Soooo Depressed!1!

[Guest help]

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh

There are a few things on my mind please bear with me.

i think i need professional help, but i can’t afford it. i feel very lost.

i just want to be left alone, and i hate when people can’t see that. but then at the same time, i’m so, crushingly lonely and just want to be around the people i love, and i hate that i have to hide that from people because they’ll think i’m too clingy.

i’ve been with this guy for about a year and a half that i met at uni. i love him very much but i know in my heart he still has feelings for this girl he was engaged with for a little while. i wish he’d just tell me, i love him so much that i don’t want to end it before it’s time.

i lost my first boyfriend of 3 years and now it’s happening again.

at least once a day, i think about what things would be like if i weren’t around anymore. i’m desperate.

[Guest helper]

u were right

u do need professional

my dear, this is a Sikh forum, we can only attempt to advise u in terms of sikhi

if thats what u want, welcome aboard

if u want someone who can listen to u and offer u advise, u may or may not be at the best place, depending on what ur looking for

lets wait for some more replies

only thing i can say is...just hang in there for now and dont think too much

most of the time its our own "out-of-limits" thinking that does the maximum emotional damage

so relax...visualize it all as God's own drama...sit back and watch life unfold itself

and yes, i repeat, wait for some more replies

hope u find peace with His grace , and soon!

[humkire]

if u are in the UK u go see yur gp and say u need counselling etc and you will be refered via the NHS and its free . do say which country you are in as a start . ll reply more laters

[JustME]

There are a few things on my mind please bear with me.

i think i need professional help, but i can't afford it. i feel very lost.

you make a good point, my mum suffers from depression and all the nhs want to do is pump her full of drugs....its natural to get lost onlong the way when journeying through life.....the problems begin wen we fail to see the signposts around that tell us the right direction to go to...

i just want to be left alone, and i hate when people can't see that. but then at the same time, i'm so, crushingly lonely and just want to be around the people i love, and i hate that i have to hide that from people because they'll think i'm too clingy.

hmmmm it seems to me that u have massive self-esteem issues.....rather than being yourself around people ur first thought is about how you are percieved by others...........again something many of us go through.....but when you find it impossible to be around people without worrying about their perceptions you.....your own identity is lost.....hence the depression.....depression is simply when the mind tries to supress what it truly is.....a wonderful, infinate tool of God where everything is possible....

Mind is also, at the same time, a double edged sword.......you can use it for good or evil....depending on what force is dominating you.....if u are filled with self loathing, low esteem, negative thoughts, you will never see anything around you as good...

i've been with this guy for about a year and a half that i met at uni. i love him very much but i know in my heart he still has feelings for this girl he was engaged with for a little while. i wish he'd just tell me, i love him so much that i don't want to end it before it's time.

from the sounds of your previous statement my dear its sounds like you barely love yourself....how can u possibly love someone? or even know what love is, in ur current frame of mind? Im not knowledgable in this area so please forgive me if i have spoken out of term.

i lost my first boyfriend of 3 years and now it's happening again.

Again it seems to me that u dont not feel worthy of love.....and you have put ur current partner in the same light as your last....again is the problem with them? our your state of mind?

at least once a day, i think about what things would be like if i weren't around anymore. i'm desperate.

what are you desperate for? belonging? peace of mind?

the previous poster was right in that seeking professional help is probably the best way....theres Womans Aid...at least i think thats what they are called...try doing something small each day,...ou..like writing a gratitude journal......get a notebook....everyday.....write the date....and each thing that has made u smile.....or something that u feel greatful for....it can be anything from a little baby laughing, to something you watched on telly....an inspiring story....your health, job, family, friends, each day the more you shift your focus from all the negative aspects of your life to the positive aspects....you will begin to feel better......

waheguru

[AmarjitKaur]

i just want to be left alone, and i hate when people can't see that. but then at the same time, i'm so, crushingly lonely and just want to be around the people i love, and i hate that i have to hide that from people because they'll think i'm too clingy.

i've been with this guy for about a year and a half that i met at uni. i love him very much but i know in my heart he still has feelings for this girl he was engaged with for a little while. i wish he'd just tell me, i love him so much that i don't want to end it before it's time.

i lost my first boyfriend of 3 years and now it's happening again.

at least once a day, i think about what things would be like if i weren't around anymore. i'm desperate.

Gur Fateh Bhenjeeo,

I may not do the best job at guiding you, but I am going to try, with waheguru's grace. waheguru jee kirpa karan.

Feeling alone and at the same time not to get bothered by anyone, seems like signs of mind being too much free.

I might have said 100 times on this forum that "Man jeetai jag jeet". Its all minds game. Mind makes us beggers, mind makes us richest person in the world. Mind tells us we are the most miserable person one day and mind tells us we are the happiest person in the world on another day. Think about it, we are same person but our feelings change from time to time. WHY?? I know this as I have gone through this and still go through it to some extent, but the frequency and level has decreased so much. More unstable the mind is, more sharp valleys and peaks we see on this sine wave of mind.

Your mind needs to be busy. Its free thinking about stuff that it doesn't have to be. You need to suppress the mind activities and go on about focusing on your studies (from boyfriend business going on, I am assuming your are school/college going girl).

I will write more later, but now, just read this

The Interview With God Poem

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”

“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered…

“That they get bored with childhood,

they rush to grow up, and then

long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money…

and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,

they forget the present,

such that they live in neither

the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they will never die,

and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine

and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked…

“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons

you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone

love them. All they can do

is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good

to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive

by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds

to open profound wounds in those they love,

and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person

is not one who has the most,

but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people

who love them dearly,

but simply have not yet learned

how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can

look at the same thing

and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they

forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,” I said humbly.

“Is there anything else

you would like your children to know?”

