Being Tested All The Bloody Time

[Guest _Jaspreet_]

Well the thing is I feel like im always being tested everywhere I go I stand out and sometimes I get thoughts of cutting my hair, beard and wonder what life would be like as a clean-shaven guy. Im 23 years old, so far I have never drank, smoked, stopped eating meat, started keeping bead and never been into the whole clubbing thing BUT BUT BUT I feel like doing those things sometimes and also I want to be in a relationship. I sometimes feel like doing those things because im surrounded by hypocrites who do keep kesh but drink, smoke or eat meat AND those same so called religious Sikhs are themselves in relationships or have been in relationships BUT then have the nerve to say to me to not think about relationships or to not get into one! It just angers and frustrates when people do that! So im at a crossroads at the moment and need some guidance so could sangat give me advice on my predicament.

[Guest its late!]

Dear Bro,

I have been through exactly the same (hence the guptness) there was a time in my life when I felt like whats the point? I never cut my kesh or went clubbing or drank alcohol or smoked tobacco or used drugs or ate meat and so on…and all of a sudden I thought “what the hell everyone else seems to enjoy it” and then I went and did all those things (bar about 3 from the list, but I am sure you get my drift!) and yeah then I convinced myself this is it, this is life, there is no God, who needs God (vaheguru cannot believe I thought that!!!) I thoroughly believed this was living and having fun, I never listened to people who spoke from experience, guess I have always been one to push the boundaries and see how far I can go before it all blows up…so instead of learning from other peoples mistakes, I made my own, but sure enough I learnt my lesson, the hard way, after immense suffering – emotionally, physically, spiritually.

I had to take a long hard look at myself and ask questions; why am I born, why am I here, what is my purpose in life, where is my life headed?

These are things you should ask yourself, or better still read and understand Gurbani, all the answers are there. Keep sangat of rehatvaan Singhs who can help answer any questions or can tell you from experience, the right sangat is so important.

Think of it as a blessing that you have not done the things you mention, Guru ji has protected you and saved you from having to bare yourself and suffer from those things which are all related to maya.

I believe, and some may not agree, that to some extent we have the power to change our destiny, our route, our journey (call it whatever) you can either make it all good and take the path Guru ji has shown us or you can turn away and indulge in manmukh activities, but whatever we sow so we shall reap.

Take it from someone who knows, Guru ji is the way forward, has always been so and will continue to be so! You give your life to Him, and trust me, you will never look back!

If you do not already do so, recite prayers on a regular basis e.g. Jap Ji Sahib, Chaupai Sahib, Naam Simran and Mool Mantra, you will notice the effect! Do ardaas to Guru ji, go for it, talk away, He is listening!

I hope I have been of some use, else apologies for wasting your time!

God bless bro, I hope you find your inner peace and choose to do the right thing!

PS remember you are a part of God, your’e not like poles apart from Him, let His Jot shine through in the way you live your life!

[Mehtab Singh]

Well the thing is I feel like im always being tested everywhere I go I stand out

Thats why we are called children of Sahib-e-kamaal Dasmesh Pita Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee Maharaj Kalgidhar Sachay Patshah (boy doesn't it feel good to type that long name out :nihungsmile: ). The tests we go through are zero in front of what the Singhs of the past had to endure, and guess what, they faced them as if it was a joke! They got themselves severed joint by joint, got themselves cut into pieces, and still they wished they could do more!

I get thoughts of cutting my hair, beard and wonder what life would be like as a clean-shaven guy

Life would be boring because you would have to put a blade to your face every few days, and then put an after shave lotion to avoid any minor bleeding, and feel your skin as so dry, and then every few weeks you'd have to go to a barber who would use probably unclean hands on your head. Been there done that!

Im 23 years old, so far I have never drank, smoked, stopped eating meat, started keeping bead and never been into the whole clubbing thing

You are blessed!

I feel like doing those things sometimes and also I want to be in a relationship

Its Kaljug and its perfectly normal to think that, however, the challenge is to silence your mind that urges you to go that way.

I sometimes feel like doing those things because im surrounded by hypocrites who do keep kesh but drink, smoke or eat meat AND those same so called religious Sikhs are themselves in relationships or have been in relationships

When you know they are hypocrites, why do you want to join their ranks? Stand out as who and what you are, and let them know that they cannot influence or intimidate you.

BUT then have the nerve to say to me to not think about relationships or to not get into one

There you go. You don't have to listen to or follow people who don't practise what they preach.

