URGENT HELP NEEDED!

[Khalsa_starr]

WJKK WJKF!!

I have a really bad situation and i need the sangats help if anyone can do it.

Two days ago i received a very special package from s1ngh (user here) which contained most of the 5 k's. I was very happy to get these items because i don't know how to purchase them in small town vernon BC.

Anyways, i took it on myself to start wearing my kirpan, Kara. The Kanga i could not wear cause i don't know how to tie and wear my dastarr, nor the Kaccha cause i dont have it.

Back to my saying, i started wearing them the day i got the items. My mom being from another religion got quite offended by me wearing some of the k's. Me and her got into a little of a argument, i ended it, however not after being striped of my rights and given the notice that i might have to move cause of my kirpan and Kanga i was wearing!

It turned out that my mom gave me the option to stay IF i cut my hair off, dont read any sikh related books, don't wear any of the 5 k's, and not mention anything about my religion. I went away into my bedroom and thought that this was not right.

Of course i had to surrender my items to another sikh nearby or face being kicked out in a matter of days. This has made me somewhat ashamed and confused.

now what?

My question for the community here is: should i move away from my house? Or accept my moms rules of not showing my sikhi dress code?

I am very confused now, because i don't know very many sikhs here in Vernon BC Canada and how to contact any.

Can anyone help me contact someone who can give me advice?

Thank you.

WJKK WJKF!!

[Nidhi]

Sad to see that ur in this situation. Moving away from your parents is not a good idea for any part. Its better to elope... naihh kidding! Maybe u should wait for a while, carrying the Kirpan, and educate her (be that 2 months, 5, 9 months, etc) . It's pretty obvious that she dosn't know the meaning of it, although if she does she might not want u to get into trouble, whatsoever?

I suppose u have some rights as well, why dont u 2 compromise a bit and try to adjust to each other. Not only u have to adjust, but ur mom as well... convince her that ur not doing anything wrong. U have to take one step at a time, and be very careful and patient coz u might fall - have in mind that it might take a while. Start with the Kesh, and slowely move on. Another solution, u could get a smaller Kirpan and wear it under ur shirt. I assume that u wear a Turban, then how can she see the Kanga or the Kachera? Read all the books u want... she cant just throw u out of the house, coz of that!?! Gift her a book about Sikhism, or ask her if she wants u to read about Sikhism or A-magaizinez, or tell her u wrote something about Sikhi esp. for her and want her to read it- make her proud and get her involved- make an effort, etc. If she wont adjust or listen to u at all, u have to be a bit provocative, but to an extent.

See as for my part Im aware of the meaning of a Kirpan and its purpose, however I havnt started wearing it yet, coz I have a sligt idea that Im not mentally/physically strong enough to protect anyone with a Kirpan.

To start with, u have to ask urself this question (or maybe u already have)...

Plz be critical with my comments, this is nothing, Im sure Sangat can come up with a better advide and u'll get past this stage easily...

Keep it up!!

-dustofurfeet

[buddasingh]

Khalsa starr,

I think only you can ultimately come up with the answer of moving or accepting moms rules of not showing sikhi dress code. You may find that other sikhs are hesitant to advise you to leave your mom because we are taught to respect all people’s faiths. This means respecting you as to where you are on your path and as much as we’d welcome with open arms, and be inspired and happy, we also don’t believe in pushing people toward any faith, not even ours?/yours?.

If it was the child of someone born in a “sikh” family who was told to leave by parents because the child adopted the faith that his/her parents earlier abandoned, I would say leave because the parents should know better. However, your mom somewhat understandably may not understand. This does not make her views right.

If you feel you have reached a point as a sikh that you are a sikh and there is no looking back, then that fact may contain your answer. However, if you are still exploring then you might choose otherwise. If it was me, I would sacrifice just about anything before I sacrifice my sikhi (or what I have of it). I think you will find the same of many sikhs.

Only you know best the relationship between you and your mom, and the relationship between you and your faith. What does your gut tell you? If you are most worried about a place to stay, then that might be a sign that you will be O.K. However if you are most worried about the relationship with your mom then that is a more sensitive issue.

Regardless of your decision, I would not get angry with your mother. I would also respect her for what she has given you. Keep in mind, and you may wish to relay to your mother, the fact that you are independent and fell in love with faith that promotes such progressive values is in part because of the way your mother has raised you. (I am guessing we are talking about a mother that has raised you as opposed to a mother who came in your life later).

