Being Tested All The Bloody Time

[Mehtab Singh]

i feel a bit inferior sometimes in front of other guys when they talk about how many girls they have been with and heres me 23 years old never even kissed

What is there to feel inferior? The things those guys have done is something any scumbag can do, so whats the big deal? If those guys are Amritdharis and still talk about such things, and are proudly claiming how many "women they had", you seriously need to tell them that they need to be ashamed of themselves.

sometimes makes me feel like a loser (i know im not its just the feeling i get) im happy with other things i do i.e. keeping hair, not drinking, not smoking and not eating meat thats all fine BUT as a man i feel inferior

Being a man is not about going out and sleeping with as manywomen as possible. What is the difference between a man and a street dog then? This is pathetic, an Amritdhari being proud to have been a vikaari, is like a lion look-alike yelling that it was dog.

maybe other men can understand me

Yes, and there is nothing to feel bad about.

when i have never been able to attract a woman etc its complicated

I hope your issue is staying strong in Sikhi and not finding a way to attract a woman.

and i need help from sangat and i realise this is definately stopping me from advancing in my sikhi....if i could get past this relationship complex that i have i could advance in my sikhi

What kind of excuse is that brother? How can the fact that you never had a woman stop you from advancing in Sikhi? In fact that should provide you a boost that you've done it all these years with Gurujee's kirpa, and that you can carry on with more kirpa!

its hard to move on because im surrounded by people in relationships or have been in relationships and i see those guys and then see myself as inferior because ive never been with a woman

If its their company thats getting to you, the only way is to totally cut off contact with such people.

on top of that ive heard people say that its harder for guys with beards to find someone

Thats a load of bull which several come out with all the time. If that was the case no Singh would ever get married, but guess what, they always get married!

Gurujee kirpa karan :WW:

[Tera]

if i could get past this relationship complex that i have i could advance in my sikhi BUT its hard to move on because im surrounded by people in relationships or have been in relationships and i see those guys and then see myself as inferior because ive never been with a woman.......on top of that ive heard people say that its harder for guys with beards to find someone :D

These feelings to have a partner are surely normal but its how you control them. Your 23 - your at the marriagable age now anyway. Let your family know so they can start looking for a partner for you.

Don't worry about the crap about how its harder if you have kesh. Know where you want to go and don't look any other way, as it says in Gurbani, this path is sharper than a double edged sword and finer than a hair. However, Vaheguru has looked after you from day 1 and will continue to look after you in the future. He has given you life, a family, a house etc, it is all in His hukam, He will sort it all out.

You have come soo far down this path already paaji and you probably don't even know it. Don't fall off now.

(ps - i'm also a 23 year old guy so if you need someone to talk to - feel free to drop me a PM)

[Guest Guest]

self-confidence problem?

[Guest _Jaspreet_]

Thank you for your advice everybody it does help alot you know :D yea i guess talking about it does help too because the thing is i have got people to talk to but whats the point because the men and women i know have been or are in relationships so they wont be able to understand plus its very annoying when people who have been in relationships or are in one at the moment tell you dont get into one or forget about it i feel like slapping them because they come across as hypocrites and then try to be all religious at the same time

ive managed to stay away from the other things ive mentioned in my original post because ive learnt from other peoples mistakes and dont want to mess up my life BUT when it comes to the relationship aspect i think 'why not? because everyone else is doing it' and plus all those religious people date to even the amritdhari men AND women..............

[Guest its all a dream]

Just to drop a females’ point into all this. I’ve been into Sikhi from the age of around 12 and so have not really known any other way of life. People have ‘issues’ based around my Sikhi and the Rehit I live. I have at times also thought how different life would be if I would simply do as others do and fit in.

To be honest if I had done that I know for a fact I would be in a different place from where I am today, I would not have the hurdles and or problems I face now. All this stuff aside, there’s one thing I would not trade for all the so called joys in the world and that is having Guru Sahib Ji on my side.

Yea so life is hard, yea so I don’t fit in or do what everyone else around me has done, yea so people don’t think I’ll get anywhere as I’m sticking to my Rehit; I don’t care as I have Guru Sahib Ji with me and there’s nothing else in the world that can beat that.

All the joys of this world on one side; the happiness of my Guru Sahib's Kirpa outweighs it all. I’m so happy..

[Guest guest]

life is once...live it well, be happy with who you are.Do things you want to do. Just make sure that you dont regret what you did/didnt do afterwards. Have self confidence.

[Guest _Jaspreet_]

Once again, you already know your answer.

If you want to be a true Sikh, don't worry about what other people around you are doing. They might be hypocrites, they might be doing other crazy things, but that doesn't mean you need to. If you go down their path, you'll regret it, and it's very hard to turn back.

Sikhi is about love and comittment, try not to only pick and choose which parts to follow. You're so blessed to know about Guru Saheb and his path, even if it doesn't seem that way now. Stick with your gut instincts.

actaully i cant see the answer even if it is staring me in the face :D thats why i need sangats help from sikhs who are in MY postion not the ones who have done stuff, stopped and got into sikhi they wont be able to understand...........

[Shaheed_Fauja]

Once again, you already know your answer.

If you want to be a true Sikh, don't worry about what other people around you are doing. They might be hypocrites, they might be doing other crazy things, but that doesn't mean you need to. If you go down their path, you'll regret it, and it's very hard to turn back.

Sikhi is about love and comittment, try not to only pick and choose which parts to follow. You're so blessed to know about Guru Saheb and his path, even if it doesn't seem that way now. Stick with your gut instincts.

actaully i cant see the answer even if it is staring me in the face :D thats why i need sangats help from sikhs who are in MY postion not the ones who have done stuff, stopped and got into sikhi they wont be able to understand...........

actually u cant see it the answer coz u already answered it.

You know what is right what is wrong; you're just finding it hard to move on from whats going on around you.

chillax and let them do what they want.. do japji sahib and feel the love from it.. what they're missing out on

[Guest _Jaspreet_]

Once again, you already know your answer.

If you want to be a true Sikh, don't worry about what other people around you are doing. They might be hypocrites, they might be doing other crazy things, but that doesn't mean you need to. If you go down their path, you'll regret it, and it's very hard to turn back.

Sikhi is about love and comittment, try not to only pick and choose which parts to follow. You're so blessed to know about Guru Saheb and his path, even if it doesn't seem that way now. Stick with your gut instincts.

actaully i cant see the answer even if it is staring me in the face :D thats why i need sangats help from sikhs who are in MY postion not the ones who have done stuff, stopped and got into sikhi they wont be able to understand...........

actually u cant see it the answer coz u already answered it.

You know what is right what is wrong; you're just finding it hard to move on from whats going on around you.

chillax and let them do what they want.. do japji sahib and feel the love from it.. what they're missing out on

yea you're right i do know right from wrong and deep down i do know that any type of relationship before marriage is against sikhi i guess i am finding it hard to move on........eventually i will get there.

[Guest __singh__]

Singh, i've been at that crossroad & taken the wrong path. There is nothing but misery in the path i took, i suppose the grass always looks greener on the otherside. The worst part now is trying to get back to where i was before i took that path and boy it ain't easy (ups & downs - i suppose its all the karam i've gathered along this path)

Trust me, keep the compnay of good sangat (Gursikhs) and you'll get through this predicament with maharaj's kirpa.

(btw...i'm one of those hypocrites telling you not to do what i did...lol.... but bruv, trust me, it aint worth it)