Changing My Mental Attitude

[Guest Fattie]

I seem to be a pretty negative person, I assume that negative things will happen, I assume the worst and i become stressed very easily. For years i have lacked motivation to do anything, I've been unemployed for months at a time, even when i do have a job I cannot find the motivation to do it, instead i spend time reading websites or doing anything other than the work i should. At times I feel very despondent and when I compare myself to my peers I feel ‘jealous’ that they have achieved so much, in terms of career, job, getting married, making their parents proud, and angry at myself for no achieving anything and not making my parents proud. I have very little confidence in myself and just think I am a loserAlso, I like ladies too much, I spent ages thinking about pretty girls I see (bad I know).

I am slowly getting things in order, starting with the way I look. I’ve started to lose weight, and I’ve gone from 303 pounds to 270 pounds. Is there anything I can do from a spiritual side to help me. I am not the most religious person. I don’t have much will power, even if I go to the Gurdwara a day later I get the envy, lust stuff back in my head. So, please don't reel of a list of paarts because i cannot read punjabi properly. But i do feel calmer after listening to Gurbani, even if i don't understand it, Chaupai sahib in particular.

[Sukhdeep Singhh]

Sadh Sangat has the ability to change the perception of yourself and the world around you. Your negative thinking is due to the dirt on your mind. We all tons of dirt on our mind due to the deeds of this life and other lifes. Company of Sadh Sanga wipes this dirt with the soap of Naam, then our way of thinking completely changes. We gain greater understanding of our potentials. ITs negativity that creates a let down heart which prevents us from seeing things in a positive light. We need courage to battle this negativity and prevent the heart from being let down. THis shabad explains how our perception changes through Sadh Sangat.

iblwvlu mhlw 5 ]

bilaaval mehalaa 5 ||

Bilaaval, Fifth Mehla:

ipMgul prbq pwir pry Kl cqur bkIqw ]

pi(n)gul parabath paar parae khal chathur bakeethaa ||

The cripple crosses over the mountain, the fool becomes a wise man,

AMDuly iqRBvx sUiJAw gur Byit punIqw ]1]

a(n)dhhulae thribhavan soojhiaa gur bhaett puneethaa ||1||

and the blind man sees the three worlds, by meeting with the True Guru and being purified. ||1||

mihmw swDU sMg kI sunhu myry mIqw ]

mehimaa saadhhoo sa(n)g kee sunahu maerae meethaa ||

This is the Glory of the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; listen, O my friends.

mYlu KoeI koit AG hry inrml Bey cIqw ]1] rhwau ]

mail khoee kott agh harae niramal bheae cheethaa ||1|| rehaao ||

Filth is washed away, millions of sins are dispelled, and the consciousness becomes immaculate and pure. ||1||Pause||

AYsI Bgiq goivMd kI kIit hsqI jIqw ]

aisee bhagath govi(n)dh kee keett hasathee jeethaa ||

Such is devotional worship of the Lord of the Universe, that the ant can overpower the elephant.

jo jo kIno Awpno iqsu ABY dwnu dIqw ]2]

jo jo keeno aapano this abhai dhaan dheethaa ||2||

Whoever the Lord makes His own, is blessed with the gift of fearlessness. ||2||

isMGu iblweI hoie gieE iqRxu myru idKIqw ]

si(n)gh bilaaee hoe gaeiou thrin maer dhikheethaa ||

The lion becomes a cat, and the mountain looks like a blade of grass.

sRmu krqy dm AwF kau qy gnI DnIqw ]3]

sram karathae dham aadt ko thae ganee dhhaneethaa ||3||

Those who worked for half a shell, will be judged very wealthy. ||3||

kvn vfweI kih skau byAMq gunIqw ]

kavan vaddaaee kehi sako baea(n)th guneethaa ||

What glorious greatness of Yours can I describe, O Lord of infinite excellences?

kir ikrpw moih nwmu dyhu nwnk dr srIqw ]4]7]37]

kar kirapaa mohi naam dhaehu naanak dhar sareethaa ||4||7||37||

Please bless me with Your Mercy, and grant me Your Name; O Nanak, I am lost without the Blessed Vision of Your Darshan. ||4||7||37||

Look how much courage we gain throug the Sadh Sangat. Even a terrifying Lion looks like a little cat.

How do we recognize Sadh Sangat? Where Waaheguru is being praised with full devotion .

[Papi]

I would recommend you read the book Change Your Brain Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel G. Amen.

A small video of what he talks about in the book on Youtube:

You can order it from Amazon: http://www.amazon.ca/Change-Your-Brain-Lif...s/dp/0812929985

[SunSingh]

do lots of paath and simran. keep good sangat and avoid negative thing. whenever you cath yourself thinking a negative thought, replace it with positive.

read As a man thinkethby James Allen. One of the best books for spiritual seekers that i've ever read in English. http://james-allen.in1woord.nl/

[saint-soldier]

1. hang around with good sangat. you have no idea how much our mind and thoughts change depending on the type of people we spend time with. start doing seva at gurudwara sahib. this way you'll be spending more time listening to kirtan and you'll also meet some chardikala gursikhs who can help you with your sikhi. having good sangat around you is the key. if you hang around with drug users and the people that are trapped in the 5 evils then you'll become one of them(unless you are a brahmgiani). and if you hang around with gursikhs and people who want to become pakke sikhs then your mind will tell you to become one too.

