Need Your Help - Thank You So Much In Advance

[Guest completely lost]

Hello everyone,

I have a story to tell. I am telling you guys because :1. I cant tell anyone else. 2. I need advice.

I was a girl who lived in her own world. I loved my family and my life revolved around them. When i turned 17, i started to taking to this guy from school on msn. We became good friends. I was not interested into dating or anything and i made it clear. As time passed by, i started liking him and i thought he liked me too. We gave off hints but never really said anything. It is against my principles to date etc. esp at such a young age. We stayed friends and talked online . Sometimes, he would say things like how when we were older he will marry me and so on. I took it seriously.

Now after three years, another girl came into his life. He started to talking to her and started to avoid me. I have to be okay with it because i cannot expect anyone to wait for me for so long but it hurts me way too much. I told him i cannot talk to him anymore because i don’t want come in between him and his new girl.

I don’t want to be consumed by anger or jealousy. I just need some advice on how to move on and forget him. Does anyone know any shabads that can help me? Any paath from guru granth sahib ji that can help me understand the deeper meaning of life and move on. I can’t seem to let go. I constantly think about how he is probably talking to that girl and telling her all the things he told me. It hurts way too much. I want to be mature about this situation but i am in so much pain. I know i made a mistake....so any words of advice are welcome. thank you in advance

- completely lost

[Only five]

Read Sri Sukhmani Sahib, Rehraas Sahib(including full Chaupai Sahib and Anand Sahib), Jaap Sahib, and the daily Hukamnama from Sri Darbar Sahib.

Cut off all ties with him. If you don't you'll end up tripping over yourself and making things up in your head that you believe exist, but in reality, it's just you going crazy.

When your mentally strong enough to understand the reality, then it won't be a problem seeing him around or talking to him. But this only happens if you have a strong self-discipline.

[AmarjitKaur]

As you probably would have expected me saying something, here is my suggestion.

apne aap nu busy kar lao. enna busy kar lao, ke es issue/topic/matter/stuff bare sochaN da mauka hee na mile.

here is one way to keep you busy. When you have one hr on hand, do sukhmani sahib, when 30-40 mins., dukh bhanjni sahib, 20mins on hand, do Japuji sahib during the day and rehras sahib in the eve., five mins on hand, do chaupai sahib. When you have 1-2 mins., slowly do Moolmantar, and when only few seconds, keep saying vaheguru vaheguru.

if you keep getting distracted by thoughts, say this "Gur merai sang sda hai naale" and feel it that Guru Sahib is really holding your finger or watching you from distance.

And yes, start moving out of this box of you and him being there. means, build new friendships, not necessarily with boys to fill his void, but to occupy that friend void ( I do not suggest chatting friend though, its more healthy to have a live friend, with whom you can go running, shopping, have live discussion, share stories face to face).

YOu will be all fine. We all go through this. We build a world around one person to the level that it becomes our weakness. And then that world shatters one day suddenly or slowly.

We need to belong to the universe not to one person or thing.

Je Guru da saath hamesha apne naal samajhoge, dooje sathan dee jaroorat hee nahi paini.

We are sufficient enough to be just united with Bani, but we should not isolate ourselves either as waheguru jee is within all around us. But as Guru Sahib says, refrain from attachment, which you are suffering from at the moment. Replace that attachment with attachment with Bani.

Gur ang sang.

[Mehtab Singh]

this post is to make "completely lost" bhenji laugh, and cheer her up...

anyone who doesnt have a sense of humor as messed up as mine, please ignore this post!!!

Hello everyone

leh, Fateh blauni si

bolo...VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA! VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH!

I have a story to tell.

kehdi? ikk raja si, ikk rani si?

I am telling you guys because :1. I cant tell anyone else. 2. I need advice.

You mean, add vice? hawww!!!

I was a girl who lived in her own world.

hadh hogi, mere ton rent ni ditta janda, tusi world kitho bna leya apna? :|

I loved my family and my life revolved around them.

tuhadi life haigi ja tennis ball? revolve kardi?

When i turned 17, i started to taking to this guy from school on msn.

haaye haaye!!! esli mai kenna MSN should be banned for under 18!!!

We became good friends.

aho pello ahi hunda

I was not interested into dating or anything and i made it clear.

nah, edda kakh ni clear hunda

As time passed by, i started liking him and i thought he liked me too.

dekheya, mai keha si nah, kakh ni clear hunda!!!

We gave off hints but never really said anything.

leh, eda matlab "give us a clue" khed'de si doway?

It is against my principles to date etc. esp at such a young age.

yes, only have the khajoor dates in winter, its good, baki is a no no.

