasad - Pustak Mahal

Page 127-128

Marriage:

There are four categories of girls, a seven year old is called gauri, a ten year old is nagnika, a twelve year old as a kanyaka and above that a rajasvala. The best one for marriage is gauri, next is nagnika and kanyaka, rajasvala is the worst.

* Brahma is that form of marriage in which the bride is dressed in valuable jewellery is given away to noble family.

* Daiva is a marriage in which the bride is married to a groom of good conduct in the presence of priests.

* Arsa is the one in which the daughter is given away after performing Vedic rituals and donating a cow or a bull.

* Prajapata is the marriage in which the girl's father instructs the pair to discharge their religious duties.

* Asura is the marriage in which the bride's parents give the bride aftrer receiving a price.

* Gandharva is the marriage in which they get married after falling in love

* Raksas is the one where the bride is abducted and married

* Paisaca is one where the abduction is done by force or deceit, without the consent of the bride.

The Purana states that a wife is half of the husband and where woman are not revered, they are destroyed. It deals elaborately as to how a woman should behave. It can be seen that divorce is permitted, if anyone is not satisfied with the other or the woman is barren. It recommends that the husband wait for 8 years and in case of divorce the stridhana received must be returned.