Also if you feel you have no choice but to move, ensure that you are frank with your mother and do tell her. She may be worried that you are going through a phase and that you are her little child who she spent much of her life teaching things to. If she realizes that you are grown up and are making intelligent choices that you are committed to she may have a change of heart.

What is your gut feeling? What do you want to do?

Do you have access to free counseling in Vernon? Through school? I would be careful of biased counselors; that is biased in any which way… there are many counselors out there who need counseling. If you feel the counselor is not good, then change. If you get a good one, they will facilitate your thoughts so you make your own decisions.

[sskhalsa]

jau qau pRym Kylx kw cwau ]jo tho praem khaelun kaa chaao

If you desire to play this game of love with Me,

isru Dir qlI glI myrI Awau ]

sir dhar thulee gulee maeree aao

then step onto My Path with your head in hand.

iequ mwrig pYru DrIjY ]

eith maarag pair dhureejai

When you place your feet on this Path,

isru dIjY kwix n kIjY ]20]

sir dheejai kaan n keejai

give Me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion. ||20||

AMg 913

ang 913

Page 913

rwmklI mhlw 5 ]raamukulee mehulaa 5

Raamkalee, Fifth Mehl:

kwhU ibhwvY rMg rs rUp ]

kaahoo bihaavai rung rus roop

Some pass their lives enjoying pleasures and beauty.

kwhU ibhwvY mwie bwp pUq ]

kaahoo bihaavai maae baap pooth

Some pass their lives with their mothers, fathers and children.

kwhU ibhwvY rwj imlK vwpwrw ]

kaahoo bihaavai raaj milukh vaapaaraa

Some pass their lives in power, estates and trade.

sMq ibhwvY hir nwm ADwrw ]1]

sunth bihaavai har naam adhaaraa

The Saints pass their lives with the support of the Lord's Name. ||1||

rcnw swcu bnI ]

ruchunaa saach bunee

The world is the creation of the True Lord.

sB kw eyku DnI ]1] rhwau ]

subh kaa eaek dhunee

He alone is the Master of all. ||1||Pause||

kwhU ibhwvY byd Aru bwid ]

kaahoo bihaavai baedh ar baadh

Some pass their lives in arguments and debates about scriptures.

kwhU ibhwvY rsnw swid ]

kaahoo bihaavai rusunaa saadh

Some pass their lives tasting flavors.

kwhU ibhwvY lpit sMig nwrI ]

kaahoo bihaavai lupatt sung naaree

Some pass their lives attached to women.

sMq rcy kyvl nwm murwrI ]2]

sunth ruchae kaevul naam muraaree

The Saints are absorbed only in the Name of the Lord. ||2||

kwhU ibhwvY Kylq jUAw ]

kaahoo bihaavai khaeluth jooaa

Some pass their lives gambling.

kwhU ibhwvY AmlI hUAw ]

kaahoo bihaavai amulee hooaa

Some pass their lives getting drunk.

kwhU ibhwvY pr drb cuorwey ]

kaahoo bihaavai pur dhurub chuoraaeae

Some pass their lives stealing the property of others.

hir jn ibhwvY nwm iDAwey ]3]

har jun bihaavai naam dhiaaeae

The humble servants of the Lord pass their lives meditating on the Naam. ||3||

kwhU ibhwvY jog qp pUjw ]

kaahoo bihaavai jog thup poojaa

Some pass their lives in Yoga, strict meditation, worship and adoration.

kwhU rog sog BrmIjw ]

kaahoo rog sog bhurumeejaa

Some, in sickness, sorrow and doubt.

kwhU pvn Dwr jwq ibhwey ]

kaahoo puvun dhaar jaath bihaaeae

Some pass their lives practicing control of the breath.

sMq ibhwvY kIrqnu gwey ]4]

sunth bihaavai keeruthun gaaeae

The Saints pass their lives singing the Kirtan of the Lord's Praises. ||4||

kwhU ibhwvY idnu rYin cwlq ]

kaahoo bihaavai dhin rain chaaluth

Some pass their lives walking day and night.

kwhU ibhwvY so ipVu mwlq ]

kaahoo bihaavai so pirr maaluth

Some pass their lives on the fields of battle.

