How much are things in hukam eg marriage

[Guest Depressed]

I am married to a man who takes all his emotions out on me, he is always hostile and angry. When I met him he told me his family were the problem, but now I have realised it is him, he treats me how he treated them, just always being rude, not a supportive bone in his body. He doesn’t want to change and never feels guilty for me always crying. He loves to drink again doesn’t want to stop even if that makes him more moody too.

 

I wish I never married him, I feel so alone and stuck as I also have children. 
 

Everyone thinks he is really nice because I’m the emotional punchbag but no one sees this outside. 
 

I met him on a birthday party at a bar and dated him and I think to myself did I bring this upon myself and was I meant to go down a different path and marry someone else who would have lived a more Gursikh lifestyle. Marrying him has been the biggest regret, he has brought my sikhi down, now I am trying to not let him get in the way of it again even though he will complain when I get up for Amrit vela etc.

If I didnt have kids I would have divorced him a long time. I just feel so stuck. It’s either stick with it or be a single parent.

 

 

 

[Singh375]

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[Sat1]

On 6/11/2020 at 9:08 AM, Guest Depressed said:

I am married to a man who takes all his emotions out on me, he is always hostile and angry. When I met him he told me his family were the problem, but now I have realised it is him, he treats me how he treated them, just always being rude, not a supportive bone in his body. He doesn’t want to change and never feels guilty for me always crying. He loves to drink again doesn’t want to stop even if that makes him more moody too.

 

I wish I never married him, I feel so alone and stuck as I also have children. 
 

Everyone thinks he is really nice because I’m the emotional punchbag but no one sees this outside. 
 

I met him on a birthday party at a bar and dated him and I think to myself did I bring this upon myself and was I meant to go down a different path and marry someone else who would have lived a more Gursikh lifestyle. Marrying him has been the biggest regret, he has brought my sikhi down, now I am trying to not let him get in the way of it again even though he will complain when I get up for Amrit vela etc.

If I didnt have kids I would have divorced him a long time. I just feel so stuck. It’s either stick with it or be a single parent.

 

 

 

We dictate our own lives, your husbands choice to treat you badly is his choice and yours has been to stay with him thus far. Why don’t you speak to a therapist about it?

[GurjantGnostic]

13 minutes ago, Sat1 said:

We dictate our own lives, your husbands choice to treat you badly is his choice and yours has been to stay with him thus far. Why don’t you speak to a therapist about it?

What does Gurbani say about Hukam?

What does Gurbani say about who to speak to about your problems?

[GurjantGnostic]

[Guruguruji]

On 6/11/2020 at 9:08 AM, Guest Depressed said:

I am married to a man who takes all his emotions out on me, he is always hostile and angry. When I met him he told me his family were the problem, but now I have realised it is him, he treats me how he treated them, just always being rude, not a supportive bone in his body. He doesn’t want to change and never feels guilty for me always crying. He loves to drink again doesn’t want to stop even if that makes him more moody too.

 

I wish I never married him, I feel so alone and stuck as I also have children. 
 

Everyone thinks he is really nice because I’m the emotional punchbag but no one sees this outside. 
 

I met him on a birthday party at a bar and dated him and I think to myself did I bring this upon myself and was I meant to go down a different path and marry someone else who would have lived a more Gursikh lifestyle. Marrying him has been the biggest regret, he has brought my sikhi down, now I am trying to not let him get in the way of it again even though he will complain when I get up for Amrit vela etc.

If I didnt have kids I would have divorced him a long time. I just feel so stuck. It’s either stick with it or be a single parent.

 

 

 

I know a lot of people may disagree with me but I'm telling u the truth,  wake up at amritvela do sukhmani sahib followed by ardas. You'll see ur situation will begin changing. But the key is u must be positive and think positive thoughts.

Yes everyone has free will but in now a days we all heavily influenced by kalyug. Kalyug is always on our mind hence we have so much anger and hatred etc but if wake up at amritvela and spread positive energy early in the morning guru nanak dev ji protects us from kalyug. 

I'm really sorry that you're in this difficult situation, I'm in a very similar one and I'm doing exactly what I have explained. It is making a difference. I would really recommend you start this as soon as possible. Like you said if u leave you'll be stuck in a single parent situation but if u stay and do nothing you will still be unhappy. 

So if u want sukh do sukhmani sahib, spread positive energy and take control of your life. 

Best of luck sister. May God bless you 

[Guest Depressed]

Thank you for your replies. Will continue to do Ardas at Amrit vela as advised. 

Hopefully I will see a change, if not I’ll most likely go down the separation route and accept my fate was to not be together anymore. 

[Ranjeet01]

On 6/11/2020 at 9:08 AM, Guest Depressed said:

I am married to a man who takes all his emotions out on me, he is always hostile and angry. When I met him he told me his family were the problem, but now I have realised it is him, he treats me how he treated them, just always being rude, not a supportive bone in his body. He doesn’t want to change and never feels guilty for me always crying. He loves to drink again doesn’t want to stop even if that makes him more moody too.

 

I wish I never married him, I feel so alone and stuck as I also have children. 
 

Everyone thinks he is really nice because I’m the emotional punchbag but no one sees this outside. 
 

I met him on a birthday party at a bar and dated him and I think to myself did I bring this upon myself and was I meant to go down a different path and marry someone else who would have lived a more Gursikh lifestyle. Marrying him has been the biggest regret, he has brought my sikhi down, now I am trying to not let him get in the way of it again even though he will complain when I get up for Amrit vela etc.

If I didnt have kids I would have divorced him a long time. I just feel so stuck. It’s either stick with it or be a single parent.

 

 

 

Only he can change himself. 

He has issues and he needs counselling. He needs help.

He has pent anger and frustrations, probably from his childhood and he has them bottled up and they are now coming out.

He is a man, and does not emote like a woman nor can he open up about his feelings because it will look like weakness.