Marriage

[Guest Papi]

WOW *plays the 'applaud' track on his mp3 player*

[Punjabi_Link]

Punjabi Link I hope this answers your question. How we choose to dress ourselves (mini skirt vs trousers) how we speak (slang vs Queens English) and many other things such as our walk reflects our inner thoughts. Imagine if your female lecturer came to university dressed in a playboy bunny dress. She then proceeds to tell you about 50 cents video explaining how pimpin is degrading women etc but then you wonder why she never dresses properly. Likewise mona ppl will tell u amazing things but u wonder why they are not singhs. You see they are not two separate entities.

Not true at all. What about the young kids who have parents choosing their children what to wear and what kind of music they should be listening to etc...? Also living in a certain environment does affect a person's way of thinking etc... We are not that free as what you're making it out to be.

As for your example, I find it to be extreme and irreverent. You're acting like being a mona is the biggest and degrading sin out there, which isn't true at all.

Punjabi Link what you have noted refers to people starting off by developing their outer first. I started off like this and then I developed my inner and then outer etc. You have to allow for people to be in different stages. Some are going to be in outers and others in the inner. But the thing is at least singhs will say yes inner is importantly as well as outer. Mona however will never say outer is important. The difference probably because you never understood the importance of kesh. Both should co-exist together!

I personally know "singhs" who claim that keeping kesh alone is enough to be Sikh and internal aspect of sikhi (praying) is useless.

I have discusses with amritdharis on some website that claim they're guaranteed that they'll merge with "waheguru" because they took amrit.

I have met monay who are fully aware how important kesh is.

So I don't understand why you claim all group of people think the same way here.

Some people might start from outer first, and then work inner part of sikhi while others starts from inner, then work on the outer later on. This I agree with.

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

Just one more kaurs (girls perspective),

Numerous other girls would say this one thing just as I am about to ( sorry if this sounds offensive)

I would rather marry a Real Man >>>> :e: (and not >>>> :devil: )

Guru sahibs kesh and Saroop is BeautiFul

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe guru ji ki fateh

Real Men are judge based on their actions, not their looks.

umm

isn't keepin ur kesh an action lol (goin against all odds and keepin the kesh)

Not really because there are "singhs" who don't act like "singhs" at all. Looks can be deceiving.

yes looks can be deceiving. im not disagree with that. im just saying that when i see a singh or singhni what i see is that there is something in them thats making them keep their kesh.

[rimmel]

.

[Guest Guest]

is it harder for guys who keep beard and turban to find a partner than mone guys.........im worried :sady:

alot of guys ive seen who keep beard and turban give it up to find a partner................which makes me more worried

i have to admit i am young and never been with a woman and this situation is kind of making me scared that i wont a wife and i now get thoughts of maybe getting cutting my hair the usual thought i supposeetc.

do women who keep hair have these same worries as guys like me?

WaheguruJeeKaaKhalsa WaheguruJeeKeeFateh!! _/|\_

I think some people can be superficial and see the physical to be representative of the inner. Some people think that outer apperances are important enough to judge a person's personality and character.

Personally i feel that we should be who we want to be and forget about what other people want us to be. If you are happy with keeping your Kesh and realise the importance why change to what you think someone else wants.

Paaji i dont think you should worry to much.Be easy on yourself. Just be yourself, and if someone does not like you for who you are, then they are not worth it

Accept yourself, and then others will accept you. Simple as that.

This is the key. Life is only what you make it and if you try to make it what others want and not what you want then things turn into an emotional struggle within yourself that you dont need.

Beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.

To me outside appearance is just that a outside appearance, its natural to judge someone based on there outer appearance when you first meet them. After all thats the only thing you 'know' about them, but the longer I know somebody the more there personality starts to be important.

No matter what you look like, beauty and youth are fleeting. Lasting relationships must be built on something more. There will come a day when my you and your wife are both old and wrinkly, no matter what you looked like before.