God smiled and said,

“Just know that I am here… always.”

-author unknown

I have it posted on my wall and like to read it time to time. Whoever wrote it, great job and so touching. AND SO TRUE. You will find the truth in it as you would keep going on your journey of life.

[AmarjitKaur]

Here is another one, I just received by email. \

******************

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right.. Pray for the ones who don't."

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

*************

[SunSingh]

a powerful help for depression is meditation. sit down, relax, try not to move and keep the spine straight. meditate one mala at least (108 repetitions) of the mool mantar. The energy from this will help uplift you.

Another powerful help is cardio exercise, especially early in the morning. I do recommend you seek professional help. If you dont' want to use drugs you can always ask to use natural alternatives first, see if they work before tryign any drugs. Penji, you need to realise that happiness comes from within, Gurbani and satsangat will help you realise this.

[Guest You'll live...]

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=3176

slok mÚ 3 ]

salok ma 3 ||

Salok, Third Mehla:

iDRgu eyh Awsw dUjy Bwv kI jo moih mwieAw icqu lwey ]

dhhrig eaeh aasaa dhoojae bhaav kee jo mohi maaeiaa chith laaeae ||

Cursed are the hopes in the love of duality; they tie the consciousness to love and attachment to Maya.

hir suKu pl@ir iqAwigAw nwmu ivswir duKu pwey ]

har sukh palhar thiaagiaa naam visaar dhukh paaeae ||

One who forsakes the peace of the Lord in exchange for straw, and forgets the Naam, suffers in pain.

mnmuK AigAwnI AMDuly jnim mrih iPir AwvY jwey ]

manamukh agiaanee a(n)dhhulae janam marehi fir aavai jaaeae ||

The ignorant self-willed manmukhs are blind. They are born, only to die again, and continue coming and going.

kwrj isiD n hovnI AMiq gieAw pCuqwey ]

kaaraj sidhh n hovanee a(n)th gaeiaa pashhuthaaeae ||

Their affairs are not resolved, and in the end, they depart, regretting and repenting.

ijsu krmu hovY iqsu siqguru imlY so hir hir nwmu iDAwey ]

jis karam hovai this sathigur milai so har har naam dhhiaaeae ||

One who is blessed with the Lord's Grace, meets the True Guru; he alone meditates on the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

nwim rqy jn sdw suKu pwiein@ jn nwnk iqn bil jwey ]1]

naam rathae jan sadhaa sukh paaeinih jan naanak thin bal jaaeae ||1||

Imbued with the Naam, the humble servants of the Lord find a lasting peace; servant Nanak is a sacrifice to them. ||1||

[TejiKaur]

listen to Sukhmani sahib and read along

do it at least once a day BUT READ THE MEANING

let the bani trickle down

ull b cured

bay shuck- promise

[HKJ0102]

Hi all

I would like to introduce myself to this forum. I've not joined any forum except this one as I'm in need of spiritual and mental guidance from fellow sikh people. Before I go speak to other family members or seek professional help I would be greatful for any advice and help on here including any paats, shabats to read (or listen to) to help me with my problem that's tearing me apart deep down.

Heres my story....

I'm 27years old and fully educated with degrees etc living in the UK (been born here and brought up here) working in the NHS in a good job living away from my parents and hometown. Anyway because of my age my family are really bullying me about marriage. Everytime I go home to visit my parents and brothers (who are slightly younger than me) I'm always getting the same thing everytime and now my brother who's (25yrs old) seems miserable because he's getting it from other family members and with me being the eldest Its always gets back to me.

The thing is being a good sikh girl, I'm already in love with a guy but he's white. I met him when I was at University through a friend and we became close and eventually he's been my bestest friend like no-one has been there for me and been good friends for a couple of years before we started taking things further.

He's such a great guy, never swears, has never done anything to hurt me (like cheated on me) always supporting me and helping me out and very loving and caring and have been together for about 2years. My two brothers and cousins have met him and love him but the problem is that I've not told my parents as I'm very afraid, frightened and scared as to what they'll do and say to me OR maybe i'l get beaten black and blue...

My boyfriend knows all this stuff with my family yet he's still caring and wants to be with me and I'm so happy with him however my brother hurt my feelings the other week and said that i don't deserve to be happy and do what my family says. This isn't fair..... my family moved from India/Africa to live here in the Uk and brought children up here so why can't they accept that this is what's is going to happen. I've worked my heart mind and soul to do what they wanted me to ever since i was young. Despite suffering a tormented childhood, I still became a kind hearted, friendly caring person who followed God went to college, uni etc and got a good job at the end of it.

I'm usually a happy person when I'm away from my hometown enjoying activites like exercising etc with my boyfriend and when I'm home I'm becoming more and more miserable and down because of this.... My brother and cousins have said "why don't you tell the truth" but i just don't know how .......... I hope and pray I don't hurt anyone including myself, my boyfriend or my family.

One of my cousins cousins got married to a white boy in Jan 2010 (shes 28) but her family took 2years to get finally accept it... what if mine don't ever accept me or him?

How do I go about this. Go about it where I don't blurt everything out in a angry state when my family are shouting... especially my nan whos's always shouting at me and I have tried to explain that I'l find my own boy but she gets even more angry and shouts over me and reports back to my parents and other uncles and aunts and it starts all over again. I've tolerated it for so long now but now I'm constantly dreading going to see her and relatives.

I have recently thought about talking to another auntie or uncle someone who will understand and support me throughout and back me up. I know my brothers and cousins will but at the end of the day I think "what if I am a disappoinment just because I am different to them all in the way I do things.....".

Maybe not tell the entire truth just yet..... Maybe say I'm in love with a boy i've known for about 6yrs and he's been my best friend and we've gotten close? ..... Ohh...... Please waheguru keep me and everyone I love happy.