We stayed friends and talked online .

achaaaaa!!!!

Sometimes, he would say things like how when we were older he will marry me and so on.

ohnu kehna si likh ke de

I took it seriously.

without written signature?

Now after three years, another girl came into his life.

hai Rabba! eh "came into" barra kamm khraab karda, life nah hoi apartment ho giya.

He started to talking to her and started to avoid me.

nai eh te galt gall aa...oh kehda gaana si, tenu bhull ge yaar praane naweya de gall lagg ke...

I have to be okay with it because i cannot expect anyone to wait for me for so long

ki matlab? ohnu waiting room ch bithaaya hoya si?

but it hurts me way too much.

aatma da pain killer laawo...Gurbani !!!! :D

I told him i cannot talk to him anymore

kyon? maun vart rakh leya?

because i don't want come in between him and his new girl.

acha...matlab tuhanu sandvich nai bann'na

[ok my quotes stopped working after this, so im gonna use bold and italics]

I don't want to be consumed by anger or jealousy.

u make it sound like ur a food product and "anger" and "jealousy" are customers at a restaurant.

I just need some advice on how to move on and forget him.

read the posts above by bhenji

Does anyone know any shabads that can help me?

im sure some1 will post

Any paath from guru granth sahib ji that can help me understand the deeper meaning of life and move on.

bhenji has suggested above

I can't seem to let go.

close ur eyes...take a deep breath...breathe in...breathe out...tell urself, im gonna let go...tell him in ur mind, go go go...now open ur eyes, and sit in cross legged position...ok enough, now im sounding like a yoga instructor...

I constantly think about how he is probably talking to that girl and telling her all the things he told me.

hmmm, so he cant be honest to either 1

It hurts way too much.

make Gurbani ur strength, it will never let u down.

I want to be mature about this situation but i am in so much pain.

koi gall ni Guru pyaareo, himmat rakho...ur very young, and these experiences happen, sometimes more than once...relax...take it easy, see it as Vaheguru's play...if u like coca cola and pop corn, grab some and enjoy His drama!

I know i made a mistake....

we all make mistakes...we are human beings...we are made from the mud of galtiyaan...galti se mishtake ho giya...

so any words of advice are welcome.

fer add vice karna tusi??

thank you in advance

lehh, kadi welcome, kadi thank u...make up ur mind

now thats what really makes me proud of u...inspite of all this, ur still smiling...do u see how strong ur already? do u see how much of a true Sikh ur already? im so proud of u...i wish i was strong like u, and a firm Sikh like ur!!

completely lost

no...ur NOT lost at all...ur blessed!!!

if my stupid sense of humor made no sense to u, then please ignore my post...i only wanted u to have a good laugh and cheer up

sorry if i made a fool of myself...but thats nothing new :D

[completely lost]

Read Sri Sukhmani Sahib, Rehraas Sahib(including full Chaupai Sahib and Anand Sahib), Jaap Sahib, and the daily Hukamnama from Sri Darbar Sahib.

Cut off all ties with him. If you don't you'll end up tripping over yourself and making things up in your head that you believe exist, but in reality, it's just you going crazy.

When your mentally strong enough to understand the reality, then it won't be a problem seeing him around or talking to him. But this only happens if you have a strong self-discipline.

Your right.... I have to be mentally strong to go through this... I guess that's what I lack but I'll try to improve myself! Thank you so much for the all of the suggestions

As you probably would have expected me saying something, here is my suggestion.

apne aap nu busy kar lao. enna busy kar lao, ke es issue/topic/matter/stuff bare sochaN da mauka hee na mile.

here is one way to keep you busy. When you have one hr on hand, do sukhmani sahib, when 30-40 mins., dukh bhanjni sahib, 20mins on hand, do Japuji sahib during the day and rehras sahib in the eve., five mins on hand, do chaupai sahib. When you have 1-2 mins., slowly do Moolmantar, and when only few seconds, keep saying vaheguru vaheguru.

if you keep getting distracted by thoughts, say this "Gur merai sang sda hai naale" and feel it that Guru Sahib is really holding your finger or watching you from distance.

And yes, start moving out of this box of you and him being there. means, build new friendships, not necessarily with boys to fill his void, but to occupy that friend void ( I do not suggest chatting friend though, its more healthy to have a live friend, with whom you can go running, shopping, have live discussion, share stories face to face).

YOu will be all fine. We all go through this. We build a world around one person to the level that it becomes our weakness. And then that world shatters one day suddenly or slowly.

We need to belong to the universe not to one person or thing.

