Jump to content

Relationship Before Marriage


Pheena
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 73
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

you can have a reltionship with someone which only involves tlaking. but then if your reltionship involves becoming physical with someone, then this is wrong, and would require pesh.

Again talking can be of many kinds :lol: . When you say "involves becoming physical", what exactly does that mean? Is holding someone's hand considered getting physical?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

getting involved in relationships before marraige is a waste of time.
how is it not a waste of time, after marraige?

Marriage is gurmat, according to the gurus teachings. you do laava around mahraj and you both make mahraj the centre of your lives. you help each other to reach mahraj. you help each other in ur jeevan. the anad kaaraj is blessed by guru jee. and is done in front of guru granth sahib jee where ardas is also done.

now if you havent been married, you get into a relationship, it nearly always leads to manmat things. if you got involved with someone physically then decided not to get married to them....then youy move on to someone else??? this dating, this isnt gurmat, this is lust.

ideally a marriage should be arranged by guru sahib, everything should be left to mahraj. this finding someone yourself and getting into a relationship before hand gets out of hand.

if you think that having a relationship before marriage is ok then fine, but i suggest you speak to the panj piayre first. is it really gonna help you in ur sikhi?

Do all relationships start and end with lust? Lust can be as big of an issue after marriage as it can be before. Can there be no relationship before marriage where you get to know the person's character, their spiritual essence, their willing to participate in this journey of life? If the mind of an individual is weak in lust then that is the indulgence that he/she is taking. Every relationship has or it needs to have its boundaries where both participants agree to. Its not the relationships that cause drama for the youth it is the lack of these boundaries defined by ones maturity and understanding of their own values.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ਏਕਾ ਨਾਰੀ ਜਤੀ ਹੋਇ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ਧੀ ਭੈਣ ਵਖਾਣੈ॥

"Having one women as his wife, he (the Sikh) is a celibate and considers any other's wife his daughter or a sister (and vice versa for females)."

(Vaar 6, Pauree 8, Bhai Gurdaas jee)

ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆਂ ਚੰਗੀਆਂ, ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ ॥

"Men should look at the opposite sex as mothers, sisters and daughters, women should look at the opposite sex as fathers, brothers and sons."

(Vaar 29, Pauri 11, Bhai Gurdaas jee)

Good find.

The intention of these words are so that one may control the wandering eye that may induce lust in ones mind.

Are we implying that one gets into a relationship with the sole purpose of having sex? Is this the sole cause for a relationship?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are we implying that one gets into a relationship with the sole purpose of having sex? Is this the sole cause for a relationship?

No. However, it is not possible to be in a relationship with someone, and regard them as a mother/sister/daughter/brother/father/son.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are we implying that one gets into a relationship with the sole purpose of having sex? Is this the sole cause for a relationship?

No. However, it is not possible to be in a relationship with someone, and regard them as a mother/sister/daughter/brother/father/son.

Do you still call a girl/guy you get engaged to Veer/Bhen ji? And if you don't does that mean you see them with Lust in your mind? If you do then how can you be in such a relationship?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

paar nari ke seej bhool swapan mai pi na jao !!!!! not exactly but something similar to this are the bachans of dasmesh pita !!!!! asslich taan door di gall guru sahib ne taan sapney ch we jaan toon manna kitta and its not the question of before and after its question parrai jaa apni !!!! till anadkaraj is done no matter how much ur attached or in love its parri as according to reeti of world !!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you still call a girl/guy you get engaged to Veer/Bhen ji?

No. Although, im having trouble understanding how you can address someone as brother/sister one day, then accept that you'll get married.

And if you don't does that mean you see them with Lust in your mind?

I guess its possible to not call someone veerji/bhenji but still look at them in an 'unlustful' way.

If you do then how can you be in such a relationship?

Eh? blink.gif

can anyone tell i just made half of that up

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Umm, that's totally irrational, bro. There are plenty of prakash-dara Singhs in Punjab (less than we'd like, but still plenty). No one cares that you are sabat soorat. It isn't 1986. You can walk around in chola, kurta-pajama, or jeans. Whatever. If you want the look @dallysingh101 is referring to, just go into a cheap clothing shop (not a Western-style mall) and buy some shirts for 250 rupees or a track suit for 2000 rupees. You'll get the cheap stuff made in some sweatshop in Bombay.
    • The Mind is Jyot Saroop (Waheguru), but the mind is under the influence of five evils… Through Naam Simran( Rememberance), the mind will begin to detach from evil, and get back to its original form ( MANN TU JYOT SAROOP HEH)… Until the mind breaks free from the five evils, one will go through the cycle of paap and punn….which leads to Karma… Naam Simran destroys past karma, and prevents new karma coming into fruition… I did this, I did that… This non realisation of the Jyot Saroop gives rise to paap and Punn, which in turn gives birth to suffering and misery…
    • I agree we're not born with sin like the Christians think. Also I agree we have effects of karma. But Gurbani does state that the body contains both sin and charity (goodness): ਕਾਇਆ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਪਾਪੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦੁਇ ਭਾਈ ॥ Within the body are the two brothers sin and virtue. p126 Actually, we do need to be saved. Gurbani calls this "udhaar" (uplift). Without Satguru, souls are liable to spiritual death: ਜਿਨਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਨ ਭੇਟਿਓ ਸੇ ਭਾਗਹੀਣ ਵਸਿ ਕਾਲ ॥ p40 Those who have not met Satguru Purakh are unfortunate and liable to death. So, yeah, we do need to be saved, and Guru ji does the saving. The reason Satguru is the one to save is because God has given Satguru the "key" (kunji): ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਹਥਿ ਕੁੰਜੀ ਹੋਰਤੁ ਦਰੁ ਖੁਲੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰੈ ਭਾਗਿ ਮਿਲਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੭॥ In the True Guru's hand is the key. None else can open the door. By perfect good fortune the Guru is met. p124
    • That's unfortunate to hear. Could you give any more information? Who was this "baba"? He just disappeared with people's money? Obviously, you should donate your money to known institutions or poor people that you can verify the need of through friends and family in Punjab.
    • Sangat ji,  I know a family who went Sevewal to do seva sometimes end of 2019. They returned last year in great dismay and heart broken.  To repent for their mistakes they approached panj pyaare. The Panj gave them their punishment / order to how t make it up which, with Kirpa, they fulfilled.  They were listening to a fake Baba who, in the end, took all the "Donations " and fled sometime over a year ago. For nearly 4 years this family (who are great Gursikhs once u get to know them) wasted time and effort for this fake Baba. NOT ONLY this one fam. But many, many did worldwide and they took their fam to do seva, in village Sevewal, city Jaitho in Punjab. In the end many families lost money in thousands being behind this Baba. The family, on return, had to get in touch with all the participants and told them to stop.  I am stating this here to create awareness and we need to learn from whom we follow and believe. It's no easy but if we follow the 3 S (Sangat, Simran and Seva) we will be shown the light. As I am writing this the family in question have been doing the same since 2008 onwards and they fell for this Baba... it is unbelievable and shocking.  This am writing in a nutshell as am at work on my break so not lengthy but it deserves a great length.  Especially the family in question, who shed light on youngsters about Sikhi 20 plus years!! 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use