Controling Lustful Actions

[Guest guywithproblemo]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

hi all i am a mona Sikh trying to be a better Sikh, i do not drink or smoke i am 19 years of age. i have a problem controlling my lust which results in me doing kaami things. I wanna be a better Sikh but i am fearfull of two things, going into the wrong perseption of Sikh that some people have (too extreme) or too liberal. can anyone me advice on what to do?

i look forward to your replies

[Harvinder singh Babbar]

fateh, what in your eyes is to extreme?

[japmans]

^^ that's actually not relevant or important.

The topic is about getting away from kaam.

His perception of his spiritual path shouldn't come into question. He needs sangat's help about how to get away from kaam. If he finds the sangat's various suggestions to fit within his conceptual framework of Sikhi and spirituality, i'm sure he will accept them. otherwise, he will continue to seek.

[Singh23]

WJKK WJKF

Veer Ji try this link out

http://www.mkhalsa.com/lit/fightingkaam.html

It's opened my eyes and hopefully it can do the same for you. Try and do the shabad that is mentioned in the post, it helps remind you that kaam is a temporary joy and that the price you have to pay for it is not worth the temporary feelings.

Remember that Guru Sahib is always with us, and our deeds are being noted and we will be sentenced by Dharam Raj according to our deeds. Think how horrible it will be having those disgusting deeds written on that list, read aloud before we are sentenced.

Please read the link and bhull chuk maaf if I have said anything wrong.

[sherlsurj]

waheguru simran a lot of it. just do it randomly or close ur eyes 4 a bit. and do pressups when ur minds starts thinking of bad stuff. thats what i used to do. do 25 pressups reli puch urself rest go again. b4 u know it uve burnt up ur kaam hormones hehe

[Revolutionary]

Lustful actions tend to occur when you got nothing else to do..

Become a Saint Soldier - do your bhagti and do hardcore workouts... Build your spirit and body.

When you work on your body, it's easy to fight kaam because you'll be concentrating on your workout and after you'll be too tired to do anything.

However, when you work on your spirit, you'll face Kaam head on - which may seem hard at 1st.. but this is what will help you in the long term.

Result: You fought Kaam and Become a Sant Sipahi!

[Mindless]

An important thing to always do with an issue you face, is to find out,- ask yourself, and research maybe,- WHY exactly you experince it- get to the root, Understand it, Understand the 'enemy' and understand 'yourself'

'Ultimate exellence lies in not winning every battle,

but defeating the enemy without ever fighting,

the highest form of warfare is to attack strategy itself' -

<Sun Tzu, The Art of War>

So WHY do we experince kaam?

because of reproduction, right..?

For example, On average, males may find women with an hour glass figure more attractive, as it indicates that she has a healthy womb--which means healthy offspring, genes passed successfully e.c.t Its not really the things you think about, but rather just subconsiously, 'wired' into the brain.

There are many other exmaple of this, but i wont go into them, cos thats not the focus. The important bit is that you understand the reason for kaam, and that is>>mother nature doing its thing..<<mother nature wants us to experience all other things too, anger, attachment, ego, greed, beacuse all those things help us to 'develop' as a human race. for example, someone may become attatched to their partner, this is so that they remain together, and that the kids have a 'better' chance of surviving and being successful..((but not neccessarily) and so they can too pass on their genes, e.c.t e.c.t, the human race continues..

So,

Next, we have to understand what WE, as gursikhs want. WE want to become above that, be above natural animal desires, e.c.t,

We want to become one with ourselves, maharaj. That means, erasing the ego, which means overcoming the desires that feed it, you control them, they dont control you, Man jeete jag jeet, conquer the mind, conqur the world....which means you conquer yourself, and become one with maharaj.

I hope that made sence, if it didnt, i apologise, i'm not a clear writer

Also, apart from that, another thing you can do, is condition your mind..

when you look at a bibi/baba, *force* yourself to see them as your brother and sister, (that sounds a lil weird maybe) but over time, it will make a difference, and your mind will naturally condition and start beleiving that they ARE your brother/ sister, .....beacuse they are

Maharaj created this technique for a reason, so that we focus on our priorities, of meditating, serving others, e.c.t, steps towards erasing ego, rather the increasing it.