Je Guru da saath hamesha apne naal samajhoge, dooje sathan dee jaroorat hee nahi paini.

We are sufficient enough to be just united with Bani, but we should not isolate ourselves either as waheguru jee is within all around us. But as Guru Sahib says, refrain from attachment, which you are suffering from at the moment. Replace that attachment with attachment with Bani.

Gur ang sang.

You are wonderful.... really.... just reading that made me feel 10 times better. I am def. going to keep myself busy so I can avoid useless thoughts. It's going to be hard but I am going to do it!

[completely lost]

this post is to make "completely lost" bhenji laugh, and cheer her up...

anyone who doesnt have a sense of humor as messed up as mine, please ignore this post!!!

Hello everyone

leh, Fateh blauni si

bolo...VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA! VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH!

I have a story to tell.

kehdi? ikk raja si, ikk rani si?

I am telling you guys because :1. I cant tell anyone else. 2. I need advice.

You mean, add vice? hawww!!!

I was a girl who lived in her own world.

hadh hogi, mere ton rent ni ditta janda, tusi world kitho bna leya apna? :|

I loved my family and my life revolved around them.

tuhadi life haigi ja tennis ball? revolve kardi?

When i turned 17, i started to taking to this guy from school on msn.

haaye haaye!!! esli mai kenna MSN should be banned for under 18!!!

We became good friends.

aho pello ahi hunda

He started to talking to her and started to avoid me.

nai eh te galt gall aa...oh kehda gaana si, tenu bhull ge yaar praane naweya de gall lagg ke...

I have to be okay with it because i cannot expect anyone to wait for me for so long

ki matlab? ohnu waiting room ch bithaaya hoya si?

but it hurts me way too much.

aatma da pain killer laawo...Gurbani !!!! :D

I told him i cannot talk to him anymore

kyon? maun vart rakh leya?

because i don't want come in between him and his new girl.

acha...matlab tuhanu sandvich nai bann'na

[ok my quotes stopped working after this, so im gonna use bold and italics]

I don't want to be consumed by anger or jealousy.

u make it sound like ur a food product and "anger" and "jealousy" are customers at a restaurant.

I just need some advice on how to move on and forget him.

read the posts above by bhenji

Does anyone know any shabads that can help me?

im sure some1 will post

Any paath from guru granth sahib ji that can help me understand the deeper meaning of life and move on.

bhenji has suggested above

I can't seem to let go.

close ur eyes...take a deep breath...breathe in...breathe out...tell urself, im gonna let go...tell him in ur mind, go go go...now open ur eyes, and sit in cross legged position...ok enough, now im sounding like a yoga instructor...

I constantly think about how he is probably talking to that girl and telling her all the things he told me.

hmmm, so he cant be honest to either 1

It hurts way too much.

make Gurbani ur strength, it will never let u down.

I want to be mature about this situation but i am in so much pain.

koi gall ni Guru pyaareo, himmat rakho...ur very young, and these experiences happen, sometimes more than once...relax...take it easy, see it as Vaheguru's play...if u like coca cola and pop corn, grab some and enjoy His drama!

I know i made a mistake....

we all make mistakes...we are human beings...we are made from the mud of galtiyaan...galti se mishtake ho giya...

so any words of advice are welcome.

fer add vice karna tusi??

thank you in advance

lehh, kadi welcome, kadi thank u...make up ur mind

now thats what really makes me proud of u...inspite of all this, ur still smiling...do u see how strong ur already? do u see how much of a true Sikh ur already? im so proud of u...i wish i was strong like u, and a firm Sikh like ur!!

completely lost

no...ur NOT lost at all...ur blessed!!!

if my stupid sense of humor made no sense to u, then please ignore my post...i only wanted u to have a good laugh and cheer up

sorry if i made a fool of myself...but thats nothing new :D

Thank you for trying to make me smile! It worked . I wish I was more like you.... I wish I didn't over analyze things so much and just let them be.....

Also, Thank you for seeing some strength in me because I almost forgot that I can be a strong individual.

Your sense of humor is amazing and the world needs more people like you! Thank you so much again! The message you gave me through your jokes was really strong and I am so happy that the world has people like you and everyone else on this forum. The positive energy that you guys have is marvelous.

