What Should U Say to someone who asks you out?

[Jaspaul Singh]

sant mat ji ..

plzz do not say something like that again.. you may not know but what you said to bhenji (eventhough you DO NOT know the complete details of her scenerio) is not cool .. it can have a very bad effect on bibian ..

dude.. we guys are like that.. i know since i wasnt amritdhari all my life.. we guys need to learn as well .. and yes sometimes its neutral and both sides, and one side doesnt wana admit it ..

BUT..

u dun know bhenji and for u to say that .. not good :D

[Bad Girl]

if a girl asked u out???

no need 2 think twice

hehehehe kiddin

[singh_sandhu]

i have a question and i dont wana offend anybody but i figured since a lot of bhan jis and bha jis use this forum that maybe i'll get some good insight...

ok here it goes:

what should you say to someone who asks you out??are you supposed to throw the whole religious thing at them...but how do you do that without sounding too weird?? what if it's someone that's not in your religion and they have no clue what u're talking about?? or are there any other ways to say no without ruining the relationship and making the other person feel bad/hurting their feelings?

tell me what u guys think.

Well Penji,

If a boyz asking 1 out then the girl shud say, sorry PAAJEE but I dont feel that way,

If a girl's asking 1 out then the boy shid say, sorry PENJEE but I dont feel that way,

Trust ! After callin them Paaji or Penjee they shud get the message by then, well i hope anyways

[SSM]

Sant mat, sometimes you may be asked out by someone without giving that person the idea that you liked that person.

Boy meets world comes to mind.

Sometimes a person is only being friendly to the girl and she has got the wrong idea and that's not his fault.

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

no offense but... for a guy to like you, you probably gave him a slight idea of a future with you...thats how guys think so your partly to blame! sorry sounds harsh but its true. Sikhs shouldnt get too close to the opposite sex because it can cause problems like people having crushes on each other.

Anyway tell the guy straight...DO ONE!..IM NOT INTERESTED!

because if you make a silly excuse up hes gonna think your playing hard to get so just drop it to him straight!!!!!!

dude, who said i wasnt gonna say no??do pple even read the damn posts?? i am not close to him but it's a social relationship in which we have to be....i'll give u an example...lets say u play on a coed team and some guy on it asks u out(assuming u didnt pick the teams)...u have to be somewhat close to him but obviously not for the wrong reasons...this isn't my situation but im giving u anexample of the type of situation, thanks for everybody else's thought-out responses..sant mat obviously aint got the rite mat..

[singh_sandhu]

no offense but... for a guy to like you, you probably gave him a slight idea of a future with you...thats how guys think so your partly to blame! sorry sounds harsh but its true. Sikhs shouldnt get too close to the opposite sex because it can cause problems like people having crushes on each other.

Anyway tell the guy straight...DO ONE!..IM NOT INTERESTED!

because if you make a silly excuse up hes gonna think your playing hard to get so just drop it to him straight!!!!!!

dude, who said i wasnt gonna say no??do pple even read the damn posts?? i am not close to him but it's a social relationship in which we have to be....i'll give u an example...lets say u play on a coed team and some guy on it asks u out(assuming u didnt pick the teams)...u have to be somewhat close to him but obviously not for the wrong reasons...this isn't my situation but im giving u anexample of the type of situation, thanks for everybody else's thought-out responses..sant mat obviously aint got the rite mat..

Yeh i get wat u mean penji.

Just say u a really nice friend/person or wateva yeh but u mainly see him as a brother. END OV...he shud get the point

[Guest Papi]

I have been following this thread for a few days now and some of the things being said are just plain assumptions and nothing else.

first off, if i were to ask a girl out it wouldn't be because i wanna "get it on" with her. i would do it because i wanna get to know her better in the hope of having a future together. and thats all theres to it. ofcouse you cant be doing that when you are in high school or something. i'm 22, done my degree and am working fulltime and yes i would tell my parents and that i'm "dating" this girl (my parents would be ok with it now that i'm done my degree) and i'd expect her to tell her parents as well. so it wouldnt be all sneaky and stuff.

with guru's kirpa i'm amritdhari and so i would never "date" a non-amritdhari girl either.

i'm jus going to play devi's advocate here with some of the posts:

- 4RR: "Think of the person as someone who obviously has no respect for you". uhh excuse me, the only reason i would ask someone out is because i really do respect them and would like to see if theres a future together.

- HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz: "...i'm no barbie that u play with and throw away-hell no". refer to the answer above.

- HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz: "any guy that asks me in the first place i have no respect 4 either cuz he can go up to anyone and ask, i'd see him as a jig..i lose respect for him" . you just wait till you start liking some guy then we'll see how you respect yourself for it. and it will happen because you think that it will never happen to you thats y.

- LKaur: "Say my dad decides who i marry so i have no intentions of seeing anyone. (Dad=Guru)" ok. fair enough. have you ever thought that guru might have sent the guy in the first place because guru is always the doer. especially if the guy is amritdhari and has love for sikhi.

and now let the bashing being. hehe. i know i hit some nerves in this post.

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

I have been following this thread for a few days now and some of the things being said are just plain assumptions and nothing else.

first off, if i were to ask a girl out it wouldn't be because i wanna "get it on" with her. i would do it because i wanna get to know her better in the hope of having a future together. and thats all theres to it. ofcouse you cant be doing that when you are in high school or something. i'm 22, done my degree and am working fulltime and yes i would tell my parents and that i'm "dating" this girl (my parents would be ok with it now that i'm done my degree) and i'd expect her to tell her parents as well. so it wouldnt be all sneaky and stuff.

with guru's kirpa i'm amritdhari and so i would never "date" a non-amritdhari girl either.

i'm jus going to play devi's advocate here with some of the posts:

- 4RR: "Think of the person as someone who obviously has no respect for you". uhh excuse me, the only reason i would ask someone out is because i really do respect them and would like to see if theres a future together.

- HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz: "...i'm no barbie that u play with and throw away-hell no". refer to the answer above.

- HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz: "any guy that asks me in the first place i have no respect 4 either cuz he can go up to anyone and ask, i'd see him as a jig..i lose respect for him" . you just wait till you start liking some guy then we'll see how you respect yourself for it. and it will happen because you think that it will never happen to you thats y.

- LKaur: "Say my dad decides who i marry so i have no intentions of seeing anyone. (Dad=Guru)" ok. fair enough. have you ever thought that guru might have sent the guy in the first place because guru is always the doer. especially if the guy is amritdhari and has love for sikhi.

and now let the bashing being. hehe. i know i hit some nerves in this post.

bhaji who ever said this person isnt attractive??? i might like sum1 but i like our Guru ji more...and hopefully Guru ji will continue to give me the strength to control myself......i'm around ur age too so i could say yes but i decide not to...i want to keep it in the hands of Guru jiand hopefully i will stay that way

[curious_man]

i feel tht ..no sant wud give NAAM..

Panj Pyare wud give us NAAM!!

[Guest Papi]

bhaji who ever said this person isnt attractive??? i might like sum1 but i like our Guru ji more...and hopefully Guru ji will continue to give me the strength to control myself......i'm around ur age too so i could say yes but i decide not to...i want to keep it in the hands of Guru jiand hopefully i will stay that way

ok so, you like him too? if you like him n he likes you, then wats the problem. get the parents involved.

I wasnt talking about the guy not being attractive,,looks fade away pretty fast. as long as the guy is heathy it should be ok,, you should be looking for values. all i'm saying is that if a amritdhari (a guy with sikhi values) is interested and the family is nice there is no harm in checking it out. now, you might want to get your parents involved thats upto you.

if someone asked me out, my first question would be something along the lines of, whats the possibility of this going all the way?. i dont want no fling on the side type of thing.

i know people will tell you o this is a test, guru wants to see if you'll say yes. ok fine it might be, but also, wat if its an opportunity. look at both sides of the coin before you make a decision.

instead of just saying no you could say something like "if you are really interested then tell your parents to talk to my parents and if they agree then i'll go out with you" saying that will weed out the ones that are looking to just "get it on".