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kaur12345

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kaur12345 Explorer

kaur12345

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Ive just come out of a relationship with a Gursikh which lasted for 2years, He had the image of a gursikh wore a Durmalla etc... But never had the heart and mind or respect for others.

For example this singh had many realtionships with many felmales and continued to flirt with other kuriya while commited to the me. However he flirted and done bad sin for example sex. And trust was a issue and ending it and moved on to the next kuri in weeks. Even the family all knew that I was in a relationship with him, Having no respect used me and attends ransbhais and looks a loving person on the outside but the inside is horrible doesn't have no respect and think he knows about sikhi but doesn't if he knew about sikhi he shouldn't go toward the 5 evils in sikhi...

Im not the one to talk as I am not amritary but I am going down that path with guidence because I know what was my past was a bad sin so for me to become pure is to ask for forgivenss from guruji and go down the right path but he doesn't seem to learn...Why I don't no He has destroyed me as i'm finding it hard to come to terms but i still feel hurt when i see him at kirtan programms all happy life no care no sorry nothing. Why do they get involved and do stuff like that? being a Gursikh means to control yourself and having respect. How do It try and forget my past?, How I look forward in live with out the past comming in my mind? I do my paat everyday listen to kirtan...I come from a family that are all amritdary that guide me too but. somethings is hard to dicuss i just try and smile and say its all ok.

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sherlsurj Veteran

sherlsurj

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hes a fool u deserve so much better! 4get him he sounds like he was just after one thing. seems liked uve lost confidence but u shudnt concentrate on urself for a while. ive been thru sumfin similar and i still get upset but talking about it helps. if u awnna talk to me just pm

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Guest ananoymous

Guest ananoymous

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Yea thats true penjee.... fake amritthari's are becoming more and more common, one thing beautiful about sikhi is, by constantly doing Vaheguru sirman, you will soon forget this - obviously it wil still come to your mind now and again, but power Gurbani is that the thoughts will come in one ear and go out the other instantly - just keep doing simran...

but i'm guessing you weren't married to him?....so what you should understand is that having any type of relationship before marriage is bad as the main points of Sikhi is to be desireless....even if you ahve a relationship and theres no contact or anything etc - such things have an affect on the mind, where your mind will go towards lust etc

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God Is 1 Explorer

God Is 1

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Yea thats true penjee.... fake amritthari's are becoming more and more common, one thing beautiful about sikhi is, by constantly doing Vaheguru sirman, you will soon forget this - obviously it wil still come to your mind now and again, but power of Gurbani is that the thoughts will come in one ear and go out the other instantly - just keep doing simran...

but i'm guessing you weren't married to him?....so what you should understand is that having any type of relationship before marriage is bad as the main points of Sikhi is to be desireless....even if you have a relationship and theres no contact or anything etc - such things have an affect on the mind, where your mind will go towards lust etc

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jaswinder singh Veteran

jaswinder singh

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Ive just come out of a relationship with a Gursikh which lasted for 2years, He had the image of a gursikh wore a Durmalla etc... But never had the heart and mind or respect for others.

For example this singh had many realtionships with many felmales and continued to flirt with other kuriya while commited to the me. However he flirted and done bad sin for example sex. And trust was a issue and ending it and moved on to the next kuri in weeks. Even the family all knew that I was in a relationship with him, Having no respect used me and attends ransbhais and looks a loving person on the outside but the inside is horrible doesn't have no respect and think he knows about sikhi but doesn't if he knew about sikhi he shouldn't go toward the 5 evils in sikhi...

Im not the one to talk as I am not amritary but I am going down that path with guidence because I know what was my past was a bad sin so for me to become pure is to ask for forgivenss from guruji and go down the right path but he doesn't seem to learn...Why I don't no He has destroyed me as i'm finding it hard to come to terms but i still feel hurt when i see him at kirtan programms all happy life no care no sorry nothing. Why do they get involved and do stuff like that? being a Gursikh means to control yourself and having respect. How do It try and forget my past?, How I look forward in live with out the past comming in my mind? I do my paat everyday listen to kirtan...I come from a family that are all amritdary that guide me too but. somethings is hard to dicuss i just try and smile and say its all ok.

Though i feel you are getting right guidance from yr family, just feel relieved that you have got rid of a bhekhi Sikh , for our sins , if we really

do tauba fronm the past , the Guru and the Goid is always benevolent (dayal , kirpal , rahim , karim are the words used in gurbani ) and surely guides towards virtue if we just try and leave every thing to HIM , so forget about the past , just have faith in his forgiveness and try

to mould yourself in a manner you feel is virtuous .He ia always with you

may you get His blessings

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Pheena Grand Master

Pheena

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Ive just come out of a relationship with a Gursikh which lasted for 2years, He had the image of a gursikh wore a Durmalla etc... But never had the heart and mind or respect for others.

