How To Move On?

[MajorAmarjeetSingh]

serious post here

so many topics on gupt forum are about relationships, i reckon the website should just make a seperate relationship forum

[xtremesingh18]

serious post here

so many topics on gupt forum are about relationships, i reckon the website should just make a seperate relationship forum

Can I be admin of said sub forum?? Please ?? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

lol JK I have a life

(no offence to admins ) 8-)

[Guest dasi]

fehte ji..

I think you shuld keep doing ardaas to waheguru that pls show me a way. Nd i am hundred percent sure that waheguru will help you to show yu a way. I no gursikhs, hu was lookin for advices. but at the end of the day ardass was the thing that showed them the way.

bul chuk maf karni

fethe ji,

Gurufateh ji, Thanks a lot. Waheguru alone can help and show the way through ardas.

I'm trying to keep my faith intact and belief strong, that only Satguru will do everything.

Thanks again to all posters.

[D Kaur]

Hmmmm.... well you've had alot of advice... and i agree what they all say, but i thing the one thing that is missing, and i'm sure your feeling, is vulnerability.

You was introduced to this prospective life partner, you accepted your families wishes, and got to know him, you let your guard down as you felt that he was your life partner. There is no shame in that, for if you do not try to get on with your fiance there will be no relationship. The hurt you are feeling is because you were under the impression that this was for real, and a life long commitment. It's ok to feel hurt and betrayed, were humans we have emotions, that it what gives us our humility.

Instead of mourning what could of been, accept it as a lesson learnt.

Accept the fact that this man was not for you, and accept that Vaheguru showed you this mans true intentions before you were married, and worse, before there were kids involved.

Accept that Vaheguru has let you escape from a painfull life with this man, and be happy to have the chance to meet a more worthy partner.

When you meet your true life partner, you wont even think about this experience, it hurts now as the wounds are still fresh... it wont always be that way...

[Guest Helper]

It is hard but it is worth it to make right decision for both

[Guest dasi]

Thanks DKaur ji & Helper ji, thanks a lot!! Perhaps a big pat on the back & Satguruji's love is all we need :respect:

[Wicked Warrior]

"always been told that whatever happens, is for our good and everything is done by Satguruji"

So what seems to have happened is that you found out that this person was false before marriage, rather than afterwards. You would have probably had to live with this "horrible" man for the rest of your life, or you would have divorced him at some point. Instead, Guru Ji has saved you from something far worse. It's like escaping with a papercut when you should have had your hand cut off.

Give thanks to Guru Ji and ask for assistance in finding someone. Life isn't going to be perfect - there will always be ups and downs, but let Guru Ji be there to assist you at each step.

[Guest dasi]

"always been told that whatever happens, is for our good and everything is done by Satguruji"

So what seems to have happened is that you found out that this person was false before marriage, rather than afterwards. You would have probably had to live with this "horrible" man for the rest of your life, or you would have divorced him at some point. Instead, Guru Ji has saved you from something far worse. It's like escaping with a papercut when you should have had your hand cut off.

Give thanks to Guru Ji and ask for assistance in finding someone. Life isn't going to be perfect - there will always be ups and downs, but let Guru Ji be there to assist you at each step.

Yes indeed, it is all Satguruji's doing that I am saved. Everyone says that Satguru ji has been very very kind and held me from falling into a well. It has only taken me time and may be even now that I am unable to come to terms with the truth about this person. May be since I had a lot of faith in him and believed that here is Guruji's son. But it is all as He wills and for our best always and I do believe He shall carry me forward & bring someone better in life.

Thanks again for all your wishes --- Give thanks to Guru Ji and ask for assistance in finding someone. Life isn't going to be perfect - there will always be ups and downs, but let Guru Ji be there to assist you at each step.

Thanks very much ji!

[Guest Bliss on marriage]

Many people do many things before marriage but when the time of lava is we make new beginning and past times are mafi . Don't be too hard on yourselv or partner be focus on your time together from now on. Too many divorce in community on small things for why ?

[Guest for]

Payare bhenji, I don't mean to sound harsh but I feel the problem is that you had certain expectations of this individual and those have not been met which seems to the reason for all the sorrow you are currently experiencing. This is what I call 'expectation-disappointment cycle', we keep putting our expectations on people and we keep getting disappointed, this happens over and over again but we never learn. I'm the same way. From my experience, the key is not to expect much from others, be forgiving and most importantly, as a Sikh, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. That does not mean that we should dissociate ourselves from others. We should, to the best of our ability, perform the duties of a householder but try our best to keep our expectations of others as low as we possibly can.

Brilliant post, though I would go so far as to advise not to expect ANYTHING from anyone else.

Expecting to recieve unconditional love from another or to expect another to be perfect (except for a true guru or brahmgyani of course) is incredibly foolish seeing as we all have faults and vices until liberation (the only thing actually keeping us from becoming One with god are our vices so we ALL HAVE THEM).

Our vices are what cause us to upset and dissapoint others, god has made it this way so we rely soley on him for every single thing, especially his love. The fact is that we are all him, our ego and sense of self are simply illusions so counting on an illusion is the mistake we're all making and is commonly known as ATTACHMENT.

When we are completely detached, we know god/ become, it is as simple as that.