Jump to content

I Have Had Pre-Maritial Sex, Help!


Guest SwaggSingh
 Share

Recommended Posts

I pity the guy who ends up marrying the girl you've enjoyed. If there's any justice in this world it'll be someone who is of the same moral fibre as the girl, as opposed to someone who hasn't indulged in pre-marital sex himself. Which in this day and age is getting less likely, case in point, this topic.

How about pitying the girl who's going to end up with the guy starting this thread? And isn't that someone who is of the same moral fibre as the girl in fact the guy starting the thread? The guy is as much to blame as the girl so why do you write as if the girl is the only one doing wrong? The guy has done equally wrong as the girl.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He is 16 yrs old. I was smoking cigarettes at 17 and weed aged 18.

Now I havent touched any of it for years, do not eat meat and am prob one of the most sikh person you will have ever met.

People can change, I am a living example.

Of course he should try his best to marry the girl he slept with, but he can change.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How about pitying the girl who's going to end up with the guy starting this thread? And isn't that someone who is of the same moral fibre as the girl in fact the guy starting the thread? The guy is as much to blame as the girl so why do you write as if the girl is the only one doing wrong? The guy has done equally wrong as the girl.

That goes without saying. Equal standards for all!

I was commenting from a guy's perspective.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are only 16 , you have a lot of life ahead of you , you may or may not slip again in future. Once you have tasted the forbidden fruit, things can only get worse. Your only hope is either you can maintain a lot of simran ( 3-4 hours daily) continuosly for 1-2 years to see a change in your behavior, or you get a guidance of a true brahmgyani which is close to impossible. Just keep doing ardass, every individual is different.

Once you are guilt goes away, you might indulge in the act again.

Only practical solution that I can give to you is that wake up at amritvela, 2 AM, chant waheguru mantra or mool mantra loud and listen to it properly with your eyes. If you can keep it up for 2 years...you might be able to make up for your mistake, I know its hard...but there is no other way.

Hope you consider doing it .

I agree with this... once you do something like that you will regret it for a few days or weeks and then most of the time end up doing it again...

a bit like drinking, when people get drunk the next morning they wish they didnt drink and say they will never drink again only until the next party...

your best option is to marry her

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some replies are rather strange. There is a mountain of difference between liking someone physically and considering them for marriage. Our younger brother is only 16, how can anyone ask him to marry the girl?!

Payarey shotey veer, what is your mind telling you to do now?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^Bhaji if he has slept with her, it is the righteous thing to do to marry her- of course he should wait until he is the right age.

I said he should do everything within his power to marry her because the girl might obv not want to marry him- but on his part, of course he should at least try his best to make it work with the girl and marry the girl he has slept with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't want to sound harsh here, but if your old enough to engage in sexual intercourse then your old enough to marry the girls whose purity you took...

Actions have consequences, one day that girl if she marries another guy he will find out.. Solution deal with the consequence and marry her...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry this maybe inappropriate, but I don't see the big deal. The OP shoudln't over dwell and beat himeslf over it. Heres a fact sexual intercourse is a natural urge like many other things such as eating, only we need to eat every day to live

We also NEED 'do it so mankind continues' (or pleasure, if your not at that level). A natural urge we all do but don't talk about as it is like going to the toilet. We all need and do it.

If you make love, im talking about LOVE with some one care for you get to know them. Well it's better to get to know your partner and commit to physical relations once you are both willing and want too.

As I know of arrange marriages you have only met a few times and I mean a few times over chai / somosa etc get married. The day after the Anand Karj the couple sleep in the same bed and may indulge in natural urges. Some gorah akin it to a desi on night stand, but its forever! No get out of jail free card!!!

IS it not right to sleep with someone you have dated for along time and then do it with a marraige in view or is it better just being introduced and then marrying not getting to know the partner and you know shuaag raat!.

I stand by my original point. Why should a guy receive somebody else's used goods if he himself has stuck to the rules and not given into his urges? Although if that is indeed what happens as I doubt the girl in question will tell a potential husband she has already had sex.....That is if she clings to the pretence of being a chaste girl looking for a husband through an arranged....sorry I mean "introduced" marriage.

I make no apologies for my stance on this subject. On other issues I have humbly reconsidered my views if I've felt my comments have been ill-judged. Not this time. Not one bit.

