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Guest PrivateSikh

Hello,

I'm a 13 year old boy living in a Asian area, I go to a school where Sikhs are the majority. I need some advise, 95% of all the Sikhs in my school cut their hair while 5% keep their hair, I'm in the 'keeping my hair' category. I feel like I want to cut my hair; I'm starting to leave religion and go towards becoming a Atheist; I want to fit in school; and I'm not interested in learning Punjabi. I don't know what to do, my parents have cut their hair but my grandparents want me to keep my hair. Please help!

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Guest NY3HY3

What do you want to hear? You're on a conservative sikh forum. Everyone here is going to tell you to keep your hair. You sound like you're an uncle tom. You don't wanna learn punjabi? So you want to be dumb. Only dumb ignorant people refrain from learning other languages. You want to fit in? No offense, but you're a loser. Blame it on your hair, the fact is, without your hair you are the same person. People still aren't going to like you. It doesn't matter if you go towards the atheist banner. You're not doing a good job reppin sikhism. Rather than learning about your religion and formulating an opinion, you're taking the easy way out. I don't think you know too much about sikhi. I'm not talking about the fundamentals and all those sunday school stories. I'm talking about the theological aspects of it.

If you want to take the cowards way out, go ahead, I encourage you to cut your hair. It'll be better than you maligning sikhism. Get used to being called an uncle tom. Or you can choose to learn about your religion. Why people gave up their lives for their hair.

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Guest Love Your Kesh!

Dear Private Sikh,

You Are Now a Teenager. Choteh SahibZadeh of Guru Gobind Singh Ji Smiled While They Were Shaheed, But They Kept Their Sikhi and Kesh In Tact. The Sahibzadeh of Guru Gobind Singh Ji Were Filled With Khalsa Prem. Guru Gobind Singh Ji Loves His Children. You Are Blessed To Be Amongst Those That Have The Greatest Destiny In Life; To Be A Sikh Of The Greatest Guru. You Are A Child of The Lord; Even If You Are Questioning The Existence. Truth Will Still Remain The Truth. Choteh SahibZadeh, They Showed Us That No Matter How Young a Person Is on Earth, Their Love For Sikhi Must Be Strong. You Should Be The Best Sikh You Can Be, NOW. You Are Fortunate You are Amongst the 5%. The Richest of The World Are Amongst The Lowest Percent; How Fortunate You Are Indeed. If Fact! You Should You Try To Get Into The Top 1%! While You Keep Your Love For Your Hair From Head to Toe, You Should Increase Your Love For The Entire Palace of Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Work Towards Becoming An Amrithdhaaree, and Even Show Your Friends The Greatness of Sikhi. Don’t Become An Atheist. Keep Your Kesh In Tact! This Is Very Important and Beautiful! Guru Nanak, Guru Angad, Guru AmarDaas, Guru RaamDaas, Guru Arjan Dev Ji, Guru HarGobind Ji, Guru Har Rai Ji, Guru Har Krishan Ji, Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji, Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Panj Pyareh And Dhan Dhan GuruGranth Sahib Ji Show Us The Greatness of Sikhi And The Truth Of The All Present Living Lord. You Should Learn Punjabi and GurMukhi and Instruments and Other Languages As Much As You Can. Your Intelligent Mind Should Be Like a Sponge To Take in Great Things While Shunning The Bad. Listen To Your Grandparents, And Love Your Hair From Head To Toe Yourself. Increase Your Love For Guru Day by Day, But Always Remain Within The Fort of The Hair From Head To Toe. Did You Know That Where Guru Gobind Singh Ji Gave Amrit To The Panj Pyareh, That Takhat Sahib Is Called Sri KeshGarh Sahib; Which Means The Fort of Hair. Within The Fort of Hair From Head To Toe, Day by Day, Second By Second Increase Your Love for Sikhi, But Always Remain With The Fort. Do It NOW, Learn From SahibZadeh, They Gave Shaheedee For Us. Bhai Taru Singh Ji Gave Shaheedee To Show Us How To Love Guru’s Sikhi and Kesh. I Have Faith In You. Just The Fact That You Posted, Shows You Love Sikhi and I am Confident You Will Increase Your Love Day by Day, Second by Second, All Whilst Remaining Within The Fort of Hair From Head to Toe. You are Fortunate To Be Amongst The Top Percentile.

