Wearing A Turban Has Ruined My Life

[Guest Guest]

The title says it all really. I cant stop wearing it, because my hair started falling out when I was younger from it being tied tight....and have ugly bumps on my scalp from the hair being twisted.

I have had numerous discussions with my parents asking why they didnt let me cut my hair when I was younger, but they are ignorant about life and the negative effect it has on my life. I see girls going off with clean shaven guys all the time. Im an intelligent and honest guy but my turban and beard alienates me. Added to that Im not religious so feel fake, I have no option but to keep wearing a turban.

It has killed me everyday looking in the mirror and seeing such hair loss, when the rest of my hair healthy. Why did this happen to me? It happened because I was a Sikh, and in turn I have become more distant from Sikhism and more towards spirituality. Noticing the beauty of life and being free to do whatever you want, without following rules of your religion.

I shave and trime my beard, smoke and drink and I wear a turban-because I have no choice, does that make me a bad person? I feel like another person wearing a turban.....I didnt come into this world wearing one, I came into it with HAIR! if hair was given to me by god, and god is within each of us, its the individuals chose to do whatever he wants.

I dont have a sense of identity, because I am not my past or my future. I am this moment, I am not my thinking but the consiousness that is behind it....the stillness. I am at peace and free of pain, but do not wish to have external symbols identifying me to something. The turban and being forced to identify with a religion before I could decide has created alot of disharmony.

3 of my friends in high school cut their hair and are leading more happier and fufilled lives, yet I am tied to always wearing a turban or cap when I go out, I wish I could do the same, but I'm forced to endure this nightmare.

why do admins and mods allow such insulting posts? i thought they were moderated.

this person could be a monah taking the mick

[Guest ???]

Paaji,

I can slightly see where you're coming from cos i went through something with some parallels. When i was 14, I wore my turban, i hated having it, i was from a religous family, every1 told me y i shud wear it, but i didnt really understand y.

i wanted a haircut, told my parents and was actualy very close 2 getting 1.

anyway 2 stop this going on 2 much, now im 20, ive taken amrit and i love my religion and my hair and my dastar 2 bits, i love everything it represents.

wat changed in me, was i began 2 understand wat that dastaar means, its a crown. do u no wat dastaar means, it means 10 fingers, ie both of guru jis hands on ur head protecting u.

did u no that the only people who used 2 wear turbans and keep their kesh in guru jis time used to be the kings, so here were our gurus saying, to low caste depressed people, who were treated badly, that u can become kings and be uplifted.

then understand how much fighting and how many lives have been given so that we can wear it now. hear this katha by sukha singh on it from this site.....http://sikhstudent.moonfruit.com/kirtan/4520519868 go 2 the youth darbaar kirtan from 2005 for holla mahalla, and hear the talk by him and sodhi singh, itll take u an hour. its a talk for kids i guarantee u it will blow ur mind away.

the best cure for this is 2 understand y u keep it. find out everything u can about why us sikhs wear turbans, how its meant 2 make us stand our, so that as gianni maskeen says, we can stand out as lighthouses for those in trouble.

do everything u can to understand, if u still dont wana keep it then deal with it then. imagine if u got 2 the end of ur life and only found out wat it meant then, havin wasted ur life??

dont let that happen, uv worn it this long u mite as well find out y hunna!

something changed in me, 2 badly wanting a haircut, 2 feeling so warm inside everytime i see a proper gursikh who wears their turban or crown or dastaar with pride.

its neva too late. it was wen i read this book on guru gobind by daulat rai, that i began 2 understand wat it meant.

good luck, and do an ardas and take a hukumnama from mahraj, thatl help immmensely.

[buddasingh]

Anyone else recall this as a repeated post here?

[Medallion Stallion]

i kinda used to feel like that about my tuban and hair/beard then i had to make a decision whether i want to remain a sikh or not in December 2006 - i decided to remain a sikh im no longer in two minds about this issue and am more happy now. to the original poster i dont know if this is a fake post or not BUT you have to make a decision of whether you want to cut your hair or not btw i think you're sister is a total hypocrite she is against it but wants her son to cut his hair how the hell does that work.