[TuhiNirankar]

Piyare Bhanjeoo

Either Go to the Gurdwara or at home infront of a Gutka/pothi sahib do ardaas to Guru Sahib,,

Just Pour your heart out to Guru Sahib,

Surrender to Guru Sahib, Say I have no power i cant let go please free me and take away my pain and give me naam

Reading Bani will soothe ur pain and give u strength,

Take whatever happened in this situation as a very Important Lesson that u were to learn,, u should be happy u learned be4, u are my innocent little bhanay,,, that is why we have to go thru such situations so we gain wisdom of how ppl are in this world, These situations open our eyes and its one of those things u have to go thru so that it is engrained in ur mind,,

if sumone were to tell us ahead of time dont do this or that, we have a hard time listening becuz we learn from our own mistakes,,

Guru Sahib is Sad Bakhshind 4ever forgiving, just as a mother piks up her child that has gotten their clothes all dirty but she still hugs him in her embrace,,

in that way we are covered with countless sins form countless life forms

but whenever we call to Guru Sahib we are piken up from the deep pit we have digged ourselves into,

pRB kIjY ik®pw inDwn hm hir gun gwvhgy ]

prabh keejai kirapaa nidhhaan ham har gun gaavehagae ||

O God, Treasure of Mercy, please bless me, that I may sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord.

hau qumrI krau inq Aws pRB moih kb gil lwvihgy ]1] rhwau ]

ho thumaree karo nith aas prabh mohi kab gal laavehigae ||1|| rehaao ||

I always place my hopes in You; O God, when will you take me in Your Embrace? ||1||Pause||

hm bwirk mugD ieAwn ipqw smJwvihgy ]

ham baarik mugadhh eiaan pithaa samajhaavehigae ||

I am a foolish and ignorant child; Father, please teach me!

Also Listen to as much bani as u can during the day, at home in the car at the store, and even while u sleep play kirtan/bani at a lower volume

You can download tracks from this site http://gursevak.com/greebi.html which are tracks from Gareebi pothi which are a collection of realy humble lines of bani with the meanings, so listen to those or play them in your room so going in and out of your room Bani goes into your ears

<3

Advice from ur sistro

ahahah mehtab singh u crack me up :lol:

[mskcan]

Ji,

There is one very powerful way that you can overcome this 'dilemma'...

However, be ware, it is so powerful, you have to be careful in its use. For the unguided mind can use it incorrectly.

If you wish to let your heart go of any pain or anguish, merely concentrate on the idea/concept/feeling,

and say to It... "I Don't Care about _____."

In order to overcome the powerful ability of the words "I Don't care" to make you absolutely

not care about the thing at hand, think about the things that you do like, and say to them

"I care about (volunteering/riding bicycle/studying for University)", and let your heart focussed

attention move to that. This will re-route your heart strings appropriately. without

destroying any and all feeling inside of you.

But be careful, as I said...

[TuhiNirankar]

Article: Words of Power

http://www.mrsikhnet.com/index.php/2010/04/09/words-of-power/

Video: the word is sacred:

http://www.sikhnet.com/video/word-sacred

[Mehtab Singh]

Thank you for trying to make me smile! It worked.

yayyyyyyy!!!!

I wish I was more like you....

No you don't! I am bearded!

I wish I didn't over analyze things so much and just let them be.....

If I said that to my mom during my school years, she would say "no wonder you never manage to pass"

Also, Thank you for seeing some strength in me because I almost forgot that I can be a strong individual.

You are the daughter of Naasro Mansoor Sahib-E-Kamaal Kalgidhar Shahenshah Dasve Patshah Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj Baaja Vaali Sarkaar. If you won't be strong, then who will be? Please note that I am not calling you fat, just strong

Your sense of humor is amazing

Someone or the other says that every now and then, thank you :D

and the world needs more people like you!

awwwww thats so sweet! Yes, more skinny people like me means lesser weight for earth.

Thank you so much again!

oye bas kar ja hunn, thank Gurujee, not me :D

The message you gave me through your jokes was really strong

Now you calling me fat? But I said I am skinny!

and I am so happy that the world has people like you

It also has many who are much better than me.

and everyone else on this forum.

There is no one else like me, because people have better things to do

The positive energy that you guys have is marvelous.

Yes, we used to be an "energy drink" forum.

Now on a serious note, take my word for it, if this guy was just an online MSN relationship, it may not take you long to get over him once you find your soul mate in real life, the one God has made for you. People are something else when they chat online, something else when you talk on the phone, and something totally different in reality. What you think you "fell in love with" is not exactly this person, its a combination of (1) his picture (if you ever saw it), (2) his voice (if you ever talked on the phone), (3) the stuff he talked about (which attracted you to him), and (4) the way he made you feel. Thats what you "fell in love with". Now don't stay fallen, read Gurbani and let it pump you with the strength to get up.

Bas fer balle balle! :D