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[_anon_]

hmm, so ur saying she needs u for emotional support atm coz shes having problems with her current bf.

what about u- dont u need any emotional support? this is obviously eating u up. has she not recognised that? and when they make up, where does that leave u? worse off, coz at this point ur probably secretly hoping they never talk again.

shes made it clear that you cant be together, and its also obvious shes not gonna leave her bf.

so stop hoping she'll change her mind. dont put urself through any more of this.

i hate to break it to you, but the only way ur gonna get over this is by losing her as a friend.

once u cut off all contact, the wounds will begin to heal.

sorry if that was harsh, but it had to be said.

[JiwanSingh7072]

Sangat ji i need help

I am an amritdhari singh in university and i am in love wit a girl. i kno this is fake love, and i know it is all moh, as true love is only for waheguroo, but all i can do is think about this girl. she is a really good friend of mine and i just feel she would be the perfect girl to marry, she says the exact same thing about me, saying i am a perfect guy for her, the only problem is shes been in a relationship wit a guy for years now, and he is the one she is going to marry. she says i am better for her than he is, but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be. we talk almost everyday, because we are really good friends and all i want to do is spend the rest of my life with her and talk to her all day. i kno this is all stupid and i should jus concentrate on waheguroo and not worry about these things, but all i do is think about her all day and get upset becasue i cannot be wit her.i have been upset a lot lately, and see myself questioning gods plan more and more everyday. i c myself asking god y me? i am amritdhari and trying my best to be a gursikh, but god still gives me these pains? and i really kno these thoughts r bad, because god has given me soooooooooooo much in this life i cannot even begin to tahnk him, yet i find myself question him. i need help as to wat to do and how to get over these feelings...i kno people r going to say read bani and do ardas, but when i read bani she is always in my mind, and when i do ardas, i ask guru sahib to help me get over these feelings, but truly in my heart i am asking him to let me be wit her..i dont kno wat to do...please any suggestions will help

thanks

Veere,

This is just a test from Waheguru, to see if you are a true Singh or not. A true Singh only thinks of women as his mother, sister, or daughter. A true Singh wil not "fall in love" with a girl. There will be only one women that you can "fall in love" with, and that will be your Singhni. Also you mentioned that she is already in a relationship, so FORGET ABOUT HER! AVOID CONTACTING HER! AND MY FRIEND IF YOU CANT THEN GO GET MARRIED (not to her) AND GET OVER THIS! We should love only Waheguru and only Waheguru!

- Jiwanjot Singh

[scottie]

have you tried anytimie at all that you feel your gettin dodgy thoughts about her to try "embarrass" your mind?

like remembering that Guru Gobind Singh Ji is watching just over your shoulder...or doing Chaupai Sahib paath or simran whenever your mind starts thinking of these thoughts

[malkeet]

you need to start thinking clearly singh. you are amritdhari, you belong to guruji only. you gave your head to guruji. you cannot have any relationships outside of marriage. is she more important than your sikhi?

IF you truly think she is marriage material (which i doubt because she is not amritdhari, has a relationship with 2 guys..you and her bf) then ask her to marry you. If she says yes, then great you can get married but she will need to take amrit. If she says no, then why waste your time? a relationship with her will turn physical and you will lose everything..your sikhi will be gone. you will lose all that you have worked for.

you need to start thinking logically, unfortunately love often clouds all logic. its going to be hard, but you have to end this one way or another.

[Singhsta]

I dont think i was clear. She is amritdhari and she is not in a physical relationship with this guy...more jus a guy she is with who she knows who she wants to marry...and as for me and her, i do not want a physical relationship with her before marriage, I jus feel like she is the one for me and want to get married to her, nothing physical at all

[Singhstah]

have love for vaheguroo

and vaheguroo didnt give you this pain, your own vikaars did.

Dont do such beadbi of Guroo Sahib, as an amritdhari you are Guroo Sahibs physical roop.

[V]

have love for vaheguroo

and vaheguroo didnt give you this pain, your own vikaars did.

Dont do such beadbi of Guroo Sahib, as an amritdhari you are Guroo Sahibs physical roop.

How did his own vikars make him fall in love with someone.

Odd how the original poster talks about have emotions/loving this bibi, and suddenly everyone assumes he's out after a physical relationship.

Wonder who the vikar lies in?

The fact that this Singh didn't CHOOSE to fall in love with her means it can't be his fault. It could be a test - definitely not an easy one.

Erm there’s no point in ignoring her at the moment, as she is in a need of emotional support. As was advised by others earlier on- try to focus your mind on Gurbani, and try not to get too attached (which I can just imagine is really hard) – she is in a need of emotional support – don’t just leave her like that; but still try to remain unattached, since she has clearly said that there is no way she is going to leave him.

Become a lotus in the mud. I know, much harder than it sounds…

[sherlsurj]

'but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be'

that is the biggest amount of crap i have ever heard!u r obviously being used. if she liked u that much no1 wud stand in her way no matter how long she had been with sum1. i hate it when girls says this stuff just to keep a guy close to them. buck up ur ideas singh u r clearly being taken 4 a ride.

[malkeet]

I dont think i was clear. She is amritdhari and she is not in a physical relationship with this guy...more jus a guy she is with who she knows who she wants to marry...and as for me and her, i do not want a physical relationship with her before marriage, I jus feel like she is the one for me and want to get married to her, nothing physical at all

veerji this is a difficult situation and must be a very hard situation for you and her. something similar is affecting sum1 in my life. i know this is probably not what you want to hear, but maybe you should just increase your bani, and leave marriage to god. if you are meant to marry her then it will happen. If you arent then god has some1 else for you to marry.

if you truly want to lose your feelings for her then as already mentioned, you have to detach yourself from her and speak to her a lot less. also if u feel you are ready for marriage then let your parents know, marrying someone else will also definitely help.

just dont forget, guruji is always there for you and you can always turn to guruji for help.

[Ramneet Singh]

'but because they been together so long, she cant end it wit him. she says if they werent together we would be'

that is the biggest amount of crap i have ever heard!u r obviously being used. if she liked u that much no1 wud stand in her way no matter how long she had been with sum1. i hate it when girls says this stuff just to keep a guy close to them. buck up ur ideas singh u r clearly being taken 4 a ride.

:WW: :WW: :WW:

And to the poster ... how old ru bro?