Well maybe these things should be asked amongst the couple with upmost confidence without humiliating the other on your few minute chat to get to no each other. As you can always tell if a girl is virign after.

But the question I ask is SO what if the person you have arrange marriage with has been with a partner before? Is it ok for guy not girl? Nor both?

EDIT

On a side note there a lot of threads on here about mas******ing, well that is alos cheating to an extenct, as they must be imagining / viewing somthing so maybe that needs to be thrown into the mix? ITS KALJUG we all have these urges to be with somone as long as its for the right reasons l see no wrong i.e. long term partner, who yuo may want to marry

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • WJKK WJKF! How long will this forum remain online for in a readable & accessible state? It appears susceptible to shut-down. It would be a shame if all the forum's content from over the decades is lost in such an event due to servers hosting this forum shutting-down. This forum, whilst not currently active, remains an important repository of the Sikh religion online. It also is a fundamental aspect of Sikh cyber culture that existed from the early Internet period from the 2000's to 2010's before the domination by big social-media sites that consolidated the community. Thus, have the web-masters of this forum considered archiving this forum's contents before it is lost forever? I can assist you in this by saving the content to the Internet Archive on your behalf. Please let me know your thoughts about such an endeavour and I hope you may consider the possibility of archiving the forum for posterity. Future generations of Sikhs and Sikh researchers will be grateful. Kind regards, Theth Panjabi (you can find me on IG at theth.panjabi and on X/Twitter at ThethPanjabi)
    • Video on the tale, gurdwara, and manuscript: link As the story goes, during the Vadda Ghallughara genocide against the Sikhs perpetrated by the Afghan Durrani Empire on 5–6 February 1762, not only were Sikh lives lost, but our original Damdami Sahib Bir recension was also lost in that carnage. However, over the years I have spent researching our history, many claimed it was taken back to Afghanistan by Ahmad Shah Abdali's troops as loot whilst others said it was secretly hidden somewhere by the Singhs for safe-keeping. As of today, it remains untraceable and I presume it is gone for good. However, I came across a couple of articles stating that there were actually around five master-copies of the original Damdami Bir, with one of these copies being safeguarded by the jatha of Bhai Sudha Singh of the Shaheedan Misl. "It is said that the tenth Sikh master Guru Gobind Singh had got five birs written at Damdama Sahib. The bani (writings) of the ninth Sikh master Guru Tegh Bahadur were incorporated in these birs. These five birs were given to different jathas (groups) of Sikhs by Guru Gobind Singh to be safely installed. One bir was being taken by Sudha Singh who was leading a jatha of 19 Sikhs, when Abdali'[s] forces stormed Kup-Rohira and killed thousands of Sikhs. Though all 19 Sikhs were massacred by Abdali, Sudha Singh somehow brought the bir to Kuthala. Since then it has been kept at village gurdwara." (Times of India, 2012) The gurdwara today [Gurdwara Shaheed Baba Sudha Singh Ji in Kuthala] has a certain historical manuscript that they claim is one of the five master-copies of the Damdama recension. You can see close-up shots of the bir in the video posted. I will also share close-up images of its folios in the comment section. I will also provide a faithful English translation of the video's narration so non-Punjabi speakers may benefit from this post. I will leave the question on whether this bir is authentic or not to your judgement but I will provide my own analysis below.   English translation of the video's narration: The Guru-form Guru Khalsa Holy Congregation (Sadh Sangat) Ji, Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. The Gurdwara Sahib that the congregation is currently beholding is situated in Village Kuthala, near Malerkotla, in the Sangrur district of Punjab. A very great treasure is preserved within this Gurdwara Sahib. The history of this Gurdwara Sahib is very closely related to the Vada Ghalughara (The Great Holocaust) that took place in February 1762. Baba Sudha Singh Ji, the third head of the Shaheedi Misl, arrived at this location considering it a safe place. He brought with him that sacred holy scripture (Saroop) which the Tenth Father, Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji, had personally dictated to Bhai Mani Singh Ji on the holy land of Damdama Sahib. Upon arriving, he personally performed the last rites (cremation) of 19 martyred Sikhs at this site. As he prepared to leave to take command of the Jatha (the Sikh contingent), the sacred