Is Marriage Important?

[khalsa50]

I wanted to know what the sangat thinks about getting married. Does every sikh have to get married at one point in their life? Or is it ok if we don't. Is is compulsory to get married in Sikhi?? I wanted to know this because I am a girl who doesn't want to get married and whenever my parents or anyone else talks about getting me married, I get really mad. I really start to dislike whoever talks about it. I want to know what everyone else thinks about it.

[wahgrrru]

Waheguru g,

I was also in the same prblm. Bt now I've got the answer that marriage is not only making relationship its the biggest SEVA that epecially a girl does.You r selfless when you work the whole day foer ur husband , ur parents in law and ur kids. As such its not compulsary but this world is realy not gud so after marriage u r safe coz Its Kaljug anything can happen. So now u should not think much about it as guru sahib would have decided for u .

Plz correct if m wrong somewhre

waheguru g ka khalsa,

waheguru g ki fateh

[chatanga]

marriage is very important, shrest dharam is gresht dharam, loosely translated as highest duty is family duty.

i dont know what is wrong with some younger sikhs today, very reluctant to get married, but they are not aware of the future implications this has on the panth.

[VanHelsingh]

marriage is very important, shrest dharam is gresht dharam, loosely translated as highest duty is family duty.

i dont know what is wrong with some younger sikhs today, very reluctant to get married, but they are not aware of the future implications this has on the panth.

Are you surprised? Have you seen the potential options for Sikh males and females who've been raised to be respectful, responsible and decent? Whilst some will say "'pray to Waheguru and you'll receive what you deserve" is good advice, trying telling this to the parents of the kids who just want to marry their kids off a.s.a.p.

[biba kaur]

I wanted to know what the sangat thinks about getting married. Does every sikh have to get married at one point in their life? Or is it ok if we don't. Is is compulsory to get married in Sikhi?? I wanted to know this because I am a girl who doesn't want to get married and whenever my parents or anyone else talks about getting me married, I get really mad. I really start to dislike whoever talks about it. I want to know what everyone else thinks about it.

if it is wriiten in your karam it will happen no matter what, if it isn't, then no matter what u do, it will not happen, nothing is in our hands, all pre determined by almighty vaheguru. If u r resistant to the thought of it just yet, could be inner fears and anxieties or maybe due to looking at others unhappy around you. If you are genuinely against it then maybe vaheguru has some other seva in mind for you, if it isnt written then, even if you get a hundred rishtey, they will all fizzle out, because some things are not in his hukam. Just go with the flow and ask vaheguru for what you really want truly inside.

[VanHelsingh]

if it is wriiten in your karam it will happen no matter what, if it isn't, then no matter what u do, it will not happen, nothing is in our hands, all pre determined by almighty vaheguru. If u r resistant to the thought of it just yet, could be inner fears and anxieties or maybe due to looking at others unhappy around you. If you are genuinely against it then maybe vaheguru has some other seva in mind for you, if it isnt written then, even if you get a hundred rishtey, they will all fizzle out, because some things are not in his hukam. Just go with the flow and ask vaheguru for what you really want truly inside.

Bhenji I agree with you completely, but let me just play Devil's advocate for a bit. What if marriage is not written in one's karam, but one's parents are hell-bent on seeing their child get married? I know you could argue that Waheguru is working through the parents to ensure that the person in question gets married, but then it comes down to the person having no control over their destiny (if there is such a concept). He or she isn't making the decision of whether to get married - the parent's are pulling the strings. If left to the youngster, all talk of marriage would stop and nobody would do anything, but because the parents are in control, the path of marriage is travelled even if it may not bear fruit in the future.

Does anyone understand what I'm waffling on about?

[chatanga]

but one's parents are hell-bent on seeing their child get married?

Does anyone understand what I'm waffling on about?

yes i understand, but the greater issue in your post is that you show no understanding of parents and their duty of seeing their child is married. in our religion, marriage is very important, and our Guru's were married by their parents, but the joy as well of parents seeing their children married is immense.

what is stopping young sikhs getting married today? they worry about stuff like compatiblity, with 100% shared interests or that their husband/wife has to have movie star looks etc.

this is not what gurmat is about. Where there is 1 sikh, there is 1 sikh, but where there are 2 there is a sangat, so marriage is symbolic of permanent sangat between man and his wife(s), or between a woman and her husband(s).

[VanHelsingh]

@ chatanga - In an ideal world, then yes. But when one partner has other designs for the marriage, then trouble will always lie ahead.

what is stopping young sikhs getting married today? they worry about stuff like compatiblity, with 100% shared interests or that their husband/wife has to have movie star looks etc.

You obviously don't know me, but I also - like you - believe the above issues are superficial factors resulting from the modern world. Like you, I am from the traditional school-of-thought, which is, however, tempered with a grounding in the realities of the world we live in. However I cannot continually "hope for the best" as you seem to be suggesting. If this is incompatible with Sikhi, then I'm afraid that's my sin to bear.

To the dog 'minusing' my posts again - go make your mess somewhere else.

[chatanga]

yes i hear what you are saying, it is obvious now, that the modern world has broken the sanctity of marriage, but sikhs who have knowledge of Gurmat and walk on this marg, are still falling prey to this notion of not getting married. And that will have repercussions on the panth in future.

[VanHelsingh]

yes i hear what you are saying, it is obvious now, that the modern world has broken the sanctity of marriage, but sikhs who have knowledge of Gurmat and walk on this marg, are still falling prey to this notion of not getting married. And that will have repercussions on the panth in future.

I know what you mean. Whilst Muslims are multiplying in huge numbers, we have our people questioning marriage itself. It will only serve to weaken us in the future.

Modern (not even modern but extremely western) ways of life are such a huge problem for those of us in the community, who wish to live simple, respectful lives before AND after marriage. I honestly don't know the solution to this problem.