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What do you call a Punjabi who stands six feet away from others..? Shoshal Distan Singh!

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  • 7 months later...

A man came home late at night after a party.

His wife yelled:

"How would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"

The man couldn’t believe his luck.

He blurted out: 'That would be great'!

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed too.....

On Friday his swelling became better and now he could see her from the corner of one eye. :lol2: :biggrin2:

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ON INDIAN POLITICIANS

While hair cutting, official Barber asked Kapil Sibal: “What’s this Swiss Bank issue?”

Kapil Sibal shouted: “You! Are you cutting my hair or making inquiry?”

Barber: “Sorry Sir, I just asked.”

Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked Chidambaram: “Sir, what’s this Black money issue?”

Chidambaram shouted: “Why did you ask me this question?”

Barber: “Sorry Sir, just asked you.”

Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber, “Are you an agent of Baba Ramdev?”

Barber: “No, Sir.”

CBI: “Are you the agent of Anna?”

Barber: “No, Sir.”

CBI: “Then while cutting the hair, why did you ask Congress Ministers about Swiss Bank and Black money issues?”

Barber: “Sir, I do not know why, but when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, Congress Ministers’ hairs stand up straight and that helps me to cut the hair easily. That’s why I keep asking.”

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  • 4 months later...
  • 1 month later...

Something on USA elections

 

 

Barack Obama and Donald  Trump somehow eded up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afarid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished the shaves, the one who had Trump on his chair, reached for the aftershave.

Trump was quick to stop him, saying : No thanks, my wife will smell that, and think I have been in a whorehouse.

The second barber turned to Obama and said, how about you?

Go ahead, my wife does not know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

:rofl:rofl:rofl:p

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Mangement and undermangement

 

A king had 10 wild dogs.
He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him.

A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.

The minister said,
"I served you loyally 10 years and you do this..?

The king was unrelenting.

Minister pleaded"Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs"
The king agreed.

In those 10 days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…

The guard was baffled…
But he agreed.
So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.

So when the 10 days were up…

The king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced .

When he was thrown in,
everyone was amazed at what they saw..
The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister..licking his feet.

The king was baffled at what he saw. ” what happened to the dogs? !!!” He growled.

The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn’t forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!”…

The king realised his mistake

and replaced the dogs? with crocodiles ?!!

Moral : When Management has decided ki tumhaari bajaani hai, toh bajaani hi hai ...that's final..

 

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A man went into the confessional box after years of being away from the church.

Inside he found a fully equipped bar with 'Guinness' on tap.

On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish Whiskies and Waterford Crystal Glasses ...

On the other wall, a dazzling array of the finest Liqueurs, Cigars and Chocolates.

Then the priest came in. And the man said : "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The father replied : "You <banned word filter activated>, you're on my side."

:rofl:pO:)

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