Bhatri Sikh

[Guest British Bhatra Elder]

I'm from nottingham. And have to go to my friends house regularly to access this website so sorry didnt reply back to the suggestions my brothers and sisters gave. I've tried to get my friends family involved in this matter but cannot get anywhere as we are different castes my paretns think my friends family are just out of their brains etc... and dont know about any traditions which I found hard. I would like to say that my friend and her sisters are regular sikhsangat users but however would like to keep them anonymous too.

The freshy boy from india that my parents that are going to get me engaged to is someone from the south of england.

I cant express myself to my parents. Like I said I got my friend and her sisters involved in this and my parents wont agree to them.

I've totally lost hope now.

SSA Bhatri Sikh,

1. Is the "Freshy" from INDIA or South of England Like Southampton??

2. If he is a Yardvicey (Freshy) you may be able to Control/educate/modernise him?

Give me a mobile no or landline where I can ring you and give REAL Bhatra advice

SSA

British Bhatra Elder

Mod Note to members : Please do not give your phone number out to anyone on the internet.

[Guest British Bhat Elder]

cant you guys understand what she said..

she has made it clear that she IS GETTING MARRIED .. AT A AGE OF 15 .. AND SHE HAS NO OTHER CHOICE!!!!

if you all think thats cool, then wow.. i personally think that is just WRONG.. if all else fails, seek advice or get out.. unless you can stand the fact that you will be spending the rest of ur life with someone you dun know and maybe will be forced into a lot of things (ie. giving up your sikhi, no college/uni, forced chores, etx..).. I cant even imagine the pain you mite be going through but this is completely wrong what your parents are doing, and i hope you make the rite decision!

this is a very bad tradition thats coming down in our families where the parents dun give a crap about their girls but when it comes to the boys, it has to be the 'right' thing to do! no difference from killing of babies once they find out its a girl.. throwing away your girl at young ages just the same thing .. i bet theres always something they looking for in these things like family connections, money and they use girls to accomplish this with others .. reli sad..

SSA Jaspaul

Firstly why the second half of your name should be spelt like the Jesus' disciple "Paul" rather than the Panjabi "Pal" meaning Nuture, foster or protect see this link http://www.sikhwomen.com/SikhNames/p.htm

Secondly READ what she has written.... She said she wa GETTING ENGAGED at the age of fifteen.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ADVICE then LISTEN to the PROBLEM.

Incorrect understanding can Lead to incorrect advice

SSA

British Bhat Elder (University of Cambridge Graduate)

[Guest British Bhat Elder]

I'm from nottingham. And have to go to my friends house regularly to access this website so sorry didnt reply back to the suggestions my brothers and sisters gave. I've tried to get my friends family involved in this matter but cannot get anywhere as we are different castes my paretns think my friends family are just out of their brains etc... and dont know about any traditions which I found hard. I would like to say that my friend and her sisters are regular sikhsangat users but however would like to keep them anonymous too.

The freshy boy from india that my parents that are going to get me engaged to is someone from the south of england.

I cant express myself to my parents. Like I said I got my friend and her sisters involved in this and my parents wont agree to them.

I've totally lost hope now.

SSA

spoke with someone who has been studying this for many years and came to the conclusion that guru is trying to say that if you cant even respect your mother and father like you would your guru, then how can you ever learn to show repsect for your guru. if you know how to love and respect your parents, only then can you learn to love and respect your guru

Respecting ur parents is alot UNLESS THEY ABUSE THEIR RIGHT

LETS TALK

British Bhat Elder (Roudh)

[Heera Singh]

she gonn be gettin engaged against her will... what part of that dun you understand? by her nah wantin to get engaged, how is that DISRESPECTING her parents?

y'all need ta know and REALIZE that nobody should be forced to do somethin drastic like this against their wishes... you wann talk bout our Guru's?.. our Guru's spoke out against oppression... how is this different?

by readin the lass few posts, it seems like they statin to jus accept it, and try to 'look at the bright side'... it don't matter who the guy is or where he from... tha's nah the point... whether she gettin engaged or married at the age of 15, tha's nah the direct point either... i's that she's gettin FORCED into it AGAINST her wishes... so YOU need to listen to tha problem too.. i nah know wha the point of you sayin to contact you for real 'bhatra' advice.... from the looks like it, the 'bhatra' mentality is wha got her into this situation to begin wit...

[heart]

agreed. ITS AGAINST HER WILL, ITS HER CHOICE ESSENTIALLY.

