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Relationship Before Marriage


Pheena
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vahegurooo...i got involved in a relationship and ended up 'falling in love' with that person.....totally got hurt.....am soooo attached to that person......messed up my sikhi.....now im trying to pick my sikhi back up of the floor and stay attached 2 maharajs charan but its very hard...its all affected my amrit vela and nitnem....ive done ardaas 2 maharaj 2 help me.....trying to build up my nitnem....cos maharaj is the only one who can do kirpa on me and help me

i could have totally avoided all of this if i had not got into the relationship in the first place....i know im being a hypocrite here but benti to you guys and gals....dont get in2 relationships in the first place...take it from me....it totally messes up your sikhi....

if your engaged 2 someone then why dont you read bani with that person...get that person 2 wake u up at amritvela.....etc etc

please forgive me for anything i have said 2 offend anyone or anything wrong i have said.....im am still learning...vaheguroo...

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The term "relationship" has many meanings. Pheena veer could you define "relationship" for us?

I think the Youtube link posted earlier in this thread is perhaps expressed it better than i ever could.

I made this thread with the intentions that it is not relationships that cause pain and suffering, it is our vices. It is about understanding ourselves before we engage ourselves with another individual, both mentally and/or physically. That simply saying it is 'forbidden' is not enough for me, i felt there should be a reasonable understanding of this 'forbidden' act. If it is sex that we must avoid then why not attachment, I can say that 9 out of 10 of us in this discussion are in some way or form attached to someone or something. If we are to avoid Sexuality and attachment before marriage then these acts should be equally forbidden after marriage. In more than half of such discussion it is always suggested that only after you are married. Is marriage the solution to Sexuality? Once married, is Sexuality automatically removed from my system? The pain of separation can be equally harmful to one spiritual progression when a marriage sometimes fails and they can fail just as any relationship before marriage. In the end Marriage is also a relationship, aside from the fact that it is given a seal of Religious authority for some and a approval for Spiritual union for others. We are just as vulnerable to these vice as we were before marriage.

The truth of the matter is, those who are going to get into a relationship are going to do so regardless. Now they can enter into one with the understanding of what Relationship is and its consequences or they can enter it with ignorance. It is about spreading better understanding of Relationships, which can lead us astray just as easily as they can bring us closer to our path. To deem them heretic to me would be unjust. What we need to do is share with others a sensible understanding of the boundaries that should exist in a relationship and to share with others tools to better contemplate on the decisions we make while in a relationship if we choose to be in one.

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