Attachment And Destiny

[Shamshere]

I've started reading bani for the first time ever. So far I can see the following messages are repeated:

Remember god through naam simran.

Everything is preordained by god and we are not in control of our fate, we only receive liberation when he wants us to.

Don't love your parents, wife, children, only love god.

It everything is preordained then why bother with anything? You can take the attitude - 'if it's going to happen it will happen'

Not loving your family sounds a bit cold, why bother caring for your family?

Can someone please explain this to me? Do we have free will? Or is our destiny truly written on our forehead?

[Palarmux]

I dont myself believe that our destiny is written. I mean that would be SO unfair. I believe myself that god is merciful and god will give us chance to come to him and be saved.

and what comes to:

"Don't love your parents, wife, children, only love god.",

I think that means we have to love god more than our parents, wife and childrens. Which sounds pretty logical, since god has created us.

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[proud2bejatt]

It means you are a servant, serve.

A warrior's code is tonfoght, victory is God's.

The do nothing is your haumai speaking, cut its head off.

[UKLondonSikh]

UKL = Shamshere Paji i respect your interpretation but I'm just going to put below yours my interpretations.

UKL = Obviously we have our own interpretations as brothers within one Panth.

Sher = I've started reading bani for the first time ever. So far I can see the following messages are repeated:

Sher = Remember god through naam simran.

UKL = Whereby Naam Simran must be accompanied by practical action thereafter to achieve Sarbat Da Bhala.

Sher = Everything is preordained by god and we are not in control of our fate, we only receive liberation when he wants us to.

UKL = Everything that humans have the power to change is within our hands ... we control our own destiny to a great extent ... we only receive liberation through God's blessing (as opposed to God singling out Shamshere for liberation as opposed to Ramesh or Abdul)

Sher = Don't love your parents, wife, children, only love god.

UKL = Parents, wife and children are moh maya and cannot come before God. One who loves God will automatically treat their parents, wife, children correctly (with love for all)

Sher = It everything is preordained then why bother with anything? You can take the attitude - 'if it's going to happen it will happen'

UKL = To me Sikhi is clear cut that hardly anything is pre-ordained and that which may be can be re-written via our own efforts and prayers.

Sher = Not loving your family sounds a bit cold, why bother caring for your family?

UKL = A person that puts their family before God can be selfish. Whereas one who puts God first will think of Sarbat Da Bhala (and thus their family won't lose out anyway).

Sher = Do we have free will?

UKL = Absolutely we do and I believe Gurbani is clear about that.

Sher = Or is our destiny truly written on our forehead?

UKL = Metaphorically it may be. However, our actions influence our destiny in this life. The Genocide of Sikhs in 1947 and 1984 was not written by God.

UKL = But we accept all that happens as being part of Hukam nevertheless in a spiritual sense. But God can't be blamed for Islam and Indira Gandhi.

[TheFancyBanana]

Think of it like this. Say this life is a game. The ultimate aim is to join with God. Maya (this world) separates us from God. It creates a wall of illusion, much like a bubble in the ocean. That bubble is in the ocean, it is part of it, yet it acts like it is separate because of the bubble. This is just like us. Our hamai (hai=I, mai=me), our ego, sense of "self", gets in the way and stops us from realising waheguru.

This whole thought of "my freewill", comes from this sense of separation. Bani says "jo jo desai so so rogi" this means everyone I see is diseased. This disease is haumai. There is no separation from waheguru. Waheguru is everything, Waheguru is you, that light within everything is Waheguru. Waheguru is us. It is not "your" freewill. Everything is maharaj, waheguru makes everything happen.

"aad sach, jugaad sach, hai bhi sach". Waheguru is true always. He was true, he is true and he will be true. Waheguru hasn't written for you. He wasn't sitting somewhere writing out plots for everyone's life drama. We are creatures subject to time. God is "akaal". Timeless. God's "time", his watch would say now. God is now.

Going back to the vurri kalam. God is writing out now. We have freewill in the sense that right now, I am writing this answer out. We have to use this to focus our actions towards God. Start naam simran, doing good actions. With spiritual growth, you will realise it was never "you" in the first place. Lose the haumai and what is left? Waheguru is all that is left. Waheguru was doing everything anyway.

ਤੋਹੀ ਮੋਹੀ ਮੋਹੀ ਤੋਹੀ ਅੰਤਰੁ ਕੈਸਾ ॥ You are me, and I am You-what is the difference between us?

ਕਨਕ ਕਟਿਕ ਜਲ ਤਰੰਗ ਜੈਸਾ ॥੧॥ We are like gold and the bracelet, or water and the waves. ||1||

The emotional attachment is don't make that your focus. Don't make your family the only thing that matters in life. Remember Waheguru, which is the ultimate aim. Grisht jeevan is encouraged in Sikhi, to have a family. The Gurus didn't say "go into the forests", no they had families too. The main focus is don't make your life just about your family, remember Waheguru too.

[MokhamSingh]

It is the fly's destiny and pre-ordained to taste sugar. A lump of sugar lies in the middle of the road.

Scenario one:

A fly lands on top of the soft gooey lump of sugar, and begins to eat it.

Scenario two:

A fly sits on the side of the soft gooey sugar, and begins to eat it.

A car, at high speed races down that road. Both flies see the oncoming car, and try to save their lives by abandoning the sugar. The fly in scenario two escapes, since it is sitting on the side.

The fly in scenario one tries to escape but the gooey sugar grips it so forcefully, that it cannot break free.

The wheels of the car crushes the sugar lamp; killing the fly inside the sugar, which had become entrapped.

The wise fly flew off, abandoning the sugar, as soon as it saw the oncoming car.

We as humans, are like the flies; through Gurbani , we can become wise flies.....

Waheguru.....