Cutting Kesh Against My Will

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

I am a child convert to Sikhi about roughly 1-year-ago. Now I want to keep my kesh and my parents force me to get my hair cut. Technically, I could just sit in place and not get into the car to go to the barbershop, but they treat me different and my life will become a living Hell. The Khalsa way is to explain it to them.I've tried but they say, "this is too far...and you are only twelve...you cannot grow out your hair". What can I do? I know the power is in God's hands, but I still don't know what to do.

Please help blessed Khalsa Panth Ji!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

[DTF 160]

Which country are you in brother?

As this is clearly against your human rights vis a vis freedom of religion. Don't give in to your parents.

Young brother, please go to your local Gudrwara and advise Panj Pyare of what your parent's intention.

In order that Panj Pyare or respected Sikhs locally may hold dialogue with your parents.

CALL: 0845 644 0704 (UK)
MOBILE: 07999 004 363 (UK)
EMAIL: info@sikhhelpline.com
WEBSITE: www.sikhhelpline.com

You are welcome to private message me or other forum Sangat local to you if we can be of any assistance. Good luck.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

I am a child convert to Sikhi about roughly 1-year-ago. Now I want to keep my kesh and my parents force me to get my hair cut. Technically, I could just sit in place and not get into the car to go to the barbershop, but they treat me different and my life will become a living Hell. The Khalsa way is to explain it to them.I've tried but they say, "this is too far...and you are only twelve...you cannot grow out your hair". What can I do? I know the power is in God's hands, but I still don't know what to do.

Please help blessed Khalsa Panth Ji!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I would recommend leaving your parents, but again your still young. But your problem isn't unique as even Guru Nanak Dev Ji had his own father slap him for simply giving food to the poor. (He was a greedy man, but blessed). What I do honestly recommend would be is to have an open discussion with them and tell them you love them, but Sikhi is what you love more. It would hurt any parent to hear that their child left the faith they tried hard to keep, but it's just what has to happen to them.

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

Which country are you in brother?

USA

Young brother, please go to your local Gudrwara and advise Panj Pyare of what your parent's intention.

My parents would be my only ride to get me there, and the nearest gurudwara where I am is 45 minutes away by car, so walking or riding a bike isn't an option.

What I do honestly recommend would be is to have an open discussion with them and tell them you love them, but Sikhi is what you love more. It would hurt any parent to hear that their child left the faith they tried hard to keep, but it's just what has to happen to them.

That would hurt there feelings because they always say that they love me and my siblings more than anything. But if that is what I must do I will.

[hsingh8963 371]

Call sikh helpline

In the meantine listen to Katha and learn punjabI

http://m.youtube.com/#/user/basicsofsikhi

https://m.soundcloud.com/gurshabadveechar

https://m.soundcloud.com/sikh2inspire

Also do simian as much as possible

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Call sikh helpline

In the meantine listen to Katha and learn punjabI

http://m.youtube.com/#/user/basicsofsikhi

https://m.soundcloud.com/gurshabadveechar

https://m.soundcloud.com/sikh2inspire

Also do simian as much as possible

Sikh Helpline doesn't really do much in America.

[MisterrSingh 3,440]

Also do simian as much as possible

Let's keep the poor apes out of it, they've done nothing wrong.

[TheFancyBanana 747]

Its good to see someone so young wanting to keep the image of Guru Ji.

What religion are your parents bro?

Are there any Sikhs who live near you?

Remain strong and focus on your putting Sikhi into practice.

Talk to your parents about why you want to be a Sikh, explain everything to do them. The philosophy and why you want to keep your kesh. They might be scared about why you want to keep your kesh, they might not understand, so try to have an open conversation with them. Don't be scared, remain strong!

If they don't let you keep your kesh and don't understand why you want to do it, wait till you're a bit older. You are still quite young, so just wait till you're older to show them you are serious about Sikhi. Focus on learning about Sikhi, read the Guru Granth Sahib, contemplate its message and put it into practice. Focus on becoming a strong Sikh, when Waheguru does kirpa, you will keep your kesh.

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

What religion are your parents bro?

Christian

Are there any Sikhs who live near you?