Like some previous posters have said, be yourself, be confident , jap naam and leave the rest to God. :TH:

WaheguruJeeKaaKhalsa WaheguruJeeKeeFateh!! _/|\_

Bhul Chuck Maaf

[proud_to_be_singhni]

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe guru ji ki fateh,

with out deterring from the subject the initial poster gave, to panjabi link poster. I have a feeling you let personal contacts with singhs etc get in the way what you truly feel about sikhi. Lets not put down anyone in to sikhi but applaud those who at least are trying to follow their guru, ie. keeping kesh.

Everyone has their fault, but everyone needs to move Forward to get somewhere.

Lets not let our personal experiences interfere with the message of and uniform of sikhi and Waheguru.

Dhan Guru Dhan Guru Pyare

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe Guru ji ki fateh

[Punjabi_Link]

sitargirl,

Have you ever stopped and read the tone of what you have written...what is not true...I chose those examples for a reason because your trying to say what you are on the outside does not reflect your inner. Lemme use a more subtle example. If you meet a dr who tells you that smoking is bad and will kill you and then you see that same dr puffing away....you know that they do not have understanding....instead they just told you what they knew. There is a difference between knowing and understanding. If the dr understood what he was saying to the patient would he not also stop smoking??

I've met people like this aswell....like I said their is difference between knowing something and actually understanding. Once you understand you will apply that knowledge...until a mona applies that knowledge they are not fully understanding it.

Yes, you're right about those two words having different meaning from each other. Let's see what our good friend dictionary state what "knowing" and "understanding" means.

Knowing:

1 : to have knowledge

2 : to be or become cognizant -- sometimes used interjectionally with you especially as a filler in informal speech

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/knowing

Understanding:

1 : to have understanding : have the power of comprehension

2 : to achieve a grasp of the nature, significance, or explanation of something

3 : to believe or infer something to be the case

4 : to show a sympathetic or tolerant attitude toward something

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/Understanding

Understanding = taking action for the good?

Point being that just because someone understand something doesn't mean he/she would apply it through his/her "action".

My arguement is that both inner and outer go hand in hand. I made these points because you seem to think that if you have an inner it is okay to cut your hair. An inner is never complete with an outer. This is because an outer acts out what the inner believes. I have not once said that being a mona is a sin because like I wrote everyone is in different stages. Likewise I never said having an outer only is a sin. All I have said is that both must be developed together. You have to stop assumping things and allow for people to be either working on outer or working on inner.

So if one person doesn't believe in keeping kesh, but wears a turban due to family and peer pressure, then how can you say his/her outer self reflects on his/her inner self? Like I said before, looks can be deceiving.

Also another thing I have been reading your posts over the last few months and you seem to have internal anger against any singh who asks you why you do not keep your kesh? I've noted that this question causes you offence. I think you should ask yourself why are you getting up tight about it?

You need to read my posts more carefully. I never got angry when someone asks me why I don't wear a turban. I got angry when "singhs" were dissing "monay" on these boards. If you take the time to read what some "singhs" said about "monay" and then read my posts, you will understand why I made such comments. My anger was more directed at them. I do admit that some of the things I said in the past were harsh and disrespectful and I already apologize for some of the comments I made on these boards before.

When you proposed your question that some singhs do not do this and others not that - I accepted because I believe both should exist together. I did not say your examples of the singhs you know are extreme. Lemme be frank with you - in the 21years of my life I have to still meet a singh who has no values whatsoever. Maybe your internal hate towards singhs causes you to be critical of every singh's move...you seem to not be allowing for people to make mistakes...Learning and making mistakes is part of their development just like every other normal persons.

You should make this comment towards your fellow brothers and sisters who dissed my people (monay). All my comments I made regarding this issue was part of getting back at your fellow brothers and sisters who were making very offensive comments towards my people on these boards.

I actually agree that no one is perfect and that people are going to make mistakes. I have been saying this a long time now. You can look up my old posts if you don't believe me.

Also please tell me what you are not free to do? You seem to have the knowledge to know what you should be doing...

