protection after marriage

[N30S1NGH]

I have seen many cases of amritdhari being divorced. Number one reason amritdhari being divorced because they think can their other partner is some sort of maya test- its ought break their sikhi like shaudra(low caste) is ought to get pandit break his penances. But at the end it comes down to perception.

If you cannot have bhog with your wife when other party gives clues then may be you shouldn't be in the gristhi jevani at the first place. One party living like behingum in gristhi jevan is big no, causes many issues. It's not recommended by mahapursh nor its recommended by senior gurmukhs.

But the key issue is - spiritual life should intertwine with your social life but intertwine not replace, thats key difference here..guru maharaj gave us order to live life socially and be in gristh jeevan for that we are given social puratan granths like- prem sumarag granth etc etc.

Prem Sumarag granth one of puratan and progressive granths- how to live life socially.singhs have to remember - for the most part- female having bhog with their husband..its more feeling of deep love towards their husband..singhs himself should not be attached with bhog (be nirlaip be still engage) as naturally we tend to be more kaami but singh should engage in bhog with their singhani to keep her happy so she does not feel frustrated inside.

You could also look at your own self or perception very carefully and honestly with your bibek buddhi and test yourself, if your perception is based on western standards of bhog birthi (fullfilling your desires), without any question you are kaami you are slave of panj choor, but if your perception is sabh gobind hai sabh gobind hai and showing affection then its fine he/she comes under- "sabh gobind hai sabh gobind hai" then your mind is becoming part of higher dristhi kaun (perception) of sabh gobind hai..!!!

So coming backing to the topic if you think using protection is evil that is being influenced by protestant sikhi (wrathful christian god waiting to wimp us like taliban with a stick) at the end of day it depends on perception- i think most of us have wrapped our head around rules so much that itself have became a roadblock and have back fired miserably- no point running away from your fears and shove them under carpet- one day it will revolt and come back out ugly and haunt you...these roadblocks could only be broken if one is honest with themselves and try to do inner khoj at the end one will find perception is everything in sikhi...I used to be like this when i first got into sikhi but finally got salvation from cultish/black and white mentality now by maharaj kirpa i see gurmat from eagle eye - full 360 degree view..maharaj bless with this amazing clear view of Gurmat from eagle eye, its a beautiful view worth living and die for over and over again until fully loosing yourself in Ik Ongkar..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest a nobody]

Isnt fulfiling your desires part of love making? And looking at N30singhs beautiful post, if i havent misunderstood, that would come as a western thing? Maybe the difference between the two should be emphasised further as it can be interpreted from many ways.

[N30S1NGH]

Isnt fulfiling your desires part of love making? And looking at N30singhs beautiful post, if i havent misunderstood, that would come as a western thing?

Thanks for the response ji.

It depends on perception at the moment of making love. One may not see it as :"fulfilling your desire" rather one may see it as - expression of love shown towards the other party and that supersedes the fulfilling the desire part. I meant you just gotta be honest with yourself, use it a test- how much of bhog you do? to full fill kaami desire?? and how much is it happening to show expression of love?

Bhog itself have many aspects, oral stuff/sodomy is definitely - kaam- there is no way one can justify that. I know its quite personal for everyone, but at the end of day - you just gotta be honest with your self and use it a test and gauge your avastha.

I be honest with sangat, there are times i do have bhog , and my perception itself during the bhog is quite kaami but there are times, during bhog my perception is more aligned with showing affection towards my partner and my perception is much more cleaner/serene and divine but be honest with yourself and you can tell the difference. It's hard to explain. Hopefully, one can understand where i am coming from.

[S1ngh]

I think only married sikh couple or are in near 30's should have a say on this topic. Others should not get involve in this but can learn from more mature sangat.

Do What You Say, You will Do.

[Guest anonymous]

I wouldnt agree with pills etc, apologies for the use of language, but condoms should be absoluteley fine.i think contraception is allowed, who else are we meant to make love with. As long as its your wife, and only your wife then that should be ok

[Guest Random Singh]

Intercourse with contraception within a marriage is fine. We live in maya, yes it's an illusion but we live in the world, we are not yogis that separate ourselves from world affairs. We don't destroy lust, we control it.

Get married and enjoy having sex, nothing wrong with that.

[Guest gurveer.k]

Thank-you for all the feedback.I have read through each and every post, I understand from the sangats views that it is all about how far we takes things, and nothing should change the way we are in terms of Sikhi and amritwela. Thank-you to all the posters that gave good advice.

[Guest WTH]

Sikhs cannot use protection! it is dirt. Sikis got to be pure.

[Guest diagree]

Some guys got to chill, 'WTH' your post just shows that you cannot listen to other views. where does it say such thing!? married life is beautiful

[Wicked Warrior]

I disagree with "sex is for babies only". Food is to keep you nourished yet how many on here have indulged by eating chocolate, samosas, biscuits etc? These can be considered unnecessary too. Yet we eat them. They're distributed in the Gurdwara. For what purpose other than pleasure? How many eat parathas? How many butter their rotis?

Sex, like everything else, needs to be in moderation. Just like eating junk food all day long is bad for your health, constantly thinking and indulging in sex is just as bad for your mind.

Which is the lesser of evils: birth control to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, or abortion for an unwanted pregnancy?