No.

lain everything to do them. The philosophy and why you want to keep your kesh. They might be scared about why you want to keep your kesh, they might not understand, so try to have an open conversation with them. Don't be scared, remain strong!

If they don't let you keep your kesh and don't understand why you want to do it, wait till you're a bit older. You are still quite young, so just wait till you're older to show them you are serious about Sikhi. Focus on learning about Sikhi, read the Guru Granth Sahib, contemplate its message and put it into practice. Focus on becoming a strong Sikh, when Waheguru does kirpa, you will keep your kesh.

Will do! Thanks for all your help.

[buddasingh 209]

You sound extremely intelligent for your age. Do the following over weeks or months if necessary. The goal is not to convince your parents of anything but to educate yourselves as a family. You will grow up continuously and quickly in the next few years. Ultimately you will be deciding your fate.

First ask and learn about everything your parents want for you. What values they want you to have. What hopes they have for you. What concerns they have for you. If you don't have this relationship with your parents, develop it. Use humour, deference, curiosity, whatever is already comfortable in your relationship with your parents.

At some point ask your parents precisely what aspect of this that they have an issue with. Do not argue, rather do your very best to get in a discussion. Pretend it is not about you and you are speaking of someone else's situation from a bird's eye view.

Expect that your parents will make it personal. If they do ask them something along the lines of... 'may we just talk and discuss and learn without trying to convince anyone of anything'... Under no circumstances participate in arguing, it takes 2. If that means you have to exit the discussion and bring it up a few days later then do that.

When they make it personal, listen to them as expressing concern for you. Listen to their concerns and address them. They may base their concerns on wrong information but it does not mean their concerns aren't real and valid as concerns. They may also learn from you.

You want to develop a mutual trust and open dialogue if possible with your parents. You can then show them why you're interested in Sikhi. Tell them and show them online what kind of things interest you.

When the time is right, explain to your parents that so many children are engrossed in negative things...gaming addictions, drugs, online bullying, etc. So many are engrossed in positive passions whether that be gaming, a sport, a sports team, a hobby, martial arts philosophy. Tell them this is part of your passion, part of your identity just like any other child and for you the values are part of learning about life and growing up.

For a Sikh our hair is our spirit. Again when the time is right explain to your parents that you feel like by forcing you to cut your hair, they are cutting your spirit.

You little bro are like the panj piare slowly walking forward. You were not comfortably or conveniently Sikh by family. Some of us never make a choice to be Sikh. We 'love' it, but as a comfortable pride. But your love is definitely headed in the direction of being worthy of great things. In that regard, it is OK that you are challenged in your march and OK to challenge yourself and face hard questions from your parents. The panj piare were challenged to give everything. But they recognized this as being given everything. Your challenges are as you say 'power in Gods hands'.

As mentioned above, rest assured that the time will come soon when you will decide your own fate. Your parents will defer to your choices. In the meantime be strong and get even stronger. Learn learn and learn.

Another person who recognized giving his head as the same as being given everything is Bhai Randhir Singh. Read the autobiography of Bhai Randhir Singh and his amazing strength and perspective to be free in the face of torture. In particular in the latter half of the book.

There is a link here: http://vidhia.com/Bhai%20Randheer%20Singh%20Ji/Autobiography-Bhai-Sahib-Randhir-Singh-Ji.pdf

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

You sound extremely intelligent for your age. Do the following over weeks or months if necessary. The goal is not to convince your parents of anything but to educate yourselves as a family. You will grow up continuously and quickly in the next few years. Ultimately you will be deciding your fate.

First ask and learn about everything your parents want for you. What values they want you to have. What hopes they have for you. What concerns they have for you. If you don't have this relationship with your parents, develop it. Use humour, deference, curiosity, whatever is already comfortable in your relationship with your parents.

At some point ask your parents precisely what aspect of this that they have an issue with. Do not argue, rather do your very best to get in a discussion. Pretend it is not about you and you are speaking of someone else's situation from a bird's eye view.

Expect that your parents will make it personal. If they do ask them something along the lines of... 'may we just talk and discuss and learn without trying to convince anyone of anything'... Under no circumstances participate in arguing, it takes 2. If that means you have to exit the discussion and bring it up a few days later then do that.