And Also Don’t Try To ‘Fit’ In. Exotic Expensive Cars, Private Jets, Expensive Diamonds; They Don’t ‘Fit’ In: They Stand Out! Stand Out Yourself! With Pride and A Smile! You Are Amongst The ‘Rich’; Don’t Lose That!

Also Look on The Forum And Also Read Up More on the Beauty of Kesh That Guru Gave. But Always Remain Within The Fort of Hair, From Head to Toe, This is Very Important, Even While You Learn.

Yours Truly,

With Love. (Scolding Is Good Too :) Keep Your Kesh!)

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Hello,

I'm a 13 year old boy living in a Asian area, I go to a school where Sikhs are the majority. I need some advise, 95% of all the Sikhs in my school cut their hair while 5% keep their hair, I'm in the 'keeping my hair' category. I feel like I want to cut my hair; I'm starting to leave religion and go towards becoming a Atheist; I want to fit in school; and I'm not interested in learning Punjabi. I don't know what to do, my parents have cut their hair but my grandparents want me to keep my hair. Please help!

putting it simply you would be making a mistake if you cut your hair. I made that mistake too when i was about 12, so did a few of my cousins, i regreted it from the very moment, and then i wasted 7 years of convincing myself it was the right decision, but nothing ever went right, i think i probably suffered so much that I found sikhi again.

you need to keep you hair! it is the identity of a Sikh. I think you should even start looking at wearing a dastar if you dont already. if you tie a gol dastar or dhamala then your kesh will not come loose during sports etc , and dastar looks better than a massiv joora :)

learning punjabi will be the best thing you do in your life. trust me, i know from experience.

try to find some good sikh sangat, and try getting involved with your local gurdwara, maybe a gurmat class, or gatka class? how about tabla or kirtan class, then you will make friends who will help you with your sikhi and help you understand things you not sure about.

Hair grows on you body for a reason, why dont you do some research on the internet? and dont try to fit in with the majority, in the world the majority are doing the wrong things, like eating meat, drinking alcohol, cutting hair, smoking, taking drugs, stealing, swearing etc etc, all these things are what the 'majority ' do.......

Always remember we are sons and daughters of Guru Gobind Singh!!! we represent the Khalsa.

Try doing some simran and mool mantar paath in the morning, and then start reading japji sahib and slowly do your full nitnem, that will give you courage to uphold your sikhi, most people will actually like you for standing up for your beliefs.

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We all feel a bit crap at times. Just because you have bad experiences, it shouldn't make you a bad person.

Think of it as this way, your being treated badly because of your hair. Other people in the world are being treated badly because of their skin colour. In both siutations whats happening is unfair. You know nothing is wrong with the skin colour or the hair. Now let's pretend you could change your skin colour - would you change it? Deep down you know nothing is wrong with the colour so isn't it better to keep it and prove that? If you study history people stood up and changed views.

Sikhs are undergoing a similar phase. You need to keep it to prove nothing is wrong with it because as soon as you cut it people will think you knew your beliefs were backwards and now you have been 'educated' and can see the light and this will encourage them to think negatively towards Sikh. Most of us are the first people to come through and so we must educate and not fall into traps. I know it would be easier if someone else had been the first and done all the education but as we're the first, we have to do it otherwise no one else will.

Another problem is that 1st generation Sikhs are not well estabilished. So parents do basic jobs like taxi driver, bus driver, work in newsagent etc. So your socioeconomic status is low and people are not going to listen to your ideas because you are a nobody. At the age of 12-14 the best thing to do is keep your hair, do well, get yourself a good job, become rich and then you can advocate and the same people will look up to you and they will listen to your ideas and tell you how much they respect you and admire you.

Also remember at school kids are brainwashed, everyone wants to be cool, and for them being cool is like looking like the media so it probably hurts when other mona sikhs are so prejudiced. But when they grow up they will realise how they were wrong and trust me they will think about you and may even tell you how wrong they were.

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_PrivateSikh _ jee,

You should be interested in learning punjabi if you are 13 because at that age you want to learn as much as you can about anything. It will help your brain to develop and become more intelligent. As you grow older you will realise picking up as many languages as possible helps in your CV , opens up your options and helps you to communicate with more people. After all as a Sikh, punjabi is your mother tongue and people of other cultures will look down on you for not knowing your mother tongue. Punjabi opens you to the world of Sikhism too because you will be able to read and understand Gurbani which will guide you in living your life, starting from now .

