Amritdhari Wedding

[jkvlondon]

Something very, very similar happened a few weeks ago to a Gursikh bibi my family knows. Both husband and wife are UK born and Gursikhs, but she's now in deep because of the tactic you've mentioned above.

my friend got gouged like this , she married a desi lad who took amrit in the jatha , her Dad warned her but she was adamant that it was OK , he turned nasty as soon as he got his paperwork through, he broke her arm then divorced her after she invested her hard earned nest egg into a flat for them and lawyers and whatnot to get him permanent stamp . Now because of all the hoo ha, he had talked filth about her as well , she had to emigrate to Oz for peace of mind .She is now happily settled there.

[MisterrSingh]

my friend got gouged like this , she married a desi lad who took amrit in the jatha , her Dad warned her but she was adamant that it was OK , he turned nasty as soon as he got his paperwork through, he broke her arm then divorced her after she invested her hard earned nest egg into a flat for them and lawyers and whatnot to get him permanent stamp . Now because of all the hoo ha, he had talked filth about her as well , she had to emigrate to Oz for peace of mind .She is now happily settled there.

A fair amount of foreign-born Gursikh bibiya have ended up in similar situations. Their naivety and stubborness has ended up costing them dearly. They assume because the guy is Gursikh and part of a Jatha, he's a brahmgyani in the making. But once the honeymoon period is over, figuratively speaking, his true colours come shining through. Some girls are even saddled with kids who'll most likely never see their fathers.

[jkvlondon]

A fair amount of foreign-born Gursikh bibiya have ended up in similar situations. Their naivety and stubborness has ended up costing them dearly. They assume because the guy is Gursikh and part of a Jatha, he's a brahmgyani in the making. But once the honeymoon period is over, figuratively speaking, his true colours come shining through. Some girls are even saddled with kids who'll most likely never see their fathers.

it is so despicable, my sis was extra wary of amritdhari guys because of it ...too many bhekhi sikhs ...so she said I'll work towards amrit with my partner so I know what's what

[MisterrSingh]

it is so despicable, my sis was extra wary of amritdhari guys because of it ...too many bhekhi sikhs ...so she said I'll work towards amrit with my partner so I know what's what

Hanji, it seems Guru Gobind Singh Ji's bachan regarding there being many false Sikhs in Sikhi garb during the height of Kaljug was so spot on.

There's also instances where gullible foreign-born Gursikh lads are duped by girls from back home, who've taken Amrit and wear a keski or dastaar specifically to nab one of said Gursikh guys. They do it to get an easy ride overseas, and the funny thing is that some of these Gursikh guys and their families are following hukam, so there's no dowry demands or anything of the sort. Yet, it's these type of Sikhs that get messed around the most.

[jkvlondon]

Hanji, it seems Guru Gobind Singh Ji's bachan regarding there being many false Sikhs in Sikhi garb during the height of Kaljug was so spot on.

There's also instances where gullible foreign-born Gursikh lads are duped by girls from back home, who've taken Amrit and wear a keski or dastaar specifically to nab one of said Gursikh guys. They do it to get an easy ride overseas, and the funny thing is that some of these Gursikh guys and their families are following hukam, so there's no dowry demands or anything of the sort. Yet, it's these type of Sikhs that get messed around the most.

tell me about it my bro just younger than me married a punjaban ...we made zero demands ...and she has been the most nasty piece of work to my Mum and my Sis since day1 .

[simran345]

Hanji, it seems Guru Gobind Singh Ji's bachan regarding there being many false Sikhs in Sikhi garb during the height of Kaljug was so spot on.

There's also instances where gullible foreign-born Gursikh lads are duped by girls from back home, who've taken Amrit and wear a keski or dastaar specifically to nab one of said Gursikh guys. They do it to get an easy ride overseas, and the funny thing is that some of these Gursikh guys and their families are following hukam, so there's no dowry demands or anything of the sort. Yet, it's these type of Sikhs that get messed around the most.

I was going to mention the girls too that take advantage, and then leave them, not just Gursikh but non Gursikhs too. It's sad to hear the Gursikhs are experiencing this aswell.

[MisterrSingh]

tell me about it my bro just younger than me married a punjaban ...we made zero demands ...and she has been the most nasty piece of work to my Mum and my Sis since day1 .

Ouch. It's like rolling a dice. You either luck-out and end up with someone wonderful or things turn pear-shaped. I usually find a strong, clear-headed guy can turn around such a situation if the girl from back home is taking liberties. They respect someone who stands their ground and doesn't take any bakwaas. That doesn't mean she starts getting knocked about or anything of the sort, just make her feel her current course of action will result in life being difficult for her and only her. If the guy is meek or unable to stand up for himself, the girl knows she's onto a winner. With girls such as these, as sad it may sound, the male cannot afford to show any hints of weakness. Only the husband can do this; nobody else can do it for him.

I was going to mention the girls too that take advantage, and then leave them, not just Gursikh but non Gursikhs too. It's sad to hear the Gursikhs are experiencing this aswell.

It happens a lot, bhenji. I don't see why Gursikhs return home for a partner; there's more than enough rehatvaan choices in this country for those at that stage of their life. We may be Sikhs and Punjabis like those of our brethren back home, but I'm afraid to say the mentality and approach to life is occasionally incompatible. It's genuinely a shock for those from here expecting a homely, respectable girl to come over and slot into UK life with ease. Those days are a speck on the horizon.

[simran345]

Ouch. It's like rolling a dice. You either luck-out and end up with someone wonderful or things turn pear-shaped. I usually find a strong, clear-headed guy can turn around such a situation if the girl from back home is taking liberties. They respect someone who stands their ground and doesn't take any bakwaas. That doesn't mean she starts getting knocked about or anything of the sort, just make her feel her current course of action will result in life being difficult for her and only her. If the guy is meek or unable to stand up for himself, the girl knows she's onto a winner. With girls such as these, as sad it may sound, the male cannot afford to show any hints of weakness. Only the husband can do this; nobody else can do it for him.

It happens a lot, bhenji. I don't see why Gursikhs return home for a partner; there's more than enough rehatvaan choices in this country for those at that stage of their life. We may be Sikhs and Punjabis like those of our brethren back home, but I'm afraid to say the mentality and approach to life is occasionally incompatible. It's genuinely a shock for those from here expecting a homely, respectable girl to come over and slot into UK life with ease. Those days are a speck on the horizon.

It's because they think they are better and more respectable, but in fact it's the opposite nowadays, they probably are worse than what they were expecting. You are right about the approach to life and way of thinking, I feel there is little humanity in some and the small precious things are actually overlooked. There doesn't seem to be any etiquette either in communication. Not all but the interpersonal communication is definitely not there.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

I wish Amrit was respected more than just a marriage-ticket, people should serve Guru Sahib not their own choices for romance.