ARE YOU 15 AND BEING ASKED FOR MARRIAGE?

PUT YOUR SELVES IN HER SHOES FOR A MINNUTE.

[Jaspaul Singh]

cant you guys understand what she said..

she has made it clear that she IS GETTING MARRIED .. AT A AGE OF 15 .. AND SHE HAS NO OTHER CHOICE!!!!

if you all think thats cool, then wow.. i personally think that is just WRONG.. if all else fails, seek advice or get out.. unless you can stand the fact that you will be spending the rest of ur life with someone you dun know and maybe will be forced into a lot of things (ie. giving up your sikhi, no college/uni, forced chores, etx..).. I cant even imagine the pain you mite be going through but this is completely wrong what your parents are doing, and i hope you make the rite decision!

this is a very bad tradition thats coming down in our families where the parents dun give a crap about their girls but when it comes to the boys, it has to be the 'right' thing to do! no difference from killing of babies once they find out its a girl.. throwing away your girl at young ages just the same thing .. i bet theres always something they looking for in these things like family connections, money and they use girls to accomplish this with others .. reli sad..

SSA Jaspaul

Firstly why the second half of your name should be spelt like the Jesus' disciple "Paul" rather than the Panjabi "Pal" meaning Nuture, foster or protect see this link http://www.sikhwomen.com/SikhNames/p.htm

Secondly READ what she has written.... She said she wa GETTING ENGAGED at the age of fifteen.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ADVICE then LISTEN to the PROBLEM.

Incorrect understanding can Lead to incorrect advice

SSA

British Bhat Elder (University of Cambridge Graduate)

Vaaahegurooo ji ka khalsa, Vaaahegurooo ji ki fatehhh veerji

this is the proper greeting of sikhs to other sikhs so next time please do say guru gobind singh jis fateh :wub:

also would be proper if you rather not use CASTE in your names to identify yourself, as this is also AGAINST SIKHI!

oppression is one of the main things our gurus were against. this is not different from what in the past our sisters were put through against their will, this is jsut around that whole idea.

How is this any different then killing your sister NOW or her suffering everyday of her life ..through this marriage that she is being forced into!

And im sorry veerji, i did read carefully what she said. She mentioned she is getting engaged at this age.. and she WILL be married off forcefully whether she likes it or not, so how is my advice not valid ??? I only said that if shes been put through something and if she can live with that through her whole life then do it BUT ITS ON SIKHI!!!!

Our sisters are equal to us males, if guru nanak dev ji, guru gobind singh ji went against corropted hindu/islam ritual beliefs (which their families were into) why cant our sisters do that same?? cuz they are girls ????

Veerji, i know your older, i know what you may have to say to her would be good advice. But sometimes its the most hard choices to be the right ones.

This is like her parents are throwing her away no different then what happens in india where parents throw their girls away to rich dalaals for money..when their girls are at young ages such as 15-18. NO DIFFERENCE!

bhul chukaa maaph

[Guest Bhatri Sikh]

I'm from nottingham. And have to go to my friends house regularly to access this website so sorry didnt reply back to the suggestions my brothers and sisters gave. I've tried to get my friends family involved in this matter but cannot get anywhere as we are different castes my paretns think my friends family are just out of their brains etc... and dont know about any traditions which I found hard. I would like to say that my friend and her sisters are regular sikhsangat users but however would like to keep them anonymous too.

The freshy boy from india that my parents that are going to get me engaged to is someone from the south of england.

I cant express myself to my parents. Like I said I got my friend and her sisters involved in this and my parents wont agree to them.

I've totally lost hope now.

SSA Bhatri Sikh,

1. Is the "Freshy" from INDIA or South of England Like Southampton??

2. If he is a Yardvicey (Freshy) you may be able to Control/educate/modernise him?

Give me a mobile no or landline where I can ring you and give REAL Bhatra advice

SSA

British Bhatra Elder

Mod Note to members : Please do not give your phone number out to anyone on the internet.

I just heard my mum saying the boy is from india but lives in south of england under a visitors pass i think it is so he will have to go back to India once the pass runs out, I dont know specific what city.

But I dont really care where hes from the fact is I just dont want to get engaged this young.

British Bhatra Elder I appreciate your suggestions but you should know it isnt easy to give you a contact number where we can talk, my parents woudlnt take it in a way that your trying to help me they'll go mad if they know its a boy ringing home. Its not easy but I do appreciate you helping.

