Help

[Singhsta]

Sangat ji i need help

I am an amritdhari singh in university and i am in love wit a girl. i kno this is fake love, and i know it is all moh, as true love is only for waheguroo, but all i can do is think about this girl. she is a really good friend of mine and i just feel she would be the perfect girl to marry, she says the exact same thing about me, saying i am a perfect guy for her, the only problem is shes been in a relationship wit a guy for years now, and he is the one she is going to marry. she says i am better for her than he is, but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be. we talk almost everyday, because we are really good friends and all i want to do is spend the rest of my life with her and talk to her all day. i kno this is all stupid and i should jus concentrate on waheguroo and not worry about these things, but all i do is think about her all day and get upset becasue i cannot be wit her.i have been upset a lot lately, and see myself questioning gods plan more and more everyday. i c myself asking god y me? i am amritdhari and trying my best to be a gursikh, but god still gives me these pains? and i really kno these thoughts r bad, because god has given me soooooooooooo much in this life i cannot even begin to tahnk him, yet i find myself question him. i need help as to wat to do and how to get over these feelings...i kno people r going to say read bani and do ardas, but when i read bani she is always in my mind, and when i do ardas, i ask guru sahib to help me get over these feelings, but truly in my heart i am asking him to let me be wit her..i dont kno wat to do...please any suggestions will help

thanks

[supasinghsghost]

Sangat ji i need help

I am an amritdhari singh in university and i am in love wit a girl. i kno this is fake love, and i know it is all moh, as true love is only for waheguroo, but all i can do is think about this girl. she is a really good friend of mine and i just feel she would be the perfect girl to marry, she says the exact same thing about me, saying i am a perfect guy for her, the only problem is shes been in a relationship wit a guy for years now, and he is the one she is going to marry. she says i am better for her than he is, but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be. we talk almost everyday, because we are really good friends and all i want to do is spend the rest of my life with her and talk to her all day. i kno this is all stupid and i should jus concentrate on waheguroo and not worry about these things, but all i do is think about her all day and get upset becasue i cannot be wit her.i have been upset a lot lately, and see myself questioning gods plan more and more everyday. i c myself asking god y me? i am amritdhari and trying my best to be a gursikh, but god still gives me these pains? and i really kno these thoughts r bad, because god has given me soooooooooooo much in this life i cannot even begin to tahnk him, yet i find myself question him. i need help as to wat to do and how to get over these feelings...i kno people r going to say read bani and do ardas, but when i read bani she is always in my mind, and when i do ardas, i ask guru sahib to help me get over these feelings, but truly in my heart i am asking him to let me be wit her..i dont kno wat to do...please any suggestions will help

thanks

i think she is stringing you along and if she really wanted to be with you she would have ended it with this guy.......you are satisfying her emotional needs by talking to her everyday whilst the other guy is satisfying her physical needs....she is playing you and i think she likes the idea of having two guys after her!.....cut ur conversations with because you are probably very attached to her at the moment.....slowly cut ur calls and contact and then see how u feel about her.......do you really wana spend the rest of ur life with a woman who cant make the effort to be with you.....seems like ur doing all the running!!!

[xkaurx]

I agree with supasingh, but there is another reason...when your with a person for so long you kind of get use to them so that explains why she doesnt wana seperate from him because shes got that stability which she might think she wont get from you? why dont you try talking to her more openly and see what happens.

But only real way your gona get over her is by talking to her less, talking everyday just makes you dependent on that person too much and thats not always a good thing, hang around with your other mates and keep yourself more occupied.

[Singhsta]

ive told her how i felt and she said she wishes she could do sumthin, but she is with him, she is saying that i am better for her but like xkaurx bheinji said, she cant picture her life without him... and supasinghghost, its not like that, we are best friends, she told me that she thought i was perfect and that she should be wit me before i told her about my feelings or before she knew how i felt...and currently they r in a situation where they rnt talking, and she currently has no body to talk to and needs emotional support, and she tells me im the only one she can depend on right now, so i cant really stop talking to her either because i am the only one she has to talk to right now, and as her best friend i dont think its right just to leave her

[xkaurx]

how do you know shes not just using you though? and do you seriously think its right for her to be telling you she'd rather be with you whilst shes with someone else? imagine if you were that other guy shes with right now...that doesnt look good does it?

[Singhsta]

yea, i kno....thats y im so confused

[xkaurx]

well take yourself outa the picture for a second...imagine someone else was in this situation what would you tell them? or what would you think? because personally it sounds as if you and that other guy are getting messed around, because your in love with her you cant see whats going on or rather you dont really wana see

[Singhsta]

yea i kno....couple months ago i woulda laughed if i read this saying who cares, jus stop talking to her, be a man blah blah blah....but its hard once u actually get these feelings

[xkaurx]

yep i no what you mean but you need to talk to her about all this, its either him or you she cant have it both ways, n if shes with him for the sake of being use to him thats a bit silly just dont let her take advantage

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

Sangat ji i need help

I am an amritdhari singh in university and i am in love wit a girl. i kno this is fake love, and i know it is all moh, as true love is only for waheguroo, but all i can do is think about this girl. she is a really good friend of mine and i just feel she would be the perfect girl to marry, she says the exact same thing about me, saying i am a perfect guy for her, the only problem is shes been in a relationship wit a guy for years now, and he is the one she is going to marry. she says i am better for her than he is, but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be. we talk almost everyday, because we are really good friends and all i want to do is spend the rest of my life with her and talk to her all day. i kno this is all stupid and i should jus concentrate on waheguroo and not worry about these things, but all i do is think about her all day and get upset becasue i cannot be wit her.i have been upset a lot lately, and see myself questioning gods plan more and more everyday. i c myself asking god y me? i am amritdhari and trying my best to be a gursikh, but god still gives me these pains? and i really kno these thoughts r bad, because god has given me soooooooooooo much in this life i cannot even begin to tahnk him, yet i find myself question him. i need help as to wat to do and how to get over these feelings...i kno people r going to say read bani and do ardas, but when i read bani she is always in my mind, and when i do ardas, i ask guru sahib to help me get over these feelings, but truly in my heart i am asking him to let me be wit her..i dont kno wat to do...please any suggestions will help

thanks

your post is interesting. the way i see it, mahraj has and is helping you so much at the moment. If it wasnt for this girls other man, you would probably be in a physical relationship with this girl, which is wrong. So thank mahraj this isnt the case. The girl has another guy, accept it and move on. Turn these feelings of neediness for the girl into love for mahraj.

you need sangat, go to keertan programes, find some singhs to chill out with.

dont go down the wrong route, u'll only regret it.