It just angers and frustrates when people do that

Exactly! Use that anger to stand strong, convert it into bir ras and a powerful commitment that you are NOT going to walk their hypocritical path.

So im at a crossroads at the moment and need some guidance so could sangat give me advice on my predicament

Yaar you seem intelligent and know very well what you are supposed to do, but I guess you just wanted to share your situation with the sangat, hana? Well listen to your soul. You are walking on the right path, and you are surrounded by those who are pretending to walk that path. Who knows you might be the one who sets their brains in order! So keep walking, stand strong, and let others follow your example....

...and...most importantly...

...do ardas for me that I am able to follow every word I typed as an advice to you...kyonki apni gaddee da engine vi ronda pittda chalda aa...baki gallaan karniyaan te salaawaan deniyaan sannu bahut aundiyaan...

[Guest Guest]

kbIr dInu gvwieAw dunI isau dunI n cwlI swiQ ]

kabeer dheen gavaaeiaa dhunee sio dhunee n chaalee saathh ||

Kabeer, the mortal loses his faith, for the sake of the world, but the world shall not go along with him in the end.

pwie kuhwVw mwirAw gwPil ApunY hwiQ ]13]

paae kuhaarraa maariaa gaafal apunai haathh ||13||

The <banned word filter activated> strikes his own foot with the axe by his own hand. ||13||

[lowest of the low singhni]

Once again, you already know your answer.

If you want to be a true Sikh, don't worry about what other people around you are doing. They might be hypocrites, they might be doing other crazy things, but that doesn't mean you need to. If you go down their path, you'll regret it, and it's very hard to turn back.

Sikhi is about love and comittment, try not to only pick and choose which parts to follow. You're so blessed to know about Guru Saheb and his path, even if it doesn't seem that way now. Stick with your gut instincts.

[Shaheed_Fauja]

those same so called religious Sikhs are themselves in relationships or have been in relationships BUT then have the nerve to say to me to not think about relationships or to not get into one! It just angers and frustrates when people do that!

as the famous saying in Punjabi goes: If you have the ladoo you suffer.. If you don't you suffer lol

There's a reason why they discourage you. It's not like they would lose out if u get a kuri as well

On the serious side:

You have to try to think on a higher level. What you're ddoing now is looking down and wanting to go down there.

Gurbar Akaal Sat Sri Akaal Purakh Sahib Ji Maharaj Sache Paatshah (damn not as long as mehtab's but still :nihungsmile: ) doesn't test us. It is Us who trip over the path and think "Why am i suffering?!" It is all part of you maturing. Everytime u mess up.. u learn from it and move on.. you grow up spiritually and mentally.

From the amount of crap I;ve done in my life is nothing comapred to yours, but I appreciate the fact that without it I wouldn't be where I am now.

[Guest _Jaspreet_]

I sort of know im right and everything im doing is in sync with sikhi BUT i feel a bit inferior sometimes in front of other guys when they talk about how many girls they have been with and heres me 23 years old never even kissed :D and it sometimes makes me feel like a loser (i know im not its just the feeling i get) im happy with other things i do i.e. keeping hair, not drinking, not smoking and not eating meat thats all fine BUT as a man i feel inferior (maybe other men can understand me) when i have never been able to attract a woman etc its complicated and i need help from sangat and i realise this is definately stopping me from advancing in my sikhi....if i could get past this relationship complex that i have i could advance in my sikhi BUT its hard to move on because im surrounded by people in relationships or have been in relationships and i see those guys and then see myself as inferior because ive never been with a woman.......on top of that ive heard people say that its harder for guys with beards to find someone

[B4ND4]

All i can say is trust me on this one bro. You are better off not having a realtionship which you might repent in the later stages of your life. These relationships are nothing but illusion. Its just a phase and it'll pass, you have to stay strong :D . Respect every girl as you would respect your mother/sister. This kissing shissing business is really unimportant.

Guru Rakha!!

[Guest Narinder Singh]

Jaspreet veerji, being disciplined isnt something to be ashamed of, it's a quality that can inspire so many people.

All this things youre looking for happiness in are things that will give you temporary happiness, ask those who went through it and actually realized it.

Fateh.

[Shaheed_Fauja]

The Mughal King wanted to get a Bhramin to smoke tobacco. His clever advisors gave him an idea. What they did was make everyone in the court room smoke when the Bhramin came in. THe king said: Look everyone smokes, even I do! So why don't you?

Looking around he thought might as well give it one puff.. everyone's doing it.. so he did and lost his powers. (continuatoin of another story i posted earlier somewhere lol)