I Dont want to get Married

[Guest StrictSingh]

Wjkk wjkf

Long story short, my mother is orginising aranged marriage. I have told my.mother I not getting married unless the singhinis rehit maraydha is as strict as mine or close to it. I want a singhini who recites alot of bani and does alot of naam simran or as much as me. I dont care about how beautiful whatever she is but my parents dont understand. Im am willing to be behangam (not married for life) for life. I dont care either way but im not getting married unless singhinis rehit i strict, i want a naam simran bani reciting wali singhini otherwise no

Im meeting girls family soon what do i do ???

Shes not how i want her to be ????

How do i say no without being disrespectful??

[Guest kaur]

Brother, you have very high expectation in women that may or may not be reached. I think you should meet these girls and

ask them about how they feel about Sikhi, etc.

Guru Sahib always has a plan for you - so go with the flow. Know that everything is for the best.

If you meet a sighni that you think is not at the standard of yours - make her that way.

A husband a wife are supposed to make each other BETTER. Neither you or her are perfect but as long

as she is willing to do what you want her to do (and this shouldn't be by force of course) then it's all good.

[savinderpalsingh]

Waheguruuuuu waheeeguuuuruuuu

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

i head ya what you going through , i am going though same thing

well

family doesnt matter much but yea , if not amritdhari they atleast be non drinkers/smokers and honest earners and have firm belief in Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji !!

Kinda hard to come by Singhni with same view as ours

but yea we have to cut it short somewhere . after she see's your love for bani , ofcourse she will understand . but yes you do get some lone time with the girl to clear doubts

well. ask her about her rehat how is she following it , but dont start with first question as that haha

you do not have to answer her directly at that time , discuss with yer folks and they will give answer to her parents

[Guest]

I don't wana get married but my parents will force me lol...

[luckysingh99]

Always make it clear to who you meet about what you want and ask what they want.

Then address any doubts or questions you have and ask her to do the same

Must warn you that all those that keep high expectations never seem to settle.

Having high expectations is not a good thing and not very gurmat either ! :ohno:

[GurujisDaughter]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Well the best thing you can is Ardaas to Guru Sahib! Our lives are really not as complicated as we think, we as human get stuck in situation but forget that really, its Guru Sahib who is controlling EACH and EVERY thing! Everything will be fine as Guru ji listens to their children.

Another thing, alot of people are saying in this post that dont have high expectations. I don't know, but in my opinion I do not think it is "expectation" or anything. A loving child of Guru Sahib will only want to be with another loving child of Guru ji. It is just simple. And It makes sense when you say you would better not marry anyone unless it is not true Gursikh. I think this is better and more according to Gurmat than lowering your"expectations" and being with someone who dosn't love Guru ji as much. The best is when two souls are on almost equal level of spirituality. I would suggest when you meet people, have alot of meetings and talk about Sikhi and share eachothers views. This way you will get a better idea.

And veerji, you really don't need to "settle" for less! :nono: Wait for the right person and Guru ji will take care of when she will meet you.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa

Waheguru ji ki Fateh

ਮਾਤ ਪਿਤਾ ਬਨਿਤਾ ਸੁਤ ਬੰਧਪ ਇਸਟ ਮੀਤ ਅਰੁ ਭਾਈ ॥

Mother, father, spouse, children, relatives, lovers, friends and siblings,

ਬਨਿਤਾ = ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ। ਸੁਤ = ਪੁੱਤਰ। ਬੰਧਪ = ਰਿਸ਼ਤੇਦਾਰ। ਇਸਟ = ਪਿਆਰੇ, ਇਸ਼ਟ। ਅਰੁ = ਅਤੇ।

ਹੇ ਭਾਈ! ਮਾਂ ਪਿਉ, ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ, ਪੁੱਤਰ, ਰਿਸ਼ਤੇਦਾਰ, ਪਿਆਰੇ ਮਿੱਤਰ ਅਤੇ ਭਰਾ-

ਪੂਰਬ ਜਨਮ ਕੇ ਮਿਲੇ ਸੰਜੋਗੀ ਅੰਤਹਿ ਕੋ ਨ ਸਹਾਈ ॥੧॥

meet, having been associated in previous lives; but none of them will be your companion and support in the end. ||1||