Also, Also Also.....highly recomend,..doing ARDAAS, it will sort it out, gaurenteed.

You have to go and beg to maharaj, in complete submission, complete emptiess, and humility, Maharaj i have nothing, i cant do it, YOU give me the ability to overcome these desires, I cant, You give me the focus and the love, I'm nothing maharaj. Pull me out

But it all depends on how badly you want it.

Sorry for anything out of order.

[valli singh]

Number One

Fast simran 3 times a day, that way the mind becomes absorbded,

Number Two

Stay away from t.v, media, malls etc, because such things cause the mind to needlessly project desires,

Number Three

keep good company, do satsang and surrender to God

Number Four

probably the most important factor in controlling the mind is keeping your sleep cycle balanced so that the thoughts are clear and not clouded by the unconscious mind and desires, that means waking up at the same time and going to bed at the same time daily.

[Guest _singh_]

Number One

Fast simran 3 times a day, that way the mind becomes absorbded,

Number Two

Stay away from t.v, media, malls etc, because such things cause the mind to needlessly project desires,

Number Three

keep good company, do satsang and surrender to God

Number Four

probably the most important factor in controlling the mind is keeping your sleep cycle balanced so that the thoughts are clear and not clouded by the unconscious mind and desires, that means waking up at the same time and going to bed at the same time daily.

wicked advice!!!

[Harjeet.Singh]

You yourself cannot control lust. You can try and you will only succeed, for a short time, till it comes back to haunt you. Accept lust is there. It is a universal evil. Only God can save you from Lust. and it is obvious what you have to do, You have to obtain his grace. Do this by worshipping God this is the only thing we can do. We ourselves don't have the power to become good or bad, God does this for us. What we have to do is love the Lord. If you don't already, start reading Gurbani, and understand it because all answers are there. You must go to God for everything. Do ardaas, pray that he may forgive you of your sins, ask for him to defeat kaam, you can't do it yourself, Eventually you will need to do naam simran or more of it. It is easier than you probably think. You just focus on God, and he takes care of the rest. But since our minds are use to wandering around, it is hard just to concentrate on one thing. But eventually you will become a master, and God shall take care of all your affairs. Also doing naam simran is like your mind having a bath, it will get cleansed. You will find if you commit to this, day by day you will start losing interest in maya, not just kaam.

You must also fear God, tell yourself you shall be punished so severly, if you do not commit yourself to serving God. Remind your self what happens if you don't serve God. (Pains of births and deaths) If you are not scared of God, then your ego is huge, this is a bigger problem. Don't fear anything but God, and what he can do to you. Think of everyday as your last, and you must hurry up and acheive salvation.

Avoid anything that will lead you to lustfull, thoughts, TV, internet (the bad websites), even talking to the opposite sex. Because at first you might be just talking to them innocently, just being nice, but then thought can carry on, into a desire. Just by being nice, can cause your mind to wander off in filth. Even if it was not your original intention.

Like i said, if you try to defeat kaam your self, it will only be for a short time, because if you do it yourself, it is inspired by ego, and you still forget God. That is why i think the advice above, about doing exercise, "because it makes you forget" is bad. Because you also forget about God, and your life purpose, and you are still indulging yourself with maya, so i say don't listen to that. If you Go straight to God for the problems, ask him to sort it out, remember and meditate on his name, the problem shall be permenently solved. Not just for a short while. If you do pushups, then afterwards you will remember you needed to do a lustful activity, then what will you do? You can't fight it, forever.

If you think im being extremist then read gurbani and understand. The answers lie there. Go to God for all your problems. and For all your happiness, Don't just go to God when you need him most.

Also if you need to do some lust stuff, it will be quite hard to not want to do it. You will have to probably do it. It is very difficult to fight, but God's grace can get rid of it in a microsecond.

So you need to focus on God when your mind is most clear, this is at amrit vela. Early in the morning before 6am. Because at that time you don't have to worry about anything. So if you are not already you need to start getting up at amrit vela, and meditate on God.