Harrassment Towards Panjees Even In Gurdwaras And By Close Family Members

[killah]

For some reason I find this story hard to believe.

Talk about bad luck or what but its too far fetched.. no offence

On the internet, you never can tell if something is fake or not, but you'd have to have no life and be pretty pathetic to make something like this up. I wouldn't be surprised if it was made up, though.

Yup exactly, some ppl have no lives they will make up anything to draw attention to false stories without evidence. It's a shame really cos we as Sikhs should not believe in rumours but seek the truth and if someone is gulity and the testimony is true they shud provide evidence for making such damning allegations against ppl. Yet ppl who have agendas 's come on this site and post things knowing its all false just shift attention somewhere else.

Like some girls, will suprising make up false rape allegations up, which is comparable to the act of rape itself. Because it demeans the real rape victims and destroies the lives of ppl who were falsely implicated in rumours and allegations.

[killah]

But netherless whether this story is true or not, if a panji is harressed she should report it to trusted person in community and the accused can be monitored and dealt with its simple as that. Theres no shame in outing the pakandi's from the faith. It's your right and duty to do so, thats wot my view is anyways.

[singhni84]

Some general stuff:

1) When replying to topics of a sensitive nature like this, people (Khalsaforce) need to be careful not to out information about the poster which she herself has not disclosed (ie. location). It's not fair to her when she's had the courage to write in the first place and has made the choice to share whatever details she wanted to share. Fear of people finding out more than what one WANTS people to know is one of the leading reasons for why so few victims of this type of assault ever speak up about it. I realize it was probably an innocent slip, but it can be detrimental to no end so please be careful and mindful of people’s privacy.

2) Questioning the authenticity of the poster is beyond idiotic. Do people REALLY doubt that this happens?? Wake up already. For how many years have bibian been claiming that things happened? When will you believe? Honestly, sometimes I think each and every one of us has to experience it first-hand before we believe one another. Sad.

Anyways...

Bhain Jee (original poster), I believe you and whether you believe it or not, you're not alone. It's good that you have friends you can lean on for support. That's important. But it's not everything. Most women in your position feel a sense of lost power and control. A good way to address that feeling is to act against it, do something about it. It’s in your hands to take control of the situation now. From what I’ve seen, keeping this “within the community” won’t be very productive. Sure, they’ll be ousted from their positions and outed in the community, but along the way to that outcome, you’ll face a lot of what you’ve faced here – doubt. People won’t believe. They don’t want to believe.

As scary as it may seem, taking it to the police is the wisest thing you could do. These people who violated you are criminals. They can be dealt with through the community, but will be better dealt with by authorities because authorities know how to take care of you in the process as well. The perpetrators of these crimes against you need to be locked up and kept away from children and vulnerable victims. Once the police have a record of these guys, it can help prevent this from happening to countless others.

There’s a lot of help available, to look after you and your needs. Your guilt is one thing that definately needs to go. If you’re in the Toronto area, you can determine what you need and find it yourself from this site: www.211Toronto.ca. It’s a community service directory where you’ll find what you’re looking for, if you’re looking, that is.

I work at Riverdale Immigrant Women’s Centre and volunteer in various women’s centres in and around the GTA, so if you are in Ontario or the general Toronto area, you can contact me for direct service (counselling, etc.), or I can refer you to a different service of your choice. Let me know and I’ll provide you with my contact info. You may already know who I am, in which case, drop me a line and I’ll do whatever I can.

[Guest peacemaker]

2) Questioning the authenticity of the poster is beyond idiotic. Do people REALLY doubt that this happens?? Wake up already. For how many years have bibian been claiming that things happened? When will you believe? Honestly, sometimes I think each and every one of us has to experience it first-hand before we believe one another. Sad.

Bhainji,

If this is directed at me, I'm deeply sorry, but another poster brought up a point and I was just basically giving him an "FYI on the internet". However, I certainly do believe that this stuff happens, and have personally met some girls and even boys who it has happened to. I don't even think it is limited to just girls as some people may think.

Women can also be predators and victims, too, just like men can also be predators and victims, as well. I am very open minded about this stuff, and am even thinking of teaching some defense classes to PUT a stop to this at once.

That's why I said give the guy, if it's a guy, a low blow and run as fast as YOU CAN and scream.

Also, I have a good sense in gurdwara if a gyani is doing something bad and looking at a kid in a way that I find to be wrong, and I will usually ask the gyani if everything is ok. Basically a warning, if it doesn't stop, I will have a talk to the parents and bring the gyani in as well. I don't care if he is amritdhari, does a lot of seva and kirtan, NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE, can be excused!

WJKK WJKF

[singhni84]

Bhainji,

If this is directed at me, I'm deeply sorry, but another poster brought up a point and I was just basically giving him an "FYI on the internet". However, I certainly do believe that this stuff happens, and have personally met some girls and even boys who it has happened to. I don't even think it is limited to just girls as some people may think.

It wasn't directed at you. I agree largely with what you've written.

[Guest guilty]

For some reason I find this story hard to believe.

Talk about bad luck or what but its too far fetched.. no offence

On the internet, you never can tell if something is fake or not, but you'd have to have no life and be pretty pathetic to make something like this up. I wouldn't be surprised if it was made up, though.