ਪੂਰਬ = ਪਹਿਲੇ। ਸੰਜੋਗੀ = ਸੰਜੋਗਾਂ ਨਾਲ। ਅੰਤਹਿ = ਅਖ਼ੀਰ ਵੇਲੇ। ਕੋ = ਕੋਈ ਭੀ। ਸਹਾਈ = ਸਾਥੀ ॥੧॥

ਇਹ ਸਾਰੇ ਪਹਿਲੇ ਜਨਮਾਂ ਦੇ ਸੰਜੋਗਾਂ ਕਰਕੇ (ਇਥੇ) ਮਿਲ ਪਏ ਹਨ। ਅਖ਼ੀਰ ਵੇਲੇ ਇਹਨਾਂ ਵਿਚੋਂ ਕੋਈ ਭੀ ਸਾਥੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਬਣਦਾ ॥੧॥

Stop worrying, whether you will get married and to whom is already written (Destiny).

ਚਤੁਰਾਈ ਸਿਆਣਪਾ ਕਿਤੈ ਕਾਮਿ ਨ ਆਈਐ ॥ ਤੁਠਾ ਸਾਹਿਬੁ ਜੋ ਦੇਵੈ ਸੋਈ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਈਐ ॥੩॥

Just do Ardas and go with the flow.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa NOT Wjkk

Waheguru ji ki fateh NOT Wjkf

[gurdeepsinghjohal]

Waheguruuuuu waheeeguuuuruuuu

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

i head ya what you going through , i am going though same thing

well

family doesnt matter much but yea , if not amritdhari they atleast be non drinkers/smokers and honest earners and have firm belief in Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji !!

Kinda hard to come by Singhni with same view as ours

but yea we have to cut it short somewhere . after she see's your love for bani , ofcourse she will understand . but yes you do get some lone time with the girl to clear doubts

well. ask her about her rehat how is she following it , but dont start with first question as that haha

you do not have to answer her directly at that time , discuss with yer folks and they will give answer to her parents

Please invite me in your marriage. :biggrin2:

[Guest word to the wise]

To the original poster, please beware of this "Let the parents say no" nonsense.. I know peopel whos parents have refused to pass on the "no" and have said yes instead and have startrd turning up the pressure to try and force the marriage through. Trust me it still happens plently.

If you are sure after speaking to someone that you dont wish to pursue this any further, say something polite like "you're a nice person but I dont think we are right for one another", or "I think we are looking for different things in life". Believe me, you can give her the hint in a respectful way without judging her for anything, and protect yourself from being dragged into drama by parents who are desperate to get the job done and in the spirit of bollywood arent afraid to fake a heart attack to seal the deal! Trust me, protect yourself. It still happens plenty often to guys and girls!

[VanHelsingh]

Wjkk wjkf

Long story short, my mother is orginising aranged marriage. I have told my.mother I not getting married unless the singhinis rehit maraydha is as strict as mine or close to it. I want a singhini who recites alot of bani and does alot of naam simran or as much as me. I dont care about how beautiful whatever she is but my parents dont understand. Im am willing to be behangam (not married for life) for life. I dont care either way but im not getting married unless singhinis rehit i strict, i want a naam simran bani reciting wali singhini otherwise no

Im meeting girls family soon what do i do ???

Shes not how i want her to be ????

How do i say no without being disrespectful??

Stick to your guns, Singh Ji. On matters like these one cannot compromise, trust me. Everyone talks before hand "Oh she'll see you and how dedicated to Sikhi you are, and she'll adjust accordingly". These are huge leaps of faith people expect others to take, and pearls of wisdom people dispense for others but when it comes to themselves they suddenly demand only the best.

So this is how you feel? Then Guru Ji WILL find you someone on your level. Be a mard, be strong, and tell your parents this is one area of your life you are unwilling to compromise. But be respectful as our parents must be treated with utmost respect.

Good luck and keep up the undeniable bharosa you have in Guru Ji. You will never fail.