kwhU ibhwvY bwl pVwvq ]

kaahoo bihaavai baal purraavuth

Some pass their lives teaching children.

sMq ibhwvY hir jsu gwvq ]5]

sunth bihaavai har jus gaavuth

The Saints pass their lives singing the Lord's Praise. ||5||

kwhU ibhwvY nt nwitk inrqy ]

kaahoo bihaavai nutt naattik niruthae

Some pass their lives as actors, acting and dancing.

kwhU ibhwvY jIAwieh ihrqy ]

kaahoo bihaavai jeeaaeih hiruthae

Some pass their lives taking the lives of others.

kwhU ibhwvY rwj mih frqy ]

kaahoo bihaavai raaj mehi dduruthae

Some pass their lives ruling by intimidation.

sMq ibhwvY hir jsu krqy ]6]

sunth bihaavai har jus kuruthae

The Saints pass their lives chanting the Lord's Praises. ||6||

kwhU ibhwvY mqw msUriq ]

kaahoo bihaavai muthaa musoorath

Some pass their lives counseling and giving advice.

kwhU ibhwvY syvw jrUriq ]

kaahoo bihaavai saevaa juroorath

Some pass their lives forced to serve others.

kwhU ibhwvY soDq jIvq ]

kaahoo bihaavai sodhuth jeevuth

Some pass their lives exploring life's mysteries.

sMq ibhwvY hir rsu pIvq ]7]

sunth bihaavai har rus peevuth

The Saints pass their lives drinking in the sublime essence of the Lord. ||7||

ijqu ko lwieAw iqq hI lgwnw ]

jith ko laaeiaa thith hee lugaanaa

As the Lord attaches us, so we are attached.

nw ko mUVu nhI ko isAwnw ]

naa ko moorr nehee ko siaanaa

No one is foolish, and no one is wise.

kir ikrpw ijsu dyvY nwau ] nwnk qw kY bil bil jwau ]8]3]

kar kirupaa jis dhaevai naao

Nanak is a sacrifice, a sacrifice to those who are blessed by His Grace to receive His Name. ||8||3||

do what u feel is right....but remember Guru Jee

[MrT]

Go to ur local Gurdwara...im sure you'll find the answer there.

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

my choice wud be to move out, my guru and god are more important than any1 else

[Princess]

Your local Gurudwara won't hesitate to help you out.

Guru Ji is always with you and everything will work out.

The suggestions before me were great and i won't bore and repeat them, but they're worth reading hope they help :TH:

[Jaspaul Singh]

... ill try to advice to the best i can ...

... first i would urge you to try to convince your mom .. .that ok i will obey you .. i wont waer the 5 K's but please dont tell me to cut my hair ... than at least you wont be breaking anything rite ?

... second ... try to keep learning about sikhi on your own ... meat i dont think is a problems cuz jevioh witnesses dont eat meat if im rite (i just had a long talk wit one today at nagar kirtan ...)

... third... by not wearing your 5 K's now is not a big deal... for now ... why ... cuz you still havea lot of time to learn more and more and.. learn bani ... learn about more history... learn how a sikhi lifestyle is ... and at the same time ... try to talk to your mom ...

... i was talkin to one person today who was a jevioh witness and she pointed a quote from the bible at me that ... we shouldnt attack anyone else for preaching their religion.. as it is the way to god still (something on those lines i cant remember)...

... she told me how bible has a lot of great equality quotes in their also maybe if you want to use those against her try to talk to her that your not doing anything wrong... and to just listen to you and let you follow a path what you believe is right...

so first try to not get in any more arguments wit her just convince her that you luv her and you dont want to upset her but dont tell me to cut my hair ... rite? like work something out.. she told u to cut one thing u tell her to agree to one thing ... vice versa...

... i hope that works...

bhul chuk maph...

[smartsingh24]

i'm wit sskhalsa.....even if he did jack half of my signature

[UntitledSingh]

WJKK

WJKF

I believe that you should not have abandoned your K's NO MATTER WHAT. Have you taken Amrit? If not, and you think you are ready, then I think that you should go do the ceremony, because the 5 ks and Amrit go together.

All I can tell you is that the Sikhs choose death/torture instead of dropping their faith. Even in the darkest days the Khalsa sword never stoped shinning.

Make sure that your mom knows that you will not abandon your faith NO MATTER WHAT, then let her make a decision.

WJKK

WJKF!!!