2. start listening to more kirtan. even if you dont understand it, dosnt matter. put some of your fav kirtan tracks on ipod and just listen to it whenever and wherever you can. trust me if you are listening to kirtan on your ipod your mind wont be thinking about the people you see in a lustful manner. at home always have kirtan on, this way your mind will be more calmer and wont wander around. sikhroots is a good site to download kirtan. start now man.

3. start doing more paath. get sikhitomax if you want to read in english. start with small amounts and build yourself from there onwards. waking up at amritvela is the key man(something i gotta start doing too), but if you wake up and the first thing you do is paath then your whole day will be very different from the usual.

4. and remember you are the son of guru gobind singh ji so stop comparing yourself to others man.

everyone goes through different paths in life. you just gotta take the bad life throws at you and make it into good with a good attitude. you'll always be stuck at the same place in life if you keep comparing yourself to this dude or that dude. so have a positive attitude and stop worrying about things.

btw if you are going to spend time on websites make sure its sikhi related. history section is a good place to start here

hope it helps

bhul chuk muaf

[Guest MK]

Its all a state of mind.....the good thing is it can be changed over time...man jeeteh jag jeet....

For motivation, we need a purpose in life...some have faith in God and their purpose is to be at one with God, some want success in career and work on that, some want a family etc...anyway firstly find your purpose or create one...

With regards to your thoughts, theres a model used in psychology - called CBT. They look at your thoughts (cognitive), your behaviour your feelings. the concept is, you change one aspect or work on one aspect, and it has a knock on effect on the others. Therefore if you work on your thoughts, it will effect how u behave or feel.

In short, psychologists do the following, but its worth getting a book out on it:

To work on thoughts - you write down the thoughts you have on paper (even the time, what happened, who was there), then when you look over it, u may see a pattern emerging. Maybe certain people make u feel negative, or certain situations. You may notice you have certain thoughts more often. Then you start another column where you write next to your negative distorted thoughts, a more balanced thought (note, not just positive, but balanced). So when you have that negative thought again, you replace it with your balanced thought. The more you do it, the more effective it will be.

Behaviour - the idea is to change your behaviour. If you always respond or act to a situation or people in a certain way and you find it makes u feel crap etc, try reacting to it differently, think about how u cud react differently.

Feelings - people may get anxiety - meditation, relaxation, yoga is good here.

There is also a book about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) tools, which is for any lay person. It goes through techniques that can help you. Its good for anyone that wants to be more effective and build self esteem.

My motto, if you don't like the way things are at the moment, change it, do something different. If you always do the same thing, you will always get the same thing. Get inspired, be inspired and inspire others!!!

[Revolutionary]

Hm so from what I understand:

You feel a lack of motivation

You compare yourself negatively compared to others

Have you also:

Noticed a change in appetite?

Felt down for over 2 weeks?

Find it hard to concentrate?

Notice any change in sleep?

If so PM me or see a doctor.. It could be something you can get fixed my fellow brother/sister

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

I seem to be a pretty negative person, I assume that negative things will happen, I assume the worst and i become stressed very easily. For years i have lacked motivation to do anything, I've been unemployed for months at a time, even when i do have a job I cannot find the motivation to do it, instead i spend time reading websites or doing anything other than the work i should. At times I feel very despondent and when I compare myself to my peers I feel ‘jealous’ that they have achieved so much, in terms of career, job, getting married, making their parents proud, and angry at myself for no achieving anything and not making my parents proud. I have very little confidence in myself and just think I am a loserAlso, I like ladies too much, I spent ages thinking about pretty girls I see (bad I know).

I am slowly getting things in order, starting with the way I look. I’ve started to lose weight, and I’ve gone from 303 pounds to 270 pounds. Is there anything I can do from a spiritual side to help me. I am not the most religious person. I don’t have much will power, even if I go to the Gurdwara a day later I get the envy, lust stuff back in my head. So, please don't reel of a list of paarts because i cannot read punjabi properly. But i do feel calmer after listening to Gurbani, even if i don't understand it, Chaupai sahib in particular.

first thing about mental attitude is not to call yourself a fattie, that righ tthere is really negative, yes we all feel liek we are this adn that , but trust me we are more harsh on ourselves and those on the outside dont even see half of the thigns we fret over..

so i think a positive body image starts by a positive approach and a positive outlook , that along with a goal in mind would make u feel good about urself now and after you achieve your goals

best of luck and stay in chardi kala! u are a guru da sikh after all:) just put things into perspective and dont just dream about them ( not saying you do, just little advice that i can offer) be practical in achieving ur goals

[Jag_Singh]

^^

So, is it negative to call ourselfs: lowest of the low, papi's, moorakhs, etc?

wjkk wjkf

[Wicked Warrior]

There is a difference between negative thinking/low self esteem and being humble, just as there is a difference between egoism and chardi kala.

As others have said, you have the ability to be lazy and you have the ability to be active. All things in life take effort. It's easy to sit in front of the TV/computer and waste time. This is why I allocate a particular amount of time to 'surfing'.

Set your alarm ten minutes early, have your morning wash and then for those ten minutes do some mool mantar paat. Easy to learn and recite. If not, simran of 'Waheguru' is enough for ten minutes.

For the remainder of the day, set yourself tasks. You need to develop discipline. If you're looking for a particular job, say to yourself you will use x amount of time to look for it. Give yourself a time limit. When that's achieved, do something else like housework. eg aim to do your laundry. I hate doing housework so I split it up over the course of the week, so mondays is shopping, tuesdays is day off, weds is laundry, thurs is clean rubbish etc etc.

Your peers are successful from a combination of karma and effort - they've worked for their lifestyles.