Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female

[Guest Akirtghan]

so there's three women stranded on an island. One of them finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. (No, that's not the punch line.) The genie says, "I will grant you three wishes, and since there are three of you, you each get one wish."

The first woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 10 times smarter than I am right now." And, she builds a ship and sails back home.

So then the next woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 100 times smarter than I am right now." And again, she builds a plane and flies back home.

The third woman says to herself, "Ha! This is EASY!" She turns to the genie and says, "I would like to be 1000 times smarter than I am right now!" And, the genie turns her into a man.

[Guest Akirtghan]

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

[Guest Akirtghan]

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended. Semper Fi, Marine!

BAHAHAHAH, good job GENERAL :lol:

[JustME]

so there's three women stranded on an island. One of them finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. (No, that's not the punch line.) The genie says, "I will grant you three wishes, and since there are three of you, you each get one wish."

The first woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 10 times smarter than I am right now." And, she builds a ship and sails back home.

So then the next woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 100 times smarter than I am right now." And again, she builds a plane and flies back home.

The third woman says to herself, "Ha! This is EASY!" She turns to the genie and says, "I would like to be 1000 times smarter than I am right now!" And, the genie turns her into a man.

OMG u just copied mine and changed it aroud..........................MEN .........lol

[۹βkaur۹β]

:lol:

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory

Why are men like commercials?

You can't believe a word they say.

:|

hehehehehehheehehehehehe nice one sis cmon lets hurry up and finshing wiping the floors with these "bandeh" :lol:

When Surinder's recieved a proposed marriage from her next door neighbours chacha's, tiya's, sisters, brother in law she said: "I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband.

My mates husband is so stupid, when they were handing out brains he thought they said trains, so he asked for a slow one.

BANDA veerjee NO I DIDNT REPLACE IT!!!! i simply copied and pasted it in..................aaaaaaaw dont be too down cos u cant keep up :lol:

loll penjee we will WIN

[Guest Akirtghan]

A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

1) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

2) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

3) The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.

4) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

5) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

6) Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

7) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen fatty .... do it and die."

8) I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day

[Guest Akirtghan]

so there's three women stranded on an island. One of them finds a magic lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. (No, that's not the punch line.) The genie says, "I will grant you three wishes, and since there are three of you, you each get one wish."

The first woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 10 times smarter than I am right now." And, she builds a ship and sails back home.

So then the next woman says to the genie, "I would like to be 100 times smarter than I am right now." And again, she builds a plane and flies back home.

The third woman says to herself, "Ha! This is EASY!" She turns to the genie and says, "I would like to be 1000 times smarter than I am right now!" And, the genie turns her into a man.

OMG u just copied mine and changed it aroud..........................MEN .........lol

i'm sorry, i have a life so i dont read every single joke here. women

[Guest Akirtghan]

BEING A GUY IS TOPS BECAUSE...

Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said...

You don't give a crap if someone doesn't notice your new haircut. :lol:

Wrinkles add character.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. :|

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group. :lol:

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. :lol:

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hour without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

If another bloke shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. :D

[Guest Akirtghan]

ADAM WAS LONELY

Adam said he was feeling lonely and asked God for company.

"I was thinking of making you a woman," said God.

"What is a woman?" asked Adam.

"Nearly a man, only curvier," said God, "and also sweet, caring and loving and at your beck and call. She will be an inspiration to you."

"Gosh," said Adam, "how much will that cost?"

"An arm and a leg," said God.

"What could I get for a rib?" asked Adam.

ok for this one we'll assume the christian theory of creation is correct

[Guest Akirtghan]

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -- Dolly Parton

PS. dolly parton is blonde :lol: