Moh

[Guest Guest]

ok so, i've read pretty much all of posts regarding this kind of stuff....but here i go still

So, i kinda cant stop thinking about this girl (not in a bad way or nething). so when it first happend i tried to become friends with her at uni n stuff....but then later on i realized i shouldnt be doing any of that....so now for a last 3 months or so i've been trying to NOT think about her.

a while back, i broke any and all contact with her without telling her anything in the hope that this is just a "phase" and it'll blow over any day if i stop seeing her. but so far i have had no luck at all. in fact its gotten worse. there are times where i cant do any work because its too distracting.

now, yes i have done ardaas, i do more paath than before, i do more simran than before tooooo...but nothing is working!!!!!

even tho nobody knows me on SS, the reason this is in the gupt section is i know she visits SS as well....so without giving away too much info........is there anything i can do to stop this??? i mean 4 months is a long time for a "phase" to blow over....its starting to take its toll on me both physically and mentally....

i've left out a few details so nobody can figure out who i am or who she is....or more so she cant figure who i am i guess..

btw, i'm not in high school or nething.......lets just say that most older generation folks think i should get married soon....

what are sangats thoughts regarding this??

Its sounds like unrequited love. If she is on this forum, most probably she is a Sikh.

Question: Are you a Sikh?

If both of you are Sikhs then just ask your parents to speak to her parents for her hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pheena]

All those who are suggesting next time he sees her he should take a thaalee of Ladoos in his hand need to slow down.

There is a mountain of difference in infatuation and the state where one can consider another for marriage.

He needs to define in which state his mind is in.

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

waheguru ji kakhalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

[Guest Guest]

the only reason i said "the older people.." thing was because i didnt wanto give away my age. THATS ALL. i never said i'm thinking of making a move,,,,calm down buddy. n yes i do keep myself busy, work during day, gurudwara in the evening.

i agree, i see lots of girls everyday...but i dont get "stuck" on any of em.....I never have before. the only reason i posted here is to see wat sangat thinks about this kinda stuff....thats all.....

and i have left her alone....

PS i'm not a dropout, I'm done uni....as i said before working fulltime now.

hahaha funny man

at the end you stick in the "most older folks think i should get married"

so what do u want ppl to tell you; what you want to hear or the truth?

You say

-----

.but then later on i realized i shouldnt be doing any of that....so now for a last 3 months or so i've been trying to NOT think about her.

-----

then what now makes u think you should go and make a move? You shouldn't be doing any of that either. So, keep ur self occupied with other things, do seva at gurdwara, keep ur self busy, study for uni, etc and get her out of ur mind.

I dont believe this, people need to control themselves. You say its your Moh and then you ask if u should go with it or not. Obviously not. lots of girls will come, what will you do? Ask on sikhsangat everytime. The way you put "old folks want me marreid" tells me you mgiht be young , and might be getting married in a few years, and you make it sound like if thats a excuse that makes it ok for you to go after the girl. No it's not.

you should leave the penji alone, and worry about your own things.

Also you said u met her at uni or something then later in the post your like your not in high school or anything, sounds ot me either you didnt even go to uni or high school and your some drop out, or you're confused trying ot be someone else here.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa

Vaheguru ji ke fatheh

[Guest Guest]

Veerji,,,thats the thing. i dont know what i'm seeking from her. this happened outta nowhere. didnt see it coming. didnt know her at all when it happened. in fact i didnt even know her name back then.....just woke up one morning and it was there.....

What exactly are you seeking from her?

[Guest Guest]

yes it is unrequited......she is amritdhari n so am i....

but, u know its not that simple.....

Its sounds like unrequited love. If she is on this forum, most probably she is a Sikh.

Question: Are you a Sikh?

If both of you are Sikhs then just ask your parents to speak to her parents for her hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Guest]

i agree, it probably is just infatuation.....i would hate it if one of theses days i realized that this is just physical.....

talking about kaam....is she pretty? yes, a lot of people think that actually...like is said before, i dont think of her in that way at all. this one time the thought sorta came to me n i got really really disgusted by it. now, i have been through high school age with the raging hormones n everything and my eyes have done their share of "looking around". not a single one got "stuck". somehow something inside me keeps saying, this one is different. maybe its just my mind playing games with me or maybe its not. I DUNNO. i've been trying to figure this out for over 3 months now.....n i know once i figure that out i'll know what to do.

All those who are suggesting next time he sees her he should take a thaalee of Ladoos in his hand need to slow down.

There is a mountain of difference in infatuation and the state where one can consider another for marriage.

He needs to define in which state his mind is in.

[Guest Guest]

yes mind is a very powerfull thing. i now know that....

i never realized this before because before i would just listen to my mind n do what it would tell me. now that i'm trying to fight it, i realize how hard it is and also why guruji has given so much respect n pyaar to people who try to fight their mind....so far for me its a losing battle.....

my mind did convince me before but then somehow with guru's kirpa, i managed to come out of it but then it convinced me again....n i came out of it again.....n thats how it goes... i have my gud days n i sure do have my bad days.

all i know that i'm suppose to learn something from this...maybe this whole thing is trying to teach me not to listen to my mind so i can become a better sikh. if this is the case, then until i become a better sikh n stop listening to my mind, this will not go away.

mind is very powerful! if it convincez u that shez the one for u...boy u in trouble(an;t i talkin like 14 yrs old :D ) u gota have some fun with the young ones especially when ur lil bro and sis are jus confused about something STUPID!

waheguru ji kakhalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!

[Guest Guest]

i dont think of anyone as a "sister". lemme explain. i keep my eyes to myself. so i dont seee neone. n so there is no need for me to tell my mind, oye ki karda, she's my sister kinda thing. i hope that made sense.

well.....woah.....LOL....can u even say that....that u go ahead and tell da girl u wanna marry her??? :lol: @ :D .....veerji....i mean...so like....do you want to fell this way about her cuz like da way you tokin i mean marraige....then maybe like geh to know her more then and so both of you sikhs and all then it's cool i guess and u say wen ye tink bout her u dun tink uv her in a "bad way" so wenever u do tink uv her always know that she is ur sister hana?or do ye tink or are u scared bout da thought that kaam will take over.... well you've done ardas and simran hana....all i can say is....KEEP DOING ARDAS AND SIMRN...lol....really....when doin ardas ask guru sahib why this is happenin and wha should u do and guru sahib fa help!!...vaheguru ..guru sahib will help you...dun worry! :TH:

bhul chuk muaf

Gurfateh

[Guest Papi]

to the people who saying marry her

marraige cant be one sided. both sides have to have interest.....just because some guy wants to marry some girl, doesnt mean girls opinion should be ignored....n it doenst look like he wants to marry her atleast from what i got from the post.

but then again, if it was mutual this thread would have never started....quite the dilemma.