Sikh Sexual Morality

[ohifwinterends]

Okay. So I am wondering. What is the Sikh concept of sexual morality? Can couples only have sex for reproduction or...? Another thing that I'm a little confused about that I saw in another thread. An amritdhari can't have intimate relations with their non-amritdhari spouse...? If this is true, why? (Two non-amrit get married, during the marriage one takes amrit.)

[Mehtab Singh]

Guru pyaareyo, I think you were provided links in the other thread already, right?

Anyways, here is a link that I just stumbled upon and may help - http://www.sikhanswers.com/modern-youth-issues/sikh-attitude-to-family-planning/

Note: I haven't read it completely myself yet, and not sure how much of it some will agree/disagree with. But it could give you a basic gist.

[Mehtab Singh]

Gurbani discourages falling prey to kaam (lust or sexual desire) throughout. Engaging in sexual activity by being a slave to kaam , even if with one's spouse can also become an obstacle if one wants to progress spiritually. This I have heard from married GurSikhs as well. Yes one does need to live the life of a householder (grihist jeevan), marry and have kids, but falling prey to kaam is what is to be avoided.

[Kalsingh]

I don't think a husband and wife should be engaging in sexual activity if it is not for procreation.

[VanHelsingh]

I don't think a husband and wife should be engaging in sexual activity if it is not for procreation.

As long as both parties are aware of the above before entering marriage, I don't see foresee there being any problems in fulfilling the above requirement. Obviously if the couple are amritdhari they will already know that a Sikh marriage is not an excuse for indulging their rampant sexual desires.

[mirror]

I don't think a husband and wife should be engaging in sexual activity if it is not for procreation.

I may be wrong in my thinking but i don't totally agree with that.

I think that line may be true for the person who have controlled all vices in him.

Humans like me have so many bad habits or or you can say nature that , by not doing sex with wife is not going to do much benefit to me.

Frankly speaking i am trying to wakeup at Amritwela for past 4 years but i have not been able to. Every time i see beautiful girl i can't stop my eyes to see her.

I know its wrong but i can't stop myself. Sometimes i can't stop my Krodth on others.

Now with all the vices if someone tell me to not indulge in physical relationship with wife, i will become mad.

and even if i do that with all other vices , i am not going to again anything by that.

So the point is , if you have full control of your shortcomings and bad habits then we can think that, But for person like me

i won't gain anything by doing that. it can make life more worse

[Mehtab Singh]

^^ Gurmukho, so that means problem is inside of you (same way it is inside of me and many of us). We need to fix ourselves before we can say that something is right or wrong, correct?

[mirror]

You r right in that. But again there is nothing like right or wrong because in order to judge what is right or wrong one has to be perfect and without any vices and perfect is only Vaheguru so technically beside Brahmgyani or Guru sahib no one can say what is right or wrong.

But sometimes when we say things from our judgement like you said

I don't think a husband and wife should be engaging in sexual activity if it is not for procreation.

then someone who is browsing the forum gets confused that he is doing something wrong while engagaing with his wife.

So instead of concentrating on things like naam simran , he will get more and more worried about how he can avoid that.

It happened with me. Instead of Nitnem i started thinking about high level things and then i was in total chaos , them someone guided me that first fix you Amritwela and then we will talk further

You thinking is perfect for that person who is already good on Guru sahib path and by following ur advice he can go one step further but very often new bies gets confused.I am talking from my experience. May be i am having very bad karmas that i am like that but it happend with me

Bhul chuk maaf

[Mehtab Singh]

Theeka jeeo, but it wasn't me who said what you quoted

[osingh]

"An amritdhari can't have intimate relations with their non-amritdhari spouse...? If this is true, why?"

This is question does not make sense because an amritdhari Sikh will surely have an amritdhari partner. A baptised Gursikh will only want to marry another baptised Gursikh. Why would a baptised Gursikh have intimate relations with a non-baptised Gursikh? This makes no-sense. If a baptised Gursikh is having physical relations with baptized or non-baptized perosn before marriage surely this is wrong. Dating before marriage has no place in Gurmat. Name me one great Gursikh in the past who encouraged or dated before marriage.

It is a must that there is no-dating or any other sort of relation between Gursikhs before marriage. It is best to consult older Gursikhs for potential marriage partner. Traditionally in Sikhi, arranged marriages have been the tradition ever since the birth of Sikhi. Hopefully this tradition carries on! Satguru Mehar Karan!

Our real husband is our preetam pyare sri Akal Purakh Waheguru ji. How can we get nearer to our husband lord? This is what a Gursikh should ask himself.

Will indulging in kaam or kaam related thoughts take us closer or further from our preetam pyara? Surely indulging in the five fives, whether physically or mentally only takes us further from Akal Purakh and makes our path that much harder.

Please read as much Gurbani as you can. Reading Gurbani with arths (meaning) will answer our questions. Please form an opinion first by consulting Gurbani yourself. What does Gurbani say about Kaam and the other chor(thieves) - krodh, lobh, moh and hankaar?

Once one has a decent grasp of Gurbani and meanings many questions are answered. Also reading the jeevan of great Gursikhs of the past. From Guru Nanak Devi ji Maharaj to Sant Jarnail Singh ji and even now there are many Gursikhs who stay nirlep, unatached to this world and attached to Guru ji through naam simran, rehat and Gurbani.

Dhan Dhan are such Gurskihs! I seek the dust of such Gursikhs who have destroyed the 5 thieves.

Rabb Rakhe

Satguru Mehar Karan