To fit into school, its not achieved by cutting your hair but by picking up social skills, the art of being loving and to be loved, the art of making people laugh, the art of making people be interested in you. If you did real well in your studies, were tops in school in sports, hobbies, physical fitness, music, martial arts, and were very informed of politics, news, etc people wud think of you as a celebrity and want to be your fan. That would make you popular. Focus on poor students in your school, on those who are backward in their studies, those who are handicapped and have physical disabilities and learning difficulties and be a little saint and be their friend. Always be the friend of those who are lonely , who aresad , who have problems . Then you will be like a very very loved saint at school. Remember that at the end of the day you are in school not to fit in, but to walk away from that school with 6-9 A s in your gcses and 4 As at Alevel so you can go to one of the top universities in UK like Cambridge, Oxford, Bristol or Warrick or St Andrews, LSE etc.

You are 13, this is your age to learn about religion not leave religion. Becoming an athiest is simple, just dont believe in God but at 13 you want your mind not to shrink by wanting to know less and learn less. Rather, you want your brain to grow big and clever and intelligent by knowing and learning more and more things, including religion, languages etc etc. A lot of people in my life consider me to be very intelligent but i will tell you my secret . Its because wen i was your age, i was so so hungry for knowledge. I would read about so many things , i was reading so many books about every subject including Sikhism. Every week a huge bundle of books would arrive from the Guru Nanak Missionary society from Singapore, plus i was learning about 5 languages including punjabi. In my school too there were guys who cut their hair, never wanted to read , not interested in languages or Sikhi, where are they today....working in low jobs and struggling to survive somewhere.

So be a good boy and be tops in your school , dont try to mix with gangsters and 'fit in' and focus on your religion, your hair , your language etc. I want to see you at a top university in a few years time, not see you hanging around as a mona guy smoking spliffs and living on benefits and becoming a gangster and getting beaten up by some black guys. So start learning martial arts, gatka and self defence too.

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Humkire has made a fantastic post and you should definately take his advice. PS - Humkire its really good that alot of people consider you to be intelligent. What do you do now?

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Barfi n Mithai jee,

hehe what do i do now? you asked. My dearest beloved veerjee, my shelf life and use by date is almost over haha so now all i do, and want to do is to serve beautiful beautiful blessed Guru ke bhoth hi pyareh nyareh wonderful Gursikhs like yourself (who inspire me more than i can ever say) because you are bringing Sikhi, beautiful wonderful, life giving Sikhi to the coming generations. I am just trying to wrap up things(my business) so i can go live very near Southall to be able to get Gurujee's darshan everyday. Sade vaste roz please ardas keria karo keh asee GURUJEE de pavan Charna vich bhagtee ateh sewa kardeh rehieh ath nimrta nal. thats all that i need.

i have a question too haha do u like barfi and mithai haha as thats your name as making that is one of my hobbies(which aint good for me health haha) . btw im not relli intelligent to b honest . i just survive on Gurujee's wisdom and bakshish wivout which we are all plain simple dust .

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aww I am nothing to inspire people, only God gives us things.

I am so excited....we have similar hobbies!

I love all sweets especially gulan jaman and jaleebi's and of course barfi n mithai!! I like ghur too. I like non sweet things as well - today i made the best dhai from fresh and put those little pakoriya into it. How I love pakoriya vala dhai...mhmmmmmm.... Food is definately one of my hobbies.

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Hello,

I'm a 13 year old boy living in a Asian area, I go to a school where Sikhs are the majority. I need some advise, 95% of all the Sikhs in my school cut their hair while 5% keep their hair, I'm in the 'keeping my hair' category. I feel like I want to cut my hair; I'm starting to leave religion and go towards becoming a Atheist; I want to fit in school; and I'm not interested in learning Punjabi. I don't know what to do, my parents have cut their hair but my grandparents want me to keep my hair. Please help!

Dear One,

You are at a transitional stage in your life, where a lot of what you see and hear around you will begin to challenge the beliefs that

you once held when you were younger.

Naturally, much of our earlier years give rise to our subconscious beliefs. Perhaps, as you mentioned, your grandparents

were inspirational in you keeping a Sovereign Identity. Now the reality that you see around you, is conflicting with

this subconscious belief that you once held, and you feel a duality, or difficulty in overcoming this situation.

We are very much subject to our environment. If you wish to 'fit' in, as many of the mindless masses of today do, do

so, but first reflect carefully if you are willing to become brainwashed by the greater society, or if you wish

to create your own wonderful reality.

