SURVEY: 90% DIVORCED WOMEN PREFER GURSIKH,15% UNMARRIED PREFER GURSIKH

[Ranjeet01]

11 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

A backhanded compliment if I ever saw one, i.e. "When we're young and carefree and in a position to choose, we want the guy of our dreams; the clean-shaven man that modern society deems to be ideal. But when things go south, then we'll settle for the second choice; the safe, religious type."

If you look at the article, you will see that they mention the word "financial". These women look for financial security, "a safe pair of hands" so to speak.

But with polls, I would take them with a pinch of salt.

These polls were taken in gurdwaras, wonder what these women would be saying outside the gurdwara.

 

 

[Ranjeet01]

6 hours ago, Jonny101 said:

Our girls before marriage think life is like a bollywood movie. They want to marry some guy that looks like a bollywood hero. BUT when they get married reality hits, and they realise it's no longer a bollywood fantasy.

 

I believe things are turning around now as you can see many Sikh youth are getting back into Sikhi. In future Guru Sahib will bless us with Gurmat Sojhi. But in the west at least, the generation of Sikh girls from the 80s till now has been the lost generations. That is when they all started demanding a "clean shaven jatt sikh boy" in matrimonial adds. And sadly in this case, demand increased supply. All our boys in the west began cutting their kess. 

 

And it has to be said, it was mainly Jattis who started this anti Gurmat demand. Khatri and Ramgaria girls were and still are largely ok with turbaned boys. 

I wonder what the reason for this dynamic is.

I think it is probably due to the fact Khatris and Ramgharias are more likely to be self employed than Jatts.

I think that being self-employed gives a certain higher status, because you business owners do have more money than employed people.

Status is important for women. If marrying a kesh turbanned Sikh maintains or raise their status then they will marry them.

When girls/women marry they tend to be very pragmatic on their choices. I would not pay too much attention on the "jo likhia sanjog" malarkey that is spun by the bibian. 

[singhbj singh]

The norm for marriage is, guy should be rich & girl good looking.

Now those who don't have money and aren't good looking try to bag a spouse under some disguise.

Punjabis come with a lot of Baggage.

Caste, pind, jatha, nationality, big families, gender inequality etc so it's better to think out of the box.

Inter religion marriages are very common in Kerala (land of communists).

Wife embraces husbands religion simple as that !

Guru Sahibaan's practiced Open Door policy those who wanna come into Sikhi are Welcome those who wanna leave are free to go.

[MisterrSingh]

2 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

When girls/women marry they tend to be very pragmatic on their choices. I would not pay too much attention on the "jo likhia sanjog" malarkey that is spun by the bibian. 

Very true.

Quick true story: Sikh girl hits 30, still isn't married. She practically decrepit by Punjabi standards. Admittedly, she's qualified in a prestigious field (medicine or legal, I can't recall), and the family want someone of comparable status. Girl's mother regales anyone that she encounters that she (the mother) won't settle for any Jatt munda because they just aren't educated enough these days. They spend years looking for the ideal Punjabi boy, but no luck, whilst constantly espousing the, "My daughter is too educated / She needs a similar status partner," mantra to all and sundry. 

A few years later, girl gets married, but remarkably it's to a Sikh guy that barely escaped secondary school with a handful of GCSE's. He's a coarse, what-you-see-is-what-you-get type. The girl's mother seems overjoyed. Oh, by the way, the guy's dad is a multi-millionaire, and his only son (and only child) is set to inherit it all eventually. 

Now that's sanjog. 

[Ranjeet01]

44 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Very true.

Quick true story: Sikh girl hits 30, still isn't married. She practically decrepit by Punjabi standards. Admittedly, she's qualified in a prestigious field (medicine or legal, I can't recall), and the family want someone of comparable status. Girl's mother regales anyone that she encounters that she (the mother) won't settle for any Jatt munda because they just aren't educated enough these days. They spend years looking for the ideal Punjabi boy, but no luck, whilst constantly espousing the, "My daughter is too educated / She needs a similar status partner," mantra to all and sundry. 

A few years later, girl gets married, but remarkably it's to a Sikh guy that barely escaped secondary school with a handful of GCSE's. He's a coarse, what-you-see-is-what-you-get type. The girl's mother seems overjoyed. Oh, by the way, the guy's dad is a multi-millionaire, and his only son (and only child) is set to inherit it all eventually. 

