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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I feel like giving up now.

I can't do Path properly, today I tried doing Japji Sahib. I just couldnt do it took me more than an hour to recite it, it took me 40 minutes to do 3 Pouree's. My head feels blocked, and I can't recite anything. I tell my self to man up, still can't do it.

During Path i start to swear at Guru Ji, get bad thoughts about the sangat, for example my mind wishes bad stuff to my brother and sisters (the sangat) who are progressing in Sikhi. But why do i want bad stuff to happen to my own family :/.

I feel like whats the point, I dont deserve to be a Sikh. I don't think im strong enough. This is heart breaking for me, things where going well over the past 2 years I was blessed with Kesh, getting more into Sikhi.

I can't do Nitnem takes me way to long, to do one bani sometimes, I need to revise for my exams as well which start in a week, but if i don't i feel like Guru Ji was just abandon me.

I really don't what to do, if i can't do Japji Sahib properly after trying for more than a year, then im just stuck in one place.

I just want to start slowly again, but that guilt really gets me.

Im probably annoying the Sangat on here, with these questions, but its the only people I can talk to.

Im sorry Guru Ji.

Please forgive me if i said anything wrong or offensive.

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Why do you swear??? I really don't know what to say about that.

As for phat, who cares how long it takes.. dharm is always first; it usually takes me 2 hours every morning to finish all of my phats.

I don't know these thoughts just come in my head :(

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It happens. Ups and downs in spirituality. Seems like ur mind is fighting because ur going down the right path. Maya will take many forms to stop u, it will use fun and depression. Don't let it win. In pain, sorrow, stay with waheguru. This stage will pass, but if u want it to pass faster, do sangat. Go to camps, samagsms anywhere with chardi kala sangat. Also if u can't do paath, try other things kirtan, Katha. Seva. Keep bothering ur mind like its bothering u. Don't staganate just keep going and if ur mind isn't in something switch to something else. Be like 10 mins a day I'm going to do simran and 10 mins paath. Doesn't matter how much u do. Just stick to ur guns for the 10 mins. Then study for exams. And in evening do the same thing 10 mins simran and 10 mins paath. Also do ardaas asking for help in getting rid of these thoughts and feelings.

I'll feel so guilty though, I feel like Guru Ji won't be happy with me, its like im giving up Path to follow my own will.

Don't work on reciting right now. Go to YouTube and search japji sahib, and other bani and read the translations while you listen. Try that. It will make nitnem better for you

Go to soundcloud.

Search up

SYF

Bhai Sukha Singh

Sikh2inspire

Find Katha there and listen.

Bhai sukha singh has Katha on aasa and desires LISTEN TO THAT ASAP that will help loads

Also.. go to youtube and search 'saki bhai Manj' listen to that whole divan of Sant Waryam Singh... that will motivate you ALOT!! Please comment your other questions here. Or if you need help with links.

Do not give up.

Defo check Bhai Sukha Singh Ji katha, they really help me.

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Stop feeling guilty about it. Thats a massive obstacle in your path. We all fall off the path, this is life. This is the journey of a Sikh. We are children of the Guru, we will all fall, we'll hurt ourselves, we'll make mistakes. But we should learn from them, we will become stronger and better people.

ਸੁਤੁ ਅਪਰਾਧ ਕਰਤ ਹੈ ਜੇਤੇ ॥

Suth Aparaadhh Karath Hai Jaethae ||

The son may commit many mistakes,

ਜਨਨੀ ਚੀਤਿ ਨ ਰਾਖਸਿ ਤੇਤੇ ॥੧॥

Jananee Cheeth N Raakhas Thaethae ||1||

His mother does not hold them against him in her mind. ||1||

ਰਾਮਈਆ ਹਉ ਬਾਰਿਕੁ ਤੇਰਾ ॥

Raameeaa Ho Baarik Thaeraa ||

Waheguru, I am Your child.

ਕਾਹੇ ਨ ਖੰਡਸਿ ਅਵਗਨੁ ਮੇਰਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Kaahae N Khanddas Avagan Maeraa ||1|| Rehaao ||

Why not destroy my mistakes and shortcomings? ||1||Pause||

ਜੇ ਅਤਿ ਕ੍ਰੋਪ ਕਰੇ ਕਰਿ ਧਾਇਆ ॥

Jae Ath Krop Karae Kar Dhhaaeiaa ||

If the son, in anger, begins to hit his mother.

ਤਾ ਭੀ ਚੀਤਿ ਨ ਰਾਖਸਿ ਮਾਇਆ ॥੨॥

Thaa Bhee Cheeth N Raakhas Maaeiaa ||2||

Even then, his mother does not hold it against him in her mind. ||2||

ਚਿੰਤ ਭਵਨਿ ਮਨੁ ਪਰਿਓ ਹਮਾਰਾ ॥

Chinth Bhavan Man Pariou Hamaaraa ||

My mind has fallen into the whirlpool of anxiety.

ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਕੈਸੇ ਉਤਰਸਿ ਪਾਰਾ ॥੩॥

Naam Binaa Kaisae Outharas Paaraa ||3||

Without the Naam, how can I cross over to the other side? ||3||

ਦੇਹਿ ਬਿਮਲ ਮਤਿ ਸਦਾ ਸਰੀਰਾ ॥

Dhaehi Bimal Math Sadhaa Sareeraa ||

Please, bless my body with pure and lasting understanding,

ਸਹਜਿ ਸਹਜਿ ਗੁਨ ਰਵੈ ਕਬੀਰਾ ॥੪॥੩॥੧੨॥

Sehaj Sehaj Gun Ravai Kabeeraa ||4||3||12||

In peace, slowly and steadily, Kabeer contemplates upon the Praises of Waheguru. ||4||3||12||

You need to change your mindset. It seems like you are almost forcing yourself to do bani. Don't force yourself to do it. Do it out of love, when you really want to do some bani.

Don't do a lot at once. Just do mool mantar or some simran. You don't have to do the whole thing. Why not listen to some kirtan?

ਹਰਿ ਕਾ ਬਿਲੋਵਨਾ ਬਿਲੋਵਹੁ ਮੇਰੇ ਭਾਈ ॥

Har Kaa Bilovanaa Bilovahu Maerae Bhaaee ||

Churn the churn of Waheguru, my Siblings.

ਸਹਜਿ ਬਿਲੋਵਹੁ ਜੈਸੇ ਤਤੁ ਨ ਜਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Sehaj Bilovahu Jaisae Thath N Jaaee ||1|| Rehaao ||

Churn it slowly and steadily, so that the essence, the butter, may not be lost. ||1||Pause||

Sehaj, slowly and steadily. Don't force yourself to do it at once, make sure you do something, but don't try to go really fast. This shabad is using the metaphor of making butter from milk. If you mix the milk too fast, you will lost the butter.

Do you do seva? Get involved with helping people. Interact with others and put Sikhi into practice.

You should go to a doctor, just to make sure.

Why does this happen to you? Why can't you read bani? Does it happen with anything else? Can you read other things?

I used to go to the doctor before, I used to stress to much it got so worse that I started having suicidal thoughts. But the Guru Ji bani helped me through that period. Then I started having bad thoughts which got me into Sikhi a lot more I was getting disturbing thoughts, I still get them but Gurus bani gave me support. I probably have OCD, I think im stressing they way I pronounce banis. And know because its something relating to Guru Ji makes me feel more crapy.

Thanks for the showing me the above banis. I just need to trust Guru Ji that i need to get this idea out of my head that if i dont do a bani that something bad is going to happen

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Gud reply Bundha paji and others, thankuji for that advise.

GSingh9 paji u are going thru a stressful time in ur life which will add to th obstacles u are experiencing. If u feel it's affecting u so bad u should go back to ur doctor n ask for help again. Get blood tests done also to rule out any deficiencies that maybe causing some cognitive problems. Hanji like others have said listen to the audio and absorb that. You are trying too hard to concentrate and making sure everything is perfect. Let go of the perfection standards and rules you are setting yourself. It doesn't matter if can't do it perfectly, but God knows u and wat u are capable of and they love u for the way u do it as long as there is love for them.

Waheguru.

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Gud reply Bundha paji and others, thankuji for that advise.

GSingh9 paji u are going thru a stressful time in ur life which will add to th obstacles u are experiencing. If u feel it's affecting u so bad u should go back to ur doctor n ask for help again. Get blood tests done also to rule out any deficiencies that maybe causing some cognitive problems. Hanji like others have said listen to the audio and absorb that. You are trying too hard to concentrate and making sure everything is perfect. Let go of the perfection standards and rules you are setting yourself. It doesn't matter if can't do it perfectly, but God knows u and wat u are capable of and they love u for the way u do it as long as there is love for them.

Waheguru.

Thanks for the advice, just need to get this perfection idea out my head.

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gsingh9 Ji,

4. When you get these thoughts in your mind, the swearing etc this is what you need to do.

Stop your paath or simran.

Warn off those inside you. Tell them, in your mind, "Go away." then do quick benti to Guru Ji - " Guru Ji this is not me speaking, forgive me they are trying to stop me

from your paath". No karam has been made.

Then carry on with the paath or simran.

NO guilt, NO torturing yourself.

Be happy and love your Guru like your father.

All is cool.

Thanks for the advice, I always wondered what happened to my Karma every time i get these thoughts

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