Why Are Sikhs Leaving Sikhism?

[VanHelsingh]

The only reason that Islam is growing is that they have an extremely effective and well funded child educational model which they follow. The educational model & educational resources have come from Saudi Arbaia and are in a mature state and are tried and tested. Muslim kids attend religious education for one hour every day.

If you compare this with Sikhs, apart from a few camps here and there we provide our kids with zero education. The key is education education education!

Am I wrong in saying that Muslim kids are almost scared or threatened into following Islam and studying their faith? It seems like they haven't got a choice, whereas Sikh parents (more so the 30+ age-group of parents who didn't really care for the religion themselves) are a lot more relaxed and are more concerned about their kids fitting in with the western world.

[Aman0001]

I wouldnt say the children are scared into Islam, they are just conditioned from an early age.

I think the Muslims do go to far though, I dont think that the Muslim children have a pure love for Islam, its simply a conditioned love i.e. something that has been drilled into them so hard from a young age.

Even though its not perfect, they are still infinitely better then Sikhs, who give their kids no education and dont reinforce their Sikh identity in any way. We just simply put a Guti on a childs head and then push them out into the big world without them even knowing why (like a sheep to the wolves).

[VanHelsingh]

I think the Muslims do go to far though, I dont think that the Muslim children have a pure love for Islam, its simply a conditioned love i.e. something that has been drilled into them so hard from a young age.

Yes, that is a good point. The fact that their lives revolve around their religion is admirable, even though the teachings of the religion are not to everyone's taste. Fair play to them. They've expanded the numbers of their faith to such an extent that they have a strong voice around the world.

[Wicked Warrior]

There is very little religious teaching to youngsters. I was lucky enough to get a few books on the Sikh Gurus when I was young and this kept my interest in Sikhi going. I had no desire to go to the Gurdwara - it was meaningless. I could have fallen asleep or stayed at home and it would have made (almost) no difference. I was matta teking because I had to, not because I wanted to.

Efforts need to be made from both family (who usually aren't bothered) and from the Gurdwara. The problem is that kids are generally ignored. They are the future Sikhs and if they lose their way, there will be no Sikhi in the future (or at least not the way it is/used to be).

[Gupt1984]

It seems like they haven't got a choice, whereas Sikh parents (more so the 30+ age-group of parents who didn't really care for the religion themselves) are a lot more relaxed and are more concerned about their kids fitting in with the western world.

I belong to this to this 30+ age group of parents and it's not always the case of not caring for religion but that as we were growing up no emphasis was put on religion. Education was everything. Parents worked all hours and spent very little time with us teaching us about Sikhi or even going to the gurdwara. Parents were concerned with us adopting too many western traits so life at home and life at school was challenging, but I can't recall ever being told a single sakhj. So as I grew up got married and had children I wanted my children to fit into western society in a way my parents didn't always allow me too.

Only as I started to look into Sikhi as my children questioned me as to what being a Sikh was did I start to read into what a Sikh is. I was overwhelmed by our history and that parents hadn't shared any of this with me. As i started making changes in my life my own siblings and friends questioned why as it was something they werent familiar with. I realise that at that time for my parents the priority was working all hours to provide a home in a country that was foreign to them as well as helping family back home and encouraging education. My priority is raising my children as gursikhs, which in turn with help them with everything else in there lives.

[dalsingh101]

I'm just wondering if people think we are a warm, welcoming people on the whole?

[Dev1975]

I'm just wondering if people think we are a warm, welcoming people on the whole?

Some of us can be and some of us can't. I've had experience with both types of people but I wouldn't generalise and say everyone was bad or everyone was good. Then again, I'm more likely to take people on an individual basis and see them for who they are rather than who they represent. Personally, it would be nicer if people didn't judge others and instead accepted them for who they are, perhaps that may make them feel more at ease and more likely to take an interest.

[VanHelsingh]

There is very little religious teaching to youngsters. I was lucky enough to get a few books on the Sikh Gurus when I was young and this kept my interest in Sikhi going. I had no desire to go to the Gurdwara - it was meaningless. I could have fallen asleep or stayed at home and it would have made (almost) no difference. I was matta teking because I had to, not because I wanted to.

Efforts need to be made from both family (who usually aren't bothered) and from the Gurdwara. The problem is that kids are generally ignored. They are the future Sikhs and if they lose their way, there will be no Sikhi in the future (or at least not the way it is/used to be).

Same here. My dad use to take me to the adults section of the library every week whilst I was still at primary school, and he'd let me choose the books I wanted to read (ghost stories, science-fiction for young adults, etc), but he always made sure I checked out at least 1 Sikh history book. I loved reading the Sikhi books to be honest, and like you say at that age (around 6 or 7) I didn't really understand what was going on at the Gurudwara apart from Guru Granth Sahib Ji is to be respected.

I remember I wasn't allowed to go downstairs and play with the other kids in the car park, and I had to sit next to my dad every Sunday during the diwaan from 11.30am to 2pm even if the blood would stop circulating in my legs, lol. I tried my best to understand what the katha vichaarak or the raagi was saying, and as such that's helped me in my Panjabi speaking in normal life.