Now that's sanjog. 

That's hypergamy for you!

 

[Cisco_Singh]

11 hours ago, Jonny101 said:

Our girls before marriage think life is like a bollywood movie. They want to marry some guy that looks like a bollywood hero. BUT when they get married reality hits, and they realise it's no longer a bollywood fantasy.

 

I believe things are turning around now as you can see many Sikh youth are getting back into Sikhi. In future Guru Sahib will bless us with Gurmat Sojhi. But in the west at least, the generation of Sikh girls from the 80s till now has been the lost generations. That is when they all started demanding a "clean shaven jatt sikh boy" in matrimonial adds. And sadly in this case, demand increased supply. All our boys in the west began cutting their kess. 

 

And it has to be said, it was mainly Jattis who started this anti Gurmat demand. Khatri and Ramgaria girls were and still are largely ok with turbaned boys. 

Agreed, generally the khatris. Ramgarhias and bhatray are the communities that still have the highest rate of maintaining their kesh and dastaars/turbans.

As another poster noted maybe it us related to employment. All those 3 communities mentioned above are either business orientated communities,  traders or skilled craftsmen. They can generate their own employment or they have indemand skill sets. This is how Ramgarhias ended up in East Africa the British realised they could utilise their skill sets in their other colonies, for construction , engineering etc.

Jatts being generally unskilled and uneducated  in anything other than agriculture struggled for employment in the UK, they felt that had to cut their kesh in order to fit in and get jobs. A lot of them ended up doing manual labour intensive jobs like foundry work. Or became bus drivers.

But even in those communities khatri, Ramgarhia, Bhatray you have the issue of westernised Punjabi bimbos demanding clean shaven grooms. Even in India they use the term "cut surd" meaning clean shaven sardar.... contradiction at is best.

 

[MisterrSingh]

40 minutes ago, Cisco_Singh said:

Even in India they use the term "cut surd" meaning clean shaven sardar.... contradiction at is best.

 

Oh, is that what "cut surd" means! I thought they were struggling to pronounce "custard" for some reason. It makes sense now. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

3 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Very true.

Quick true story: Sikh girl hits 30, still isn't married. She practically decrepit by Punjabi standards. Admittedly, she's qualified in a prestigious field (medicine or legal, I can't recall), and the family want someone of comparable status. Girl's mother regales anyone that she encounters that she (the mother) won't settle for any Jatt munda because they just aren't educated enough these days. They spend years looking for the ideal Punjabi boy, but no luck, whilst constantly espousing the, "My daughter is too educated / She needs a similar status partner," mantra to all and sundry. 

A few years later, girl gets married, but remarkably it's to a Sikh guy that barely escaped secondary school with a handful of GCSE's. He's a coarse, what-you-see-is-what-you-get type. The girl's mother seems overjoyed. Oh, by the way, the guy's dad is a multi-millionaire, and his only son (and only child) is set to inherit it all eventually. 

Now that's sanjog. 

Doesn't our community have lots of doctors and lawyers though? Maybe it's subcontinent mentality of something. Also most of the Jatt diaspora aren't farmers, so they could've easily gotten someone to marry of the same standards. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

Not to be caste like or something, but the need to cut Kesh seems to be popular among all the communities in the diaspora. It really doesn't matter if it's a Brahmin, Khatri, Shudra, or Vaish, (according to Gurbani, all castes are destroyed), it's just the idea of fitting in with their peers. It doesn't really matter what caste you are, but rather the need for people to be able to connect with others and not seem different, (even though that's why Sikhs have a unique appearance to look different). Also lack of education in Gurmat.

[Ranjeet01]

11 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Doesn't our community have lots of doctors and lawyers though? Maybe it's subcontinent mentality of something. Also most of the Jatt diaspora aren't farmers, so they could've easily gotten someone to marry of the same standards. 

For diaspora Sikhs, there is less stigma marrying out of traditional caste, there is a new caste system taking place based on profession and income.

Women always marry up. A girl working in a supermarket earning 15k a year can marry a boy who works as a lawyer earning 80k a year. 

A girl who works as a lawyer earning 80k a year cannot marry a boy working in a supermarket earning 15k a year.

She will want some earning more than her.