You're not truly free until you experience everything. Example, living in certain environment (violent neighborhood) can shape up how a person deals with certain situations and what they believe in. It is not like people choose to be violent or aggressive, but do so because that's how they grew up in and that's how they learn to deal with conflicts. Also I like to point out that certain nations don't believe in freedom like how we do here in the west.

What has their journey got anything to do with yours? Like I said everyone goes through different stages. I've asked why we pray...I'm sure some Mona question praying aswell...why are you getting caught up in other people's journey and using them as an excuse to hinder yours.

Once again, if you actually took the time to read my posts in the past, you would've know that I don't even judge people like that. In fact, I said, do what you want, but do around judging me on this board. If you like, I will re-post that comment here.

Also I like to say that I actually AGREE with you on this part. Like Tupac said, "Only God Can Judge Me". LOL

[Punjabi_Link]

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe guru ji ki fateh,

with out deterring from the subject the initial poster gave, to panjabi link poster. I have a feeling you let personal contacts with singhs etc get in the way what you truly feel about sikhi. Lets not put down anyone in to sikhi but applaud those who at least are trying to follow their guru, ie. keeping kesh.

Everyone has their fault, but everyone needs to move Forward to get somewhere.

Lets not let our personal experiences interfere with the message of and uniform of sikhi and Waheguru.

Dhan Guru Dhan Guru Pyare

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe Guru ji ki fateh

I will not put others down if they don't put me down first. If they don't go around talking crap about my people, then I wouldn't go around talking crap about "singhs".

EYE FOR EYE.

BLOOD FOR BLOOD.

That's how I roll. :devil:

[Punjabi_Link]

Just one more kaurs (girls perspective),

Numerous other girls would say this one thing just as I am about to ( sorry if this sounds offensive)

I would rather marry a Real Man >>>> :e: (and not >>>> :devil: )

Guru sahibs kesh and Saroop is BeautiFul

Wahe guru ji ka khalsa Wahe guru ji ki fateh

Real Men are judge based on their actions, not their looks.

umm

isn't keepin ur kesh an action lol (goin against all odds and keepin the kesh)

Not really because there are "singhs" who don't act like "singhs" at all. Looks can be deceiving.

yes looks can be deceiving. im not disagree with that. im just saying that when i see a singh or singhni what i see is that there is something in them thats making them keep their kesh.

Fair enough.

[Guest jap naam]

is it harder for guys who keep beard and turban to find a partner than mone guys.........im worried :sady:

alot of guys ive seen who keep beard and turban give it up to find a partner................which makes me more worried

i have to admit i am young and never been with a woman and this situation is kind of making me scared that i wont a wife and i now get thoughts of maybe getting cutting my hair the usual thought i supposeetc.

do women who keep hair have these same worries as guys like me?

WaheguruJeeKaaKhalsa WaheguruJeeKeeFateh!! _/|\_

I think some people can be superficial and see the physical to be representative of the inner. Some people think that outer apperances are important enough to judge a person's personality and character.

Personally i feel that we should be who we want to be and forget about what other people want us to be. If you are happy with keeping your Kesh and realise the importance why change to what you think someone else wants. Why compromise your Sikhi?

Paaji i dont think you should worry to much.Be easy on yourself. Just be yourself, and if someone does not like you for who you are, then they are not worth it

Accept yourself, and then others will accept you. Simple as that.

This is the key. Life is only what you make it and if you try to make it what others want and not what you want then things turn into an emotional struggle within yourself that you dont need.

Beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.

To me outside appearance is just that a outside appearance, its natural to judge someone based on there outer appearance when you first meet them. After all thats the only thing you 'know' about them, but the longer I know somebody the more there personality starts to be important.

No matter what you look like, beauty and youth are fleeting. Lasting relationships must be built on something more. There will come a day when you and your wife are both old and wrinkly, no matter what you looked like before.

Like some previous posters have said, be yourself, be confident , jap naam and leave the rest to God.

WaheguruJeeKaaKhalsa WaheguruJeeKeeFateh!! _/|\_

Bhul Chuck Maaf