[Guest Guest]

Dear Friend;

The things happened to you are really not good, but how do cutting your hairs give you peace, the truth is you will be engulfed more in the evils of this world. A sikh is respected by almost all wise men. But its irony we are always looking for the other side. Tell me on a thing if incidents as your happen with a Hindu will he convert to other religion?

I am only a small person, just can share my thoughts. But just try to go to Gurudwara and Our Guru can't be wrong just start to read bani even one Page per day, is it too much too ask.

The life is very short, see we have already lived one fourth of it. Time is not asking for sikhs to fight or die, but can we not just keep out traditions. Just think about Nine years old Sahibzadaa he did not accept order of Muslims and give his life. They are real ideals. Whenever a sikh cuts his hairs, he is ....

i am not able to express in words.

We should do ardass that our Guru can give you Peace and show you the right path to follow.

Waheguru jee da khalsa|

Waheguru jee dee fateh||

[Guest .]

wow im truly saddend. i had to fight my parents for them to let me wear a dastaar and here you are saying it has ruined your life.

[JustME]

lol........well heres my two cents...............

from a female perspective........................gonna share summat but i hope this is genuine and it helps............a dear friend of mine................had lovely long hair................she hit her teens and decided to cut it all off without a seconds thought....................then she started losing it.....i mean big chunks just fell out..............she hated it....................hated God for putting her throught this...............people used to look at her funny and laugh at her.....................but then it started to grow back.............lovely dark long and beautiful...............then she realised...............the mistake she had made by cutting it.............and now cherishes and hasnt cut it over a yr..........

moral: you never know and appreciate what u have until its gone...............ur kesh is a gift from God and sometimes we have to go through emotional jouneys to see the jewel hidden under the rubble, cherish it my brother

[Guest Guest]

when i first started tying my dastar i used to have it really tight, so tight...i used to get major head aches (jokingly i used to call them 'pagh aches'...lol), even though it killed but it looked slick so i kept it tight. Eventually it started getting serious and i began getting on the vurge of blacking out, so in public, i used to find myself going to the toilet and tipping my head upside down to allow blood to rush to my head...but hey the pagh looked sikk.

anyhoo, i started getting more religious and started going to diwaans but i couldn't concentrate at all because the pagh was toooo tight, i would be fiddling with it...eventually i found a compromise of wearing a loose yet neat dastar.

What are the consequences of having my dastar so tight? ...even though my dastar is loose now, my head is mashup, i still get headaches but nothing like how it was b4.

Would i ever cut my hair or remove my dastar? no way. I have brought my own karam into this world ontop i have created more in this life on my own. I must live with my headahces.

Soemtime i think my life is hard because of the headaches but when i look round at the world, there's SO much suffering, my problems are insignificant. Fair enough...the headaches still distract me in the diwaans but not as much as before but one thing i know for sure is...

...I can live with my headaches but NOT without my Guru!

God bless

All the best paji

Vaheguru

[Guest Guest]

IF this is a fake post

then thank you!

reading this should make us remember the own trials and tribulations we went through growing up as sardars, facing the oppression and bullying of the other kids in our classes.

But we were strong enough to get through it! remember your victories, no matter how small. YOU survived, and if this story is a fake, let it at least remind you that, yes, YOU are strong enough to take on anything faith-related...if you can withstand 10 years of bullying about your looks and your religion from other kids, you can pretty much handle anything.

a quote i once heard...

as a child of God, you are gifted with the strength and abilities to overcome any challenge that presents itself to you.

[japmans]

IF this is a fake post

then thank you!

reading this should make us remember the own trials and tribulations we went through growing up as sardars, facing the oppression and bullying of the other kids in our classes.

But we were strong enough to get through it! remember your victories, no matter how small. YOU survived, and if this story is a fake, let it at least remind you that, yes, YOU are strong enough to take on anything faith-related...if you can withstand 10 years of bullying about your looks and your religion from other kids, you can pretty much handle anything.

a quote i once heard...

as a child of God, you are gifted with the strength and abilities to overcome any challenge that presents itself to you.