The reason for you to not believe in what I have written is because you do not wish to believe it. Even I kept wishing for this nightmare to end. I kept asking myself to wake up from it; But no. It is not a nightmare. Have the strength to understand my feelings, so that you can help our sisters out there.

bhanjee,

where did these things take place? do you have names?? u can pm me...

dont let these ph&*kers live their lives as if nothing happened, they gota pay bak, so plz give more info..........

CANADA????!!! bhanjee plzzzz telll, tell us who they are so nobody else has to suffer...plz tell us, id otn know what more to say...pm us or w/v but just do it! stay strong and get something done about it,plz

I have already told trusted friends of mine. They are helping me. Please sangat ji, do not ask me to tell you who it is. The main reason for me to post what has happened in the past, is so that it will not happen to others. What is done, is done. I have people helping me, so please do not ask me to let you know who it is.

I do not know the people's names. Only my relatives. The others, I do not. One thing is certain; If I see them, I will be able to recognize them.

Please,, focus on helping other sisters out there. I am already recieving help.

Dear 'guilty',

Which country are you in and where did this happen?

There is something about being "under age" and you should report this the police and to the Gurdwara committee or a Sikh youth committee or call a Sikh helpline.

I am amazed that your amritdhari mother did not do anything after you told her.

To tell the truth, as you have posted this in Gupt, I am just wondering whether your story is true and if you are just a 'anti Sikh trouble maker' creating waves in a Sikh forum.

But if are sincere and in the late teens then you should do as mentioned above.

I respect those of you who are suggesting me to bring this out further, and to do something about it. I donnot wish to go into any further detail about where it happened, nor "who" or "when". I will not take this to the police, nor to the urdwara committee, nor to a Sikh youth committee. If I were to do that, I would not have posted here in gupt.

I already have a few people helping me, and God bless them.

You're questioning me for posting in gupt. Sangat ji, what do you expect? You don't think that a girl would announce who she is to the public, do you? Try to look at this issue further. How do people in our society look at these things? Our people make sure that one little incident is known by all. So that would be the end of my privacy. My father is also known by Singhs around my area, and he is involved in seva with Singhs world-wide. Therefore, it would not be okay for me to tell people who I am. Please be more sensitive when it comes to this. I asked you to at least try to understand, but clearly you do not. Guru kipra kare. No girl would let this out into public.

You have doubts because of the fact that I have posted in gupt. I am not here to create waves in a Sikh forum. Do you honestly think this post has caused some problems? I posted this so that it will save others. I am here to ask the sangat to make sure other sisters aware of this, so that it will not happen to them. I just want them to be stronger than I am, so that they can help themselves, and others out there.

As I had mentioned in the post:

I am not asking for anyone to feel sympathetic towards me. I simply ask for all of you to understand the pain that I, and other people out there, have felt.

_____________________

With respect, I humbly ask you all, to help other sisters out there to grow strong, to have their chins up, to stick up for their individual selves. Be strong, and help others feel the strength.

That is all I am asking for. For the message to be let out, for that will save my other sisters. That is my one and only humble request. I am thinking of helping other sisters of ours out there in the future. Right now, I must work on my own strength, otherwise I will not be able to help others.

Thank you all for your replies.

[Sewadar]

There have been numurous threads about harrasement to singhnis. Keeping this in view, we have setup a new webpage from where singhnis can send anonymous information. They will not need to reveal their identities. This webpage is located at http://alert.sikhsangat.com

Anyone from UK, Canada, India, USA and other countries can send us the tip of anykind. Our teams will try to investigate the case and prevent any future happenings of the simmilar kind. You don't have to worry about your identity or your name being brought up, this form is totaly confidential. The initial steps will be read and taken care by a team of singhnies.

Admin

[_(JI)_]

omdayzzzzz ina gurdwara?!?! by singhs?!?!?! dats rong man...tut tut!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

to the original poster:

bhanji i am happy to see that u have told ppl, thas all i wanted for u to do, we all got ur message loud and clear, and we'll all stay onour guard, no matta we at the gurdwara or wut...plz feel free to pm me any time if u ever feel the need, it might be easier to discuss with a bhanji and i will keep it gupt. good luck with everything, u r truly blessed.

thx for sharing...

[killah]

Dear 'guilty',

Which country are you in and where did this happen?

There is something about being "under age" and you should report this the police and to the Gurdwara committee or a Sikh youth committee or call a Sikh helpline.

I am amazed that your amritdhari mother did not do anything after you told her.

To tell the truth, as you have posted this in Gupt, I am just wondering whether your story is true and if you are just a 'anti Sikh trouble maker' creating waves in a Sikh forum.

But if are sincere and in the late teens then you should do as mentioned above.

I agree 100%

I've read the story 4 times now and still I find it extraodinary and bizzare. I mean a case of sexual hassesment once or twice would be believable but 4 or more times by different individuals I mean either she is the un-luckiest girl in the world or this is yet another attempt by evil minded invidiuals to create sensetionalist nonsense in the guise of creating awareness when their actual agenda is to hate on sikhs or create suspicion/fear against a specific gender.

Either way why would anyone go into such details and depth's with this story on a public reliigious forum.... @ some foolish ppl on the forum are so naive and gullable in the extreme for falling for such stories when theirs no shred of evidence and everyone is quick to jump on the bandwagon without anyalsis of the story and facts.