Why won't my mind stop??

[rKr]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

My dear veers and penji's out there i'm in dire need of your help.

I am a new one to this forum. Although I have secretly been reading the posts on this website for a long time, I've only just had the courage to speak with you all...

I've come into Sikhi from what I call, "the dark side" why? because although I am born into a Sikh Family, an amritdhari family - I managed to lose my path and succomb to the ills of this world. Oh how I wish I had stayed in my Guru Sahib's grace - but I didn't... I chose the path of my friends and was not strong enough in myself to stay true to my Guru Sahib..

I've since realised my Guru's grace and have turned back towards him. I'm amazed myself at my love for Sikhi, and although I know I am at just the first run of my ladder, and that there is such a long way to go, I also know that I am at a place now I never thought I would be - not ever in this lifetime. I have such good karam and such kirpa that Guru Sahib showed me back into his arms. how warm they are...

My problem starts here thou - I have my faith and live my life to Guru's hukam. The thing is, recently, we had a Sehej Path done at our home and we took hukam from Guru Sahib - they advised us to proceed with our plans - which we have done. However, the road is so, so hard.

My parents are forever telling me to keep my faith in Guru Sahib - they will not leave my ardaas unheard. But I think to myself, for all those times I turned my back on Guru Sahib, why would th

ey want to now help me?

I continue to do my path daily - more than I ever have - Naam is my one true hope - but still my mind pushes me to think my ardaas will never be heard. Forgive me Guru Sahib, I know I'm wrong, but my maan just won't let me be. I'm scared and so confused, and trying so hard to live by my Hukam - leaving it all in Guru Sahib's hands but the journey gets more and more difficult and the destination seems further and further away.

I know Guru Sahib is with me, only today, I was walking along, listening to my ipod and thinking about how bleak the future would be, should my ardaas remain unheard, and this was the shabad that instantly came on...

qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ]

thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar ||

Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you.

ijin pYdwieis qU kIAw soeI dyie AwDwru ]1]

jin paidhaaeis thoo keeaa soee dhaee aadhhaar ||1||

He who created you, will also give you nourishment. ||1||

I knew from the above Guru Sahib was and is on my side - I have spent countless day's in Guru Sahibs godhi, all alone at the Gurudwara, conversing with Guru Sahib - i feel so lucky that I have spent time alone with them - often weeping for the times I just didn't care...

Please my sadh sangat ji, I can't seem to get my maan to focus and leave the future in Guru Sahib's hand - I keep dholing, and don't want to.

The minute I convince myself that everything will be ok, something in this world pulls me away from Guru Sahib, and once again I'm left thinking "too much time is going I still don't know if things will go my way......." and I end up

in such a place that I'm neither here nor there...

What can I do...??

A sister in need...

Phul Chuk Maaf.

[sskhalsa]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

dunt worry, Guru jee will help you

Please my sadh sangat ji, I can't seem to get my maan to focus and leave the future in Guru Sahib's hand - I keep dholing, and don't want to.

listen to the katha done by Bhai bhupinder singh Jee below...it will help....this great gursikh tells of a meeting between guru jee and some devotees...these devotees could not concentrate on Vahgur Jee when doing naam simran and were giving up....but Guru jee gives them a very good analogy...listen carefully to it all:WW:

Bhai Bhupinder Singh Jee

stay strong....maya is everywhere...doubt floats everywhere...only true love of Guru jee and His grace will save you

bhol chuk maaf, im a moorakhh

Gurfateh jio

[uk_khalistani]

Sat sri akal .......YSL,

Don't worry no human is perfect and same goes for a Sikh. Try to do the best you can, I recommend you get your hands on a hardcopy of the japji sahib it is a jewel of light which should guide you through your dark periods of life.

[Harmeet Singh]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Bhenji

Guru Sahib says

pihlw mrxu kbUil jIvx kI Cif Aws ]

First, accept death, and give up any hope of life.

pahilaa maran kabool jeevan kee chhad aas.

When anyone who has accepted this reality gives everything to the Waheguru and doesn't think anything becasue what is going to happen is going to happen we have no control on it, and one gives everything to waheguru

Then I believe we have to

eyko sbdu vIcwrIAY Avr iqAwgY Aws ]

Contemplate the One Word of the Shabad, and abandon other hopes.

ayko sabad veechaaree-ai avar ti-aagai aas.

Aws inrwsI qau sMinAwsI ]

When you abandon hope and desire, then you become a true Sannyaasi.

aas niraasee ta-o sani-aasee.

sB qjhu dUjI AwsVI rKu Aws iek inrMkwr ]2]

Abandon all other hopes, and rest your hopes in the One Formless Lord. ||2||

sabh tajahu doojee aasrhee rakh aas ik nirankaar. ||2||

eykl icMqw rwKu Anµqw Aaur qjhu sB Awsw ry ]

Remember the One, Infinite Lord; abandon all other hopes.

aykal chintaa raakh anantaa a-or tajahu sabh aasaa ray.

Please go to srigranth.org

and search for Hope, there are very good shabads.

Waheguru doesn;t do anything wrong and makes error, dukh is only given by cruel and not waheguru ji.

Please forgive me if I have said anything wrong.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[1699]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

halo singh jee. i knwo exatcly how u feel. i feeel the same way all the time but u have to remember no loving parent ever turnsthere back on their child no matter how bad a deed they have commited. i dunno if u have read the poem called footprints but it sort of talkes of this problem. it just remindes u that guruji is always with u. but anything u have done in the past jus think of it as hukam. it happened in his hukam and now according to his hukam u have come back to sikhi. any time u feel u can;t handle it any more or why bother just do benti chaupia da paat. it was guru gobind singh jees own paat. Thats my two cents singh jee.

bhul chuk maf karo

p.