For example this singh had many realtionships with many felmales and continued to flirt with other kuriya while commited to the me. However he flirted and done bad sin for example sex. And trust was a issue and ending it and moved on to the next kuri in weeks. Even the family all knew that I was in a relationship with him, Having no respect used me and attends ransbhais and looks a loving person on the outside but the inside is horrible doesn't have no respect and think he knows about sikhi but doesn't if he knew about sikhi he shouldn't go toward the 5 evils in sikhi...

Im not the one to talk as I am not amritary but I am going down that path with guidence because I know what was my past was a bad sin so for me to become pure is to ask for forgivenss from guruji and go down the right path but he doesn't seem to learn...Why I don't no He has destroyed me as i'm finding it hard to come to terms but i still feel hurt when i see him at kirtan programms all happy life no care no sorry nothing. Why do they get involved and do stuff like that? being a Gursikh means to control yourself and having respect. How do It try and forget my past?, How I look forward in live with out the past comming in my mind? I do my paat everyday listen to kirtan...I come from a family that are all amritdary that guide me too but. somethings is hard to dicuss i just try and smile and say its all ok.

From this alone, I can tell you were not ready or prepared for a relationship. One thing you have to first accept that we control the amount of misery we go through and no one else. What others do, do so out of the same freedom God has given to you. If they wish to run around, that is their prerogative. We travel together until one of us wishes to depart,....let them go! Why become a hindrance in another's freedom. God does not hinder our freedom to do what we desire, let us become God in our small way. Understand yourself first, understand your mind and where it has anchored itself in this world. Find the sanctuary of silence within your first, before you even think of holding another's hand on your journey.

Take your experience in two folds.

One, be great-full to have gone through this experience and come out of it unharmed or in worse shape (mentally) than you could have.

Two, I hope you have learned what Moh, Mamta, Maya can do to your mind and just because one is wearing the attire of a Doctor, does not mean he has the qualification to heal your wounds, much less give you security that you two are walking on the same path. Our minds are all alike, whether you wear a Dumalla or you wear a Hat. Every person goes through the same trials and tribulations of shedding the layer of vices we have laminated on our minds. The Journey is long and arduous so don't get attached to one person thinking they should be so and so because such and such is an Amritdhari or non-Amrtidhari for that matter. It is not that simple.

It the Rehni and our Behni that defines us. Even so it is not that easy to know what kind of a person truly is. We are great actors, we may deceive all those around us, but never can we deceive the one within us. Also know that no one person is truly bad and no one person is truly good. If you keep this in mind, you will not get fully attached to anyone. You will disappoint yourself when the Good person does a bad thing and you will again disappoint yourself when a bad person begins to do good deeds. Let individuals be as they are...evolving.

Dhan Guru....

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Guest Daas

Guest Daas

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Hey, I was/am sort in the same position as you. I had a relationship with someone who was also into Sikhi, and we took a break for a while. But for that break, I never talked to them for at all and this was REALLY hard for the first couple of months, as they wanted to take the break and I didn't. But then after I put all faith in Guru Ji, and after A few months i Got over them. My mind was so focused on sikhi now, everytime i missed them, I did patt/simran or just asked guru sahib to help me get over the relationship. This built my Sikhi so much, and I slowly began to realize how wrong i was for having a relationship in the first place.

Then one day my ex partner called me back, and said they wanted to "end" the break we were having as they were now ready to get back together. It was hard for me to say no, but some magical feeling inside didn't let me say i wanted to get back into the relationship. So I said no, and told them that we should wait for marriage if anything and let Guru Sahib take care of it. They told that they couldn't wait for that, and would probally find someone else by then. This hurt me a lot, killed me for a few weeks. But as i was depressed again I started to do even more bani. And the more bani i did, the more i forgot. But the feelings I got from bani now for much better than being in that relationship.

From time to time you always miss your ex partner, or even living that life, but trust me start doing ardas and bani and eventually, NOT QUICKLY, things will start to get better. It's not a fast process, and even after a year or so you might still miss them or feel angry. But The peace of mind you will get from Gurbani will outweigh all the pain

Just focus on living a Gursikhi Jeevan, and try to focus on your true Soul-bride and how you need to merge with them :) Because he would never hurt or betray you, all love on this earth is just temporary. Only your parents and gods love is unconditional. So why focus on those that don't care about you, just think about the one lord who will and always will be by your side and focus on merging back with him. A love that will last forever, and never die

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I think you need to take a break from routine.

Go join a Sikh WOMEN Camp ( Kaurs United or Kaurageous )

Another option, take a trip, visit historical Gurudwara's in India.

You can visit or join youth camp at Baru Sahib

http://barusahib.org/youth-campdetails.php?ids=1&cid=GenralInformations&ses_id=2

http://barusahib.org/pdf/gen-info-2010.pdf

Will strongly advice that you avoid him and stop attending programs where he might be present FOR THE TIME BEING.

(People die and life goes on, comparitively this pain is nothing) your wound too will heal with Time.

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