Help marriage issue

[Guest Guest]

Here is another video relating to this topic.

Wish you the best, brother.

[gurvir101]

Thank you brothers and sisters for your help. I appreciate having such a wise and caring sangat to give me support in this situation. 

I am currently working up the courage to talk to my parents about the situation. My parents do not believe in the caste system but they will not want the girl to abandon her family and break a household. 

I believe we will visit her family and see if any talking can convince them. Maybe if she strongly enforces that she wants to marry me her family will come round.

I will keep you updated, and i'll include you all in my prayers thanking you for your help.

 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

1 hour ago, gurvir101 said:

Thank you brothers and sisters for your help. I appreciate having such a wise and caring sangat to give me support in this situation. 

I am currently working up the courage to talk to my parents about the situation. My parents do not believe in the caste system but they will not want the girl to abandon her family and break a household. 

I believe we will visit her family and see if any talking can convince them. Maybe if she strongly enforces that she wants to marry me her family will come round.

I will keep you updated, and i'll include you all in my prayers thanking you for your help.

You could mess with them and tell them you're the highest caste of Brahmin, (it doesn't really mean anything these days), and after you are married you could admit to being Chamar.

[Guest Please marry her bro]

Jacfsing2 bro, our brother Gurvir Singh is a GurSikh in soch+spirit.

Hence him and his cool parents should state nothing other.

Bhai Jiwan Singh Ji already proved to our Qaum along with countless other great Shaheeds that actions make us high or low rather than allegiance to false Hindu+Muslim bidaderi's.

Nawaz Sharif the Prime Minister of Pakistan is from the Brahmin caste as are most Kashmiri Muslim terrorists so I hardly think it will help Gurvir Singh to say that.

As for Jatts 80% of them are Muslim+Hindu just like Liaquat Ali Khan the first Prime Minister of Pakistan and Sajjan Kumar the famous killer of Sikhs in 1984.

 

[gurvir101]

On 01/04/2017 at 1:19 AM, Jacfsing2 said:

You could mess with them and tell them you're the highest caste of Brahmin, (it doesn't really mean anything these days), and after you are married you could admit to being Chamar.

I wouldn't want to lie to them, it does not set a good tone for the relationship! But that is a funny thought.

There are too many conflicted sikhs in the world, they are almost more punjabi than sikh. Castes is a punjabi thing not a sikh thing and people need to recognise the difference and affiliate themselves with sikhi rather than punjabi traditions.

In my opinion, within the next 2/3 generations i see the caste system dissolving as the youth become more educated and see the hypocrisy of being sikh and believing in castes. I see it a lot with my generation so hopefully it continues.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

8 minutes ago, gurvir101 said:

I wouldn't want to lie to them, it does not set a good tone for the relationship! But that is a funny thought.

There are too many conflicted sikhs in the world, they are almost more punjabi than sikh. Castes is a punjabi thing not a sikh thing and people need to recognise the difference and affiliate themselves with sikhi rather than punjabi traditions.

In my opinion, within the next 2/3 generations i see the caste system dissolving as the youth become more educated and see the hypocrisy of being sikh and believing in castes. I see it a lot with my generation so hopefully it continues.

According to Gurmat you wouldn't be lying: "

<> siqgur pRswid ] (1127-18)
ik-oa^Nkaar satgur parsaad.
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

jwiq kw grbu n krIAhu koeI ] (1127-19)
jaat kaa garab na karee-ahu ko-ee.
No one should be proud of his social class and status.

bRhmu ibMdy so bRwhmxu hoeI ]1] (1127-19)
barahm binday so baraahman ho-ee. ||1||
He alone is a Brahmin, who knows God. ||1||" Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Ang 1127

[simran345]

On 01/04/2017 at 1:19 AM, Jacfsing2 said:

You could mess with them and tell them you're the highest caste of Brahmin, (it doesn't really mean anything these days), and after you are married you could admit to being Chamar.