The image, or identity that you have been given is a mark of a Saint. The Saintly life offers much to be heralded.

It just appears that we are unable to get this message across to our youth. Your life will be so full of miracles

when you realize the Source of Being that is along side you all the time. When you tap into your own inner potential,

and go along with the positive loving beliefs that have been passed on to you, you will find no challenge to be daunting.

Why should we spend time in Anxiety? "Nanak Chinta Mat Karo, CHinta Tis Hee Hai - Sayeth Nanak, Do not be filled with anxiety,

The Anxiety is the Lords to deal with"

Many Many public Spiritual people are rising up in the west today, to tell people that we are all full of ego. Although we

have great ideas and knowledge, we are not wise or responsible enough to use it in an appropriate manner. There

are so many inspirational projects going on around us, in the silence, but all we are bombarded with is

that which is on television, in films, and in the popular culture that our teenage peers make us perceive to be True.

There is much more to reality than the simple projections of Popular culture that is manifest in school yards.

When you are all alone, in University, making and defining a new path for yourself, these various cultural attitudes

may one day change. You will look back at yourself 10 years earlier and see, hopefully with new awareness,

that there is such primitive behaviour in the human psyche that we are so susceptible to mind viruses that are

planted into us by popular culture. The key term is 'popular', as although it is popular, does not make it True.

For example, at one time cigarette smoking was through to be 'cool', it was popular and in vogue. Through

gradual scientific studies, and realization, people have realized otherwise. The concept that cigarette smoking

was cool, was a mind virus planted into peoples minds through cigarette companies, and advertisements.

The only way one would be able to overcome this is by having strong foundational beliefs, which in your case

comes from your grandparents.

I believe you would do yourself well to study the quotes of Einstein, Leo TOlstoy, Carl Jung, and compare

the ideas of Martin Luther King Jr, and other leaders of today and see how they compare to your beliefs.

Then look more deeply into your understanding and beliefs in Sikhi, and see if they too Inspire you to live

a greater purpose.

Honestly, we need more Honest people to stand out in the world today. We need proactive people who

are not merely living lives dominated by egoistic mind viruses planted into us by popular culture.

This way, we can create peace and harmony with our neighbors, and our mother earth.

Atheism is the promotion of Dogmatic views again by those who control popular culture or society.

Modern science is now swinging into a new realm, by dismantling the dogmatic precepts of Darwinian philosophy.

Scientists are more and more becoming spiritualists. There is much to be said about this topic that can not

simply be discussed here. If you wish to learn more, please read into epigenetics.

Regards

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Please refrain from posting any kiddish stuff here mithai,burfi, gulabjamun etc...someone has posted his or her serious comments about their personal problems they are going through, we should respect their feelings and try and provide with somekinda solutions or show some sympathy.

Respect

Degh Tegh Fateh, Panth ki Jeet

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liveordie4khalsa pyareh jeeo,

we have actually been doing as told and posting lengthy replies and solutions to the person's problems and were just waiting for a response so we can post further and meantime started talking about food and we will behave from now on hehe

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Hello,

I'm a 13 year old boy living in a Asian area, I go to a school where Sikhs are the majority. I need some advise, 95% of all the Sikhs in my school cut their hair while 5% keep their hair, I'm in the 'keeping my hair' category. I feel like I want to cut my hair; I'm starting to leave religion and go towards becoming a Atheist; I want to fit in school; and I'm not interested in learning Punjabi. I don't know what to do, my parents have cut their hair but my grandparents want me to keep my hair. Please help!

http://sikhithoughts.blogspot.com/2010/03/importance-of-kes-hair-to-sikh.html

If "fitting in" is more important to you than anything else, then go ahead and cut your kes....

But 'fitting in' seems like a pretty lame reason doesnt it? The truth is you don't know WHY we keep out ke, you don't understand our HISTORY, our FAITH. It comes down to YOU to find out. Once you do that, I'm pretty sure you'd keep your kes....

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Guest Kabir

My younger brother its sweet of you seeking our advice.

First, i know u r very smart. tell me, if 95% of sikhs cut their head, will you join them? If your answer is no then y now?

My dear, keeping your hair is the initial stage to reach Satgur. Only few people are blessed wiith this precious gift.

I must say u start listening Sant Singh Maskeen Ji's Katha. Its very easy to understand what he is sayin in simple punjabi.

"Gur ka Sikh" is only who follow his way................

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