how to feel comfortable around opposite gender

[TheFancyBanana]

As a kid at the Gurdwara listening to kirtan, I use to love checking out the various harmoniums whenever a kirtani jatha would perform on stage. When one of the jatha had a white harmonium it use to make me very happy. The harmoniums with the sticker 'BINA' use to make me giggle; I use to wonder whether it was like 'Tere Bina' or something like that.

ahahahahaahahahahahaahahahaha. the gold ones at darbar sahib. dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyum

[Singh559]

As a kid at the Gurdwara listening to kirtan, I use to love checking out the various harmoniums whenever a kirtani jatha would perform on stage. When one of the jatha had a white harmonium it use to make me very happy. The harmoniums with the sticker 'BINA' use to make me giggle; I use to wonder whether it was like 'Tere Bina' or something like that.

I used to love using the Giani Ji's harmonium because mine wasn't as nice! I forgot a lot of the shabads though unfortunately!

I just remembered whichever ones were shiner = probably were better haha.

[VanHelsingh]

I remember - again as a little boy - going to the stage to give a pound coin during kirtan (as you do when your father sends you) and one kirtaniya's harmonium had white ivory keys with RUBY RED chord keys! I was like (to myself) "Is that appropriate, Singh Sahib?". Too bling for my tastes I must say even back then as a kid.

[HKaur16]

Hahahahahahaha omg this thread LOL!!!

[Singhshaster]

To OP

Don't listen to these jokers. Just try and think of the opposite sex as sisters and mothers.

[sabnakeerenka]

Look down and don't look into their eyes....I think Sant Baba Harnam Singh Rampur Khera Vale used to do this (don't quote me).

[S4NGH]

As a kid at the Gurdwara listening to kirtan, I use to love checking out the various harmoniums whenever a kirtani jatha would perform on stage. When one of the jatha had a white harmonium it use to make me very happy. The harmoniums with the sticker 'BINA' use to make me giggle; I use to wonder whether it was like 'Tere Bina' or something like that.

Lmao :D

[kullykhalsa]

Look down and don't look into their eyes....I think Sant Baba Harnam Singh Rampur Khera Vale used to do this (don't quote me).

haha yeah helps if you turn around when you tak to them and blindfold yourself lol

ifyou look into their eyes u will turn to stone ala medusa kaur

[sabnakeerenka]

haha yeah helps if you turn around when you tak to them and blindfold yourself lol

ifyou look into their eyes u will turn to stone ala medusa kaur

A quote from Se Kinehiya:

"This incident gave Baba Ji such great fortitude and willpower that, for the 34 years he lived amongst his family and the village, he never looked upon another woman with bad intentions. He would go about his daily work, in and around his house, with his gaze lowered, in respect and humility. As a result, of this thinking, lustful thoughts would never arise in his mind or cloud his conscience. Except for his mother, Baba Ji would avoid trivial chitchat with other women.......He did not feel any temptation from desires, in attaining spiritual heights. He believed that the eyes play a major role in making our mind wander outside. Whatever a man sees with his eyes, is received by the mind and under the attraction of materialistic things, the mind then wanders outwardly. The more we try to control this extrovert nature of the mind, the quicker we'll be able to concentrate our mind on meditation. All spiritual achievements are proportional to the concentration of our mind. It is essential that the mind be controlled, by restraining the eyes" (pgs 47 and 48).

Veer Ji, it worked for Sant Harnam Singh, there's no reason why the idea should be brushed off as silly and laughed about. These were the bachans of Mahapurakh, not just silly old me who knows nothing and is in no state to be giving advice to others.

It may not be practicable at all times, but when it can be, then why not?

[kullykhalsa]

I quote from Se Kinehiya:

"This incident gave Baba Ji such great fortitude and willpower that, for the 34 years he lived amongst his family and the village, he never looked upon another woman with bad intentions. He would go about his daily work, in and around his house, with his gaze lowered, in respect and humility. As a result, of this thinking, lustful thoughts would never arise in his mind or cloud his conscience. Except for his mother, Baba Ji would avoid trivial chitchat with other women.......He did not feel any temptation from desires, in attaining spiritual heights. He believed that the eyes play a major role in making our mind wander outside. Whatever a man sees with his eyes, is received by the mind and under the attraction of materialistic things, the mind then wanders outwardly. The more we try to control this extrovert nature of the mind, the quicker we'll be able to concentrate our mind on meditation. All spiritual achievements are proportional to the concentration of our mind. It is essential that the mind be controlled, by restraining the eyes" (pgs 47 and 48).

Veerjee, it worked for Sant Harnam Singh, there's no reason why the idea should be brushed off as silly and laughed about. These were the bachans of Mahapurakh, not just silly old me who knows nothing and is in no state to be giving advice to others.

It may not be practicable at all times, but when it can be, then why not?

i feel its impractical for me, if a sant does something i dont really care i look to gurbani to guide me. Bani says to control your 5 chor with simran and talk to women as your sisters. Would i look my sister in the eye when i talk to her? yes so this denotes i should do the same.

In fact what Harnam singh is actually doing is avoiding a situation where he has kaam but what happens if he comes across a women and meets her eye, this is not controlling but avoidance. Sikhs are meant to partake in the world not hide away