 

1 hour ago, Jacfsing2 said:

According to Gurmat you wouldn't be lying: "

<> siqgur pRswid ] (1127-18)
ik-oa^Nkaar satgur parsaad.
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

jwiq kw grbu n krIAhu koeI ] (1127-19)
jaat kaa garab na karee-ahu ko-ee.
No one should be proud of his social class and status.

bRhmu ibMdy so bRwhmxu hoeI ]1] (1127-19)
barahm binday so baraahman ho-ee. ||1||
He alone is a Brahmin, who knows God. ||1||" Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Ang 1127

@Jacfsing2 paji, this isn't wise to advice Gurvir ji to do by applying Gurbani to his situation by lieng. I understand what you are trying to say, of what Guruji words are, but advising OP to say he's so n so caste and then saying he's something else would worsen the situation. 

Gurvir ji, I would not suggest you lieing to the girl's parents, as then they will resent you for it and will have an excuse to not accept you as you are. Do the right thing and don't keep nothing from them and the rest is in God's hands. 

Good luck with it and hope it works out, and that caste does not be a barrier to your marriage. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

4 hours ago, simran345 said:

 

@Jacfsing2 paji, this isn't wise to advice Gurvir ji to do by applying Gurbani to his situation by lieng. I understand what you are trying to say, of what Guruji words are, but advising OP to say he's so n so caste and then saying he's something else would worsen the situation. 

Gurvir ji, I would not suggest you lieing to the girl's parents, as then they will resent you for it and will have an excuse to not accept you as you are. Do the right thing and don't keep nothing from them and the rest is in God's hands. 

Good luck with it and hope it works out, and that caste does not be a barrier to your marriage. 

What's a caste mean? If I wanted to marry some low-caste person, and I was higher caste, I wouldn't be making-up some excuses like, "My parents won't accept it" B.S. The problem is that his mate isn't even attempting to stand-up to the parents about this, and is just sitting away. Either they both stick together and stand-up together; or they break-up, (once they are married Gurbani says to view the spouse as like Vaheguru). But yeah, I wouldn't lie to my mate and be saying stuff like, "My parents don't like your caste, so I can't continue with this relationship", if they are Sikh parents they shouldn't be saying stuff like this. (Maybe I would never understand that as since according to some Brahminwaad caste system; they'd consider me one of the high castes and also since I'm a male?)

[simran345]

7 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

What's a caste mean? If I wanted to marry some low-caste person, and I was higher caste, I wouldn't be making-up some excuses like, "My parents won't accept it" B.S. The problem is that his mate isn't even attempting to stand-up to the parents about this, and is just sitting away. Either they both stick together and stand-up together; or they break-up, (once they are married Gurbani says to view the spouse as like Vaheguru). But yeah, I wouldn't lie to my mate and be saying stuff like, "My parents don't like your caste, so I can't continue with this relationship", if they are Sikh parents they shouldn't be saying stuff like this. (Maybe I would never understand that as since according to some Brahminwaad caste system; they'd consider me one of the high castes and also since I'm a male?)

You're right about one thing, you don't understand about lieing to them. What need is there to lie to them? He's done nothing wrong or to be ashamed of his caste, so why lie? That's like running away from the problems he's facing. Ok, the parents are wrong to be discriminating against caste, but he won't know properly until he tells them and what if they're ok with it. Unfortunately there are some parents who do stick by caste, but that doesn't mean to try and act clever and be like them does it? 

Say what you want, but you're still wrong by telling him to lie to his future in laws.  There's no need to, either they accept him as he is or they don't, but lieing to fit in is stupid. 

If he feels he needs to say anything, then I suggest he says, "no caste, as I don't believe in it". 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

23 minutes ago, simran345 said:

You're right about one thing, you don't understand about lieing to them. What need is there to lie to them? He's done nothing wrong or to be ashamed of his caste, so why lie? That's like running away from the problems he's facing. Ok, the parents are wrong to be discriminating against caste, but he won't know properly until he tells them and what if they're ok with it. Unfortunately there are some parents who do stick by caste, but that doesn't mean to try and act clever and be like them does it? 

Say what you want, but you're still wrong by telling him to lie to his future in laws.  There's no need to, either they accept him as he is or they don't, but lieing to fit in is stupid. 

If he feels he needs to say anything, then I suggest he says, "no caste, as I don't believe in it". 

I just don't see the girl standing-up to the parents; just the guy doing all the standing-up. But saying the whole, "no caste", would only escalate the situation especially if they want to marry into a particular caste.