When they make it personal, listen to them as expressing concern for you. Listen to their concerns and address them. They may base their concerns on wrong information but it does not mean their concerns aren't real and valid as concerns. They may also learn from you.

You want to develop a mutual trust and open dialogue if possible with your parents. You can then show them why you're interested in Sikhi. Tell them and show them online what kind of things interest you.

When the time is right, explain to your parents that so many children are engrossed in negative things...gaming addictions, drugs, online bullying, etc. So many are engrossed in positive passions whether that be gaming, a sport, a sports team, a hobby, martial arts philosophy. Tell them this is part of your passion, part of your identity just like any other child and for you the values are part of learning about life and growing up.

For a Sikh our hair is our spirit. Again when the time is right explain to your parents that you feel like by forcing you to cut your hair, they are cutting your spirit.

You little bro are like the panj piare slowly walking forward. You were not comfortably or conveniently Sikh by family. Some of us never make a choice to be Sikh. We 'love' it, but as a comfortable pride. But your love is definitely headed in the direction of being worthy of great things. In that regard, it is OK that you are challenged in your march and OK to challenge yourself and face hard questions from your parents. The panj piare were challenged to give everything. But they recognized this as being given everything. Your challenges are as you say 'power in Gods hands'.

As mentioned above, rest assured that the time will come soon when you will decide your own fate. Your parents will defer to your choices. In the meantime be strong and get even stronger. Learn learn and learn.

Another person who recognized giving his head as the same as being given everything is Bhai Randhir Singh. Read the autobiography of Bhai Randhir Singh and his amazing strength and perspective to be free in the face of torture. In particular in the latter half of the book.

There is a link here: http://vidhia.com/Bhai%20Randheer%20Singh%20Ji/Autobiography-Bhai-Sahib-Randhir-Singh-Ji.pdf

Thank you so much! Perfect response! Dhan dhan gur khalsa panth ji.

[gsingh9 71]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Your parents think its just a phase. So just remain open with them, do they know about Sikhi? If not just show them, start with the similarities of Sikhi and Christianity.

I had cut hair most of my life, and just one day it happened Guru Ji blessed me with Kesh. It just happened, and it will defo happen with you.

Its really inspiring to see a young person, not from Sikh family coming into Sikhi. Your really blessed and hopefully you parents will allow you to grow your kesh, if not when your older.

It will be worth the wait, that day when look in the mirror and you look like a Singh of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji, you feel so happy. Just do Ardaas and ask Guru Ji to bless you with the gift of Kesh when the times right.

Hope you remain in Chardi Kala

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki Fateh ji..!

I don't mean to be rude, just really curious to What's your ethnicity is?

Its not rude at all

I'm American. Born and raised in America.

[wahegurubhagatsingh 29]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Your parents think its just a phase.

Yeah they do. I was talking to them about this like a week ago and they said "You're only twelve and we know you IDENTIFY AS A SIKH but you can't have kesh". They think I'm still a Christian. But whatever. One day they'll realize, whether it be this life or not.

So just remain open with them, do they know about Sikhi? If not just show them, start with the similarities of Sikhi and Christianity.

I've shown them about Sikhi but I really feel like they were only half listening.

I had cut hair most of my life, and just one day it happened Guru Ji blessed me with Kesh. It just happened, and it will defo happen with you.

Yeah, I recently felt attached to my hair and one time I cried after a haircut. Yeah Waheguru will do kirpaa for me eventually and what a great day that will be.

Its really inspiring to see a young person, not from Sikh family coming into Sikhi. Your really blessed and hopefully you parents will allow you to grow your kesh, if not when your older.

It will be worth the wait, that day when look in the mirror and you look like a Singh of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji, you feel so happy. Just do Ardaas and ask Guru Ji to bless you with the gift of Kesh when the times right.

Hope you remain in Chardi Kala

The Khalsa Panth is awakening. Dhan Dhan Sri Vaheguru that you have blessed my foolish Sikh to begin to walk on the path, no matter how far many home is.

You re,ain in cherdhi kala too!

Wjkk wjkf!

[Guest]

Its not rude at all

I'm American. Born and raised in America.

What he means is are you black, white, brown, Chinese etc