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Guest PrincessK

Hi

I am hoping that you can give me some advice on this topic. I've developed feelings for a guy I've known my whole life, he feels the same way. We want to get married but the only problem is that his Dad and my Dad are from the same village back in India.

How much of a problem will this be and why? I don't fully understand the issue as we live in the UK and we don't have the same surname.

We've been friends for years and this is a much deeper emotional connection (not based on lust - as that's where we agreed to draw the line). We have tried to forget each other several times but this hasn't worked as we just end up back together.

We want to take things further and get our families involved but I'd like to know what I'm going to let myself in for before I do so.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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His dad is basically your chacha/ thia. As his from the same village as ur pops, they're 'brothers'. So according to that punjabi thinking, your essentially marrying ur cousin...which is seen as incest.

From a Sikhi perspective, i dont know. But as far as im aware, marrying someone from the same village or someone with the same surname or someone from your mums village is a big no no.

But your parents may not be so desi and since the guy doesnt share the same surname, your probz good to go. Im sure there will be talk but theres always talk...people needa get over themselves :)

All the best! Hope it works out

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Just to clear your conscious, I would try and find out more of why you have different surnames. I suppose you realize or are aware that it is not a caste issue and must have already checked that avenue.

Most villages with different surnames are usually because of settlers from different clans a some generations ago.

It would probably be a good idea if you could some how find out who actually settled from where.

There are 2 issues here, One is the sikhi aspects, from which I don't see a problem as far as I understand, and then there is the cultural punjabi aspect- which is the only problem of people talking gossip and crap , just as S4NGH pointed out above.

good luck

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Noooooooooooooooooo

lol.

Incest bad lol check your feelings, put them into trash can goodbye. lol

ਖਾਲਿਸਤਾਨ ਜ਼ਿੰਦਾਬਾਦ | ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ | ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਹਿ | |

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Guest Gurvinder

You have 30 years to live. Marry and be happy. Dont listen to anyone else as long as you are 100% sure he is the perfect husband and its worth it. Think of your happiness. This world would keep raising objections because they wont be living your life. Only you would be living your life and you would be responsible for your happiness. 10 years down the line no one from this forum is going to step in and ask you " Princess, are you happy?".

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 6 months later...

Cuz Teri phen lagdi a.......

people's morals have gone down the drain these says.

true could be your dadekey and his nanakey that's why the different surnames although your are related through blood... BIG NO NO

however as othe Veer ji pointed out one family could be a transplant ...but only way to find out is to ask awkward questions ....

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