As I read more and more Sikhi books, I realised the significance of Guru Granth Sahib Ji and the lives of our Gurus. Then, everything I heard at the Gurudwara began making a bit more sense.

Looking back now, I thank my father for introducing me to Sikhi in the subtle way he did by introducing a Sikhi book into my reading time. Also, we always had various religious cassettes playing in our home, such as Bhai Balwinder Singh Rangila's shabads and vichaar, and many other kirtaniye. It was always done in a chilled out way and not something enforced or regimented so that a young mind such as mine would think "Oh not this religious stuff again". Thankfully there was a desire in my own heart to learn about my faith, and I never saw it as a chore or "something that had to be done". Although the epic sitting-sessions every Sunday at the Gurudwara were murder on my knees. :D

I belong to this to this 30+ age group of parents and it's not always the case of not caring for religion but that as we were growing up no emphasis was put on religion. Education was everything. Parents worked all hours and spent very little time with us teaching us about Sikhi or even going to the gurdwara. Parents were concerned with us adopting too many western traits so life at home and life at school was challenging, but I can't recall ever being told a single sakhj. So as I grew up got married and had children I wanted my children to fit into western society in a way my parents didn't always allow me too.

Only as I started to look into Sikhi as my children questioned me as to what being a Sikh was did I start to read into what a Sikh is. I was overwhelmed by our history and that parents hadn't shared any of this with me. As i started making changes in my life my own siblings and friends questioned why as it was something they werent familiar with. I realise that at that time for my parents the priority was working all hours to provide a home in a country that was foreign to them as well as helping family back home and encouraging education. My priority is raising my children as gursikhs, which in turn with help them with everything else in there lives.

I guess it does depend on the parents to introduce their offspring to the religion - most of the time. But like I said above, it needs to be done gently and honestly. A child doesn't like having concepts rammed down his or her throat (even with the best of intentions), and to associate religion with rituals or boredom is not the best thing.

Controversially, I think the child also needs to shoulder some responsibility. If the "poosh" isn't bothered about learning, then you can spend 24 hours a day trying to teach him but you won't get anywhere. So from personal experience I honestly can't say its 100% the fault of the parents if a child wavers from their religion. Kids also need to step up.

[dalsingh101]

Some times you meet two siblings, two brothers who have had similar upbringings but one turns out interested in his religion and one is completely uninterested. I know this because me and my brother are like this. SO it does seem like upbringing can only go so far. I have a sneaking feeling that biology (or neurology) also plays its part, and some people just naturally think certain ways?

I think we need to remember that even the children or other close relatives of some of our Gurus chose wayward paths (hence Dhir Mal, Prithi Chand etc.)

That being said, when you are raised out here in the west, in a multicultural society, it is natural to compare your own communities state of affairs in relation to others around you. When you do this, it just begins to seem that as a community we have horrendous leadership and are getting more and more distant from our roots and each other by the day. Plus the amount of problems we face....pheeew!

Sure, not having our own country plays its part but sometimes it also just seems like we ourselves do things really shoddy, like how we engage the youth in our religious institutes, teach Panjabi (in the UK at least, the Canadian brothers seem to have that one nailed nicely). How we discuss problems we have in the community (i.e. we don't). Plus it dawned on me last night that really, our biggest problem is this izzat thing, because it makes people so scared of looking like they've lost it, that they ignore and cover up all manner of things that go on in the quom giving us the appearance of hardcore hypocrites.

We talk like a warrior quom, yet sadday munday get bullied regularly. We act straight laced, but hardly any Gurdwaras don't have some hira-firi going on by its committee. We are judgmental (that includes me btw) and have strong exclusionist attitudes towards those not as pious as us. No one drinks like our people - really, NO ONE DOES.

I think things like these play a big part in putting people off the faith in their own way too.

Are we not just sleeping in the beds we have made for ourselves in the end? As ugly a fact as that may be?

[VanHelsingh]

I think we need to remember that even the children or other close relatives of some of our Gurus chose wayward paths (hence Dhir Mal, Prithi Chand etc.)

As the youngsters say these days: "Word!".

Are we not just sleeping in the beds we have made for ourselves in the end? As ugly a fact as that may be?

I think we had a similar discussion last week in another thread, and I said that the majority of those in the Sikh faith have descended from peasants, and that mentality can't be shaken off over a generation or two. It takes consistent progress over hundreds of years to move forward as a society, and that simply hasn't taken place for Sikhs. Have a look back home and people are - on the whole - living as they were in medieval times. Ignore the cars, the mobile phones, etc. Look at the approach to life and the mentality - its not changed much since 1539 has it?

I'm not talking about poverty or anything like that. In certain instances, such issues can't be avoided and I'm not having a go at agricultural practices either. But you can change your thinking and you can listen and believe in the teachings of our Gurus that were meant to emancipate us and broaden our minds. With that knowledge, we could've moved forward towards new horizons by now.

I will say this: If the roots of a tree are rotten, what chance does the tree have of growing?