[Guest Guest]

I'm from nottingham. And have to go to my friends house regularly to access this website so sorry didnt reply back to the suggestions my brothers and sisters gave. I've tried to get my friends family involved in this matter but cannot get anywhere as we are different castes my paretns think my friends family are just out of their brains etc... and dont know about any traditions which I found hard. I would like to say that my friend and her sisters are regular sikhsangat users but however would like to keep them anonymous too.

The freshy boy from india that my parents that are going to get me engaged to is someone from the south of england.

I cant express myself to my parents. Like I said I got my friend and her sisters involved in this and my parents wont agree to them.

I've totally lost hope now.

SSA

spoke with someone who has been studying this for many years and came to the conclusion that guru is trying to say that if you cant even respect your mother and father like you would your guru, then how can you ever learn to show repsect for your guru. if you know how to love and respect your parents, only then can you learn to love and respect your guru

Respecting ur parents is alot UNLESS THEY ABUSE THEIR RIGHT

LETS TALK

British Bhat Elder (Roudh)

I dont get what you actually mean here but I do respect my parents, I've done everything they've said, they told me to cook clean the house, so I've done so, they get me to do other things, I do.

But now they want me to go and get engaged and marry someone i hardly know,

they want me to stop my education when i've hardly completed my GCSE's

I'm sick and tired of living in such a society where they think young girls need to learn how to cook clean the house rather than educate themselves. They're too worried about their reputation in the outside world. WHY ???

I'm sorry but I cant take that. I do want to do something about it. I dont know what but I do want to do something to stop them. I'm sick and tired of my parents saying "YOUR sisters were engaged at this age so are you going to be now"

[Guest Bhatri Sikh]

I'm from nottingham. And have to go to my friends house regularly to access this website so sorry didnt reply back to the suggestions my brothers and sisters gave. I've tried to get my friends family involved in this matter but cannot get anywhere as we are different castes my paretns think my friends family are just out of their brains etc... and dont know about any traditions which I found hard. I would like to say that my friend and her sisters are regular sikhsangat users but however would like to keep them anonymous too.

The freshy boy from india that my parents that are going to get me engaged to is someone from the south of england.

I cant express myself to my parents. Like I said I got my friend and her sisters involved in this and my parents wont agree to them.

I've totally lost hope now.

SSA

spoke with someone who has been studying this for many years and came to the conclusion that guru is trying to say that if you cant even respect your mother and father like you would your guru, then how can you ever learn to show repsect for your guru. if you know how to love and respect your parents, only then can you learn to love and respect your guru

Respecting ur parents is alot UNLESS THEY ABUSE THEIR RIGHT

LETS TALK

British Bhat Elder (Roudh)

I dont get what you actually mean here but I do respect my parents, I've done everything they've said, they told me to cook clean the house, so I've done so, they get me to do other things, I do.

But now they want me to go and get engaged and marry someone i hardly know,

they want me to stop my education when i've hardly completed my GCSE's

I'm sick and tired of living in such a society where they think young girls need to learn how to cook clean the house rather than educate themselves. They're too worried about their reputation in the outside world. WHY ???

I'm sorry but I cant take that. I do want to do something about it. I dont know what but I do want to do something to stop them. I'm sick and tired of my parents saying "YOUR sisters were engaged at this age so are you going to be now"

[Guest Guest]

she gonn be gettin engaged against her will... what part of that dun you understand? by her nah wantin to get engaged, how is that DISRESPECTING her parents?

y'all need ta know and REALIZE that nobody should be forced to do somethin drastic like this against their wishes... you wann talk bout our Guru's?.. our Guru's spoke out against oppression... how is this different?

by readin the lass few posts, it seems like they statin to jus accept it, and try to 'look at the bright side'... it don't matter who the guy is or where he from... tha's nah the point... whether she gettin engaged or married at the age of 15, tha's nah the direct point either... i's that she's gettin FORCED into it AGAINST her wishes... so YOU need to listen to tha problem too.. i nah know wha the point of you sayin to contact you for real 'bhatra' advice.... from the looks like it, the 'bhatra' mentality is wha got her into this situation to begin wit...

THANKYOU !

Someone who actualy knows whats going through me.

contact you for real 'bhatra' advice

British Bhatra Elder as I've said before. Think about it yourself would you really think I'll be able to contact you? N I dont want no bhatra advice, Coz I know what it's going to be. All I want is to educate myself.

How likely is it for me as a bhatri girl getting married then I ask my sas that can i study? she'll slap me across my face then n there and get me to do all the housework.

How likely is it that she'll let me go university????