Premarital Sex

[kaaur16]

Dear YoungLady jee,

We are sikhs, we stand out. We dont' follow the crowd. We do whats right. What is right or wrong, you can figure it out by just telling your mother. if she says, yeah, go ahead, its right. If she gets all fired up and kicks you out of the house, you know its definitely wrong. Not that I am suggesting to act like a baby and tell your mother before you go to bathroom. But I mean is imagine telling your mom and imagine her reaction for it.

Bakee jo rub nu bhave, tuhanu galat suaadan vich uljhana hai taan rub ne change mande da difference figure out karn dee wisdom nahi deni, je rakhna hai taan He would provide you the wisdom and strength to follow whats right.

Japaju sahib paRna in the begginning vich

ikna hukmee bakhsees, ik hukmee sda bhavaie

what it means is that to some he showers with his grace and to some He keeps entangled in Maya.

lets see where GOD wants to keep you.

Gur Fateh.

Waheguru!

nice comment!

[Mehtab Singh]

what is with all the people around me: some really believe in god, most of them are christians(does not really matter which denomination one has, since we all believe in the same god) and the all do have sex with there boyfriends. are they all sinners?!

Don't worry or bother about them sis. They will answer and pay for their karams. You concentrate on your life, your spiritual development and enjoy the bliss SatGuru Ji has in store for you. The pleasure you will then experience will be a million times greater than what they are having.

[Only five]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !

Transforming Sexual Feelings

thank you for that link, is was really great to listen what he explains.

the thing is: i have read most replies and you all make sense to me, really. you are right, when you say that i must trust god.

but then again, what is with all the people around me: some really believe in god, most of them are christians(does not really matter which denomination one has, since we all believe in the same god) and the all do have sex with there boyfriends. are they all sinners?!

i hope i do not offend anyone with this reply,

it is just what i going on in my mind,

thank you all very much,

bye

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !

I believe Young Lady is looking for a narrow escape route to do the deed. Here if you're looking for one I'll help you out. Why can't i do it everyone else is doing it. This one always works. Well almost always.

I hope you make the correct decision and before using the above excuse think it through.

[Papi]

As I said before, if you want to do it, go right ahead. But do NOT try to find excuses to justify that it's okay as per Sikhi because it is NOT. That has been made crystal clear by every single post in this thread.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Young lady ji,

Am very glad that you have given some thought and making sincere effort to learn & tackle the present problem.

You seem to be a reasonable person therefore would request that you check out the links below.

http://akj.org/skins/one/showVideo.php?vid=KkJbjdnwwIk&title=ANGER%20AND%20LUST&author=SHARECHARITY

http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Lust_Control

Eating heavy, sleeping a lot & being idle normally triggers lustful feelings.

Wisemen suggest that we should eat & sleep less. In addition one must keep himself busy or engaged in some activity to avoid any unwanted distractions.

Some even suggest a work out or cold shower when feeling high on kaam.

Try the above & see what works for you.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[YoungLady]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa !

Waheguru ji ki fateh !

@papi and onlyfive:

In this Youtube Video it does not say to fulfill your sexual desires. It says use this energy and do something positive with it, like learn or do sports and stuff. i was thankful for this video, because it says... lust is something which is normal, but try to create something, instead of having sex. (if i got the video right, otherwise i have to apologize). i apologize if you got the impression that i was trying to justify premarital sex.

@guest: thank you very much for the links.

I thank you all very much!

take care,

bye

Waheguru ji ka khalsa !

Waheguru ji ki fateh !

[KEERPA]

Younglady Ji PAPI was not saying its ok, he was saying if you are going to do it then go do it but "dont justify that it is ok in Sikhi to do such things".

What the video does say is to use that energy for something positive instead of falling for the low practice of worldly pleasure (in which right after you dint accomplish anything) If you are trying to have a child with it then its not merely having intercourse, but if doing it for pleasure then you are wrecking yourself and stooping to maya and kaam etc.

If ya notice I play lots and lots and lots and again lots of music and if bored of playing music I try to learn something new, and I can surely say it works for me and I stick to the adjustment of doing something else to stay in chardikala. Stooping to sex before marraige is a very good way of screwing your life up and adding a mood or aspect of the mind that is "almost" impossible to detour, especially if you are young. Dropping this aspect in life lets you understand the bigger picture of life, and being attached to the thought of sex is downgrading the mind in everyway shape and form. Yes the Gurus had kids but didnt dwell in the fact of pleasure but procreation etc.

My wife and I thought it was gross and totally disgusting the way Guruka SIngh talks in the way he does i.e

at 7min 17 seconds to 7mins 46 seconds [we see his idea but his reference is gross] "she is a juicy pretty little thing, what a sext little girl" (eeewww he is an old man saying this stuff) now him saying this to us was totally disgusting even as a metaphoric refrence. Basically he told us the depth of his thinking upon seeing young women, my wife doesnt like his speaking anymore as he also cusses alot and in my opinion he could watch his mouth when making these videos. If he speaks like that in person i guess he can (its still not ok) but better than speaking on a documented circulating video etc. Sikhi says those who speak filth have filth in the mind. or also

ਚਿਟੇ ਜਿਨ ਕੇ ਕਪੜੇ ਮੈਲੇ ਚਿਤ ਕਠੋਰ ਜੀਉ ॥

chittae jin kae kaparrae mailae chith kathor jeeo ||

Those who wear white clothes, but have filthy and stone-hearted minds,

ਤਿਨ ਮੁਖਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਊਪਜੈ ਦੂਜੈ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਚੋਰ ਜੀਉ ॥

thin mukh naam n oopajai dhoojai viaapae chor jeeo ||

may chant the Lord's Name with their mouths, but they are engrossed in duality; they are thieves.

[Guest Curious]

I wanted to pointed out one thing: Just cause most ppl do feel kaam even once in a lifetime, or that it is a natural feeling, it does not mean that it is even a little bit acceptable for a Sikh to have just a little bit of kaami thoughts. Kaam is kaam. No one should use it as an excuse cause it is natural feeling when talking about our own desires. That just means someone has not tried hard enough to not feel it. Recite Gurbani with love, and you should not feel that way. Works for me, anyway.