holy scripture he had brought was enshrined at this very location. At that time, this place was known as Dera Jaga Sidh, but nowadays, a very beautiful building stands here in the name of Gurdwara Sahib Shaheedi. The sacred holy scriptures that were enshrined at that time are today ceremoniously displayed (Prakashwan) with great respect every Channi Dashmi (the tenth day of the bright lunar fortnight) for the congregation to behold. Devotees from within the country and abroad arrive to catch a glimpse of these sacred scriptures and receive the Guru's blessings. Every year, an annual Gurmat Samagam (religious congregation) is held for five consecutive days in memory of the martyrs of the Great Holocaust, concluding on Magh Sudi Dashmi. Furthermore, a book containing the full detailed history—titled after Shaheed Baba Sudha Singh Ji and the Hand-written Holy Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji—was released in February 2013 by the managing volunteers based on historical research. It was released by the 14th head of the Shaheedi Misl, Singh Sahib Baba Makhan Singh Ji (the current head of Baba Bakala Sahib), the Meet Jathedar Singh Ji, and Sant Gurdev Singh Ji of Anandpur Sahib (the current head). The congregation can obtain spiritual benefit by reading it. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.   My analysis: In my humble opinion (which may be incorrect), this bir is not a master-copy of the Damdami Bir. It more closely resembles the highly-decorated birs of the Kashmiri-style that were created during the reign of the Sikh Empire in the first half of the 19th century. We can see this bir has highly illuminated and illustrated angs (folios), which took the great skill of a master artisan to make, which required resources to pay and patronize. Usually, the manuscripts during the Sikh Empire were the most elaborately decorated, as this was when the Sikhs were at a high-point, masters of the land, possessing vast amounts of resources that they could use to fund such endeavors. Therefore, whilst the story may be true and a master-copy of the Damdami Bir recension may have once been at this location, I am not convinced that this particular manuscript is it. I may be mistaken and I am open to constructive criticism. 1633648456_GurdwaraHistory.mp4
    • Sri Kesgarh Sahib (and Akaal Takht) has always allowed eating meat for those who take Amrit there, as long as it's not ritually killed like halaal.  They've followed the official Sikh Rehat Maryada since it was made in the 30s, before that they were Nihang Maryada who also allow meat. So no Panj Pyaare have ever mandated being veg at Anandpur Sahib. You can read the full Sikh Rehat Maryada in English, it includes the Panj Pyaare are meant to say on the day (page 57 I believe). My cousin took Amrit at Anandpur Sahib and my other one in Darbar Sahib 8 years later. I recently showed them both this page and they said that's exactly what the Panj said to them word for word at their Sanchaars
    • Anandpur Sahib does and always has followed the Sikh Rehat Maryada, same as Darbar Sahib in Amritsar. They allow you to eat any eggs, fish or meat as long it is not Halal meat/killed Ritualistically. They say Kes is the Kakkar, not Keski. I believe only AKJ says that and nobody else. You can read the full Sikh Rehat Maryada, page 56-7 I believe is what the Panj Pyaare are meant to say on the day. My cousin took Amrit at Anandpur Sahib and the other in Darbar Sahib 8 years later. I showed them both this page and they said that is exactly what the Panj said to them word for word at their Sanchaar
    • All Sikhs must recite Rehras Sahib daily but Chaupai Sahib and the short Anand Sahib were only added to it by SGPC and other jathebandis in the 1900s. In Guru Granth Sahib Ji's saroop, "Sodar Rehras" appears from "So dar tera keha" to "Saran pare ki rakho sarma", which is basically the first half of "Rehras" in all standard Gutka Sahibaan. So why do we recite these? Obviously doing more Baani can never be bad, but most Amritdharis recite Benti Chaupai and Anand Sahib in their morning Nitnem so why should we recite these two Baania again instead of a new one? That time could be used to read Shastar Naam Mala, Shabad Hazaare etc. And why do these two Baanis get more importance than the others? Surely if we recite Chaupai Sahib and (part of) Anand Sahib twice in a day then we should also recite Japji Sahib, Jaap Sahib and Tav Prasad Savaiya twice as well? Note: Pls correct me if I'm wrong about SGPC. My theory is that they added these into Rehras Sahib cos they removed them from the morning Baania but still had to include them in the daily Nitnem somehow, but this doesn't explain why older Samparde like Budha Dal also have this version of Rehras Sahib in their Gutkeh - someone enlighten Daas pls Bhul Chuk Maaf
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use