Sikh Parenting Issues

[Big_Tera]

Domestic violence, martial strife, family problems, relationships issues

Why do many Sikh marriages have so many problems such as these. Is it any wonder why many Sikh kids go astray and turn to drugs alcohol ect.

How to adress this issue in the Sikh community?

[dallysingh101]

Start at home, with your own and extended family.

[JagsawSingh]

Every community has them. Most probably more than us. Carribean blacks don't tend to have as many father/husband issues though. Thats mostly because they don't know who/where he is.

[Kira]

Would help if Marriages were based a bit more on the couple getting to know each other first rather than just marrying as complete strangers, this seems to be a worrying trend, especially those that are using marriage as a means of immigration. I've seen that take it's toll as 2 incompatible people get married and then end fighting over random things.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Domestic violence, martial strife, family problems, relationships issues

Why do many Sikh marriages have so many problems such as these. Is it any wonder why many Sikh kids go astray and turn to drugs alcohol ect.

How to adress this issue in the Sikh community?

Every family has issues; however, the big thing that should be solved is to actually help these people with their family problems: (that can only be done if they're willing to share their problem), only then can we find a solution or an alternative solution. This Sewa can only be done by those that only people gifted with the ability of psychology and guidance.

[Big_Tera]

Maybe alcohol is one issue. I have heard how alot of Kids say they dont respect their own fathers because they are alcoholics. There is also the factor that alcoholism leads to domestic violence in the home. The kids then feel alot of stress when they are at home seeing their parents argue.

Maybe we need more awareness about the dangers of alcohol and how it affects the family. Its become to acceptable that Punjabi fathers drink to much.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Maybe alcohol is one issue. I have heard how alot of Kids say they dont respect their own fathers because they are alcoholics. There is also the factor that alcoholism leads to domestic violence in the home. The kids then feel alot of stress when they are at home seeing their parents argue.

Maybe we need more awareness about the dangers of alcohol and how it affects the family. Its become to acceptable that Punjabi fathers drink to much.

Sikhs aren't allowed to drink alcohol, are you sure this isn't a Hindu Punjabi or Muslim Punjabi issue?

[dallysingh101]

We need to make a lot of effort personally and community wise to take the stigma away from these things. I think the way we often go on, with a 'I'm better than you, my family is better than yours' attitude, makes it difficult for people who are suffering to come out in the open, because snide fudhoos in the community use it to take another opportunity to kick them when they are down.

So too many people end up suffering in silence.

Not only do we need to shame the things that are happening, we also need to shame those people who are indifferent to it because it doesn't personally effect them.

[dallysingh101]

Sikhs aren't allowed to drink alcohol, are you sure this isn't a Hindu Punjabi or Muslim Punjabi issue?

Wake up man. Are you serious?

The amount of drinking by people from Panjabi SIkh backgrounds is legendary, they drink much more than Panjabi Muslims or Hindus. Don't turn a blind eye to it for God's sake.

You can go to a local pub when a big football match is on in certain areas and see it packed with pagh wearing Sikhs watching, cheering and having a pint.

[simran345]

We need to make a lot of effort personally and community wise to take the stigma away from these things. I think the way we often go on, with a 'I'm better than you, my family is better than yours' attitude, makes it difficult for people who are suffering to come out in the open, because snide fudhoos in the community use it to take another opportunity to kick them when they are down.

So too many people end up suffering in silence.

Not only do we need to shame the things that are happening, we also need to shame those people who are indifferent to it because it doesn't personally effect them.

Yes the ahankaar in the families that don't have the problems makes others unapproachable. And even if they do approach them for guidance or somebody to talk to in times of dukh, the ahankaari ones will make it clear it's not their problem and they are not interested. Some go as far as the blame game.

This is where we need these services at gurdwaras, where people can feel comfortable getting help without being judged, within the community. There should be drop-in sessions, or some facility where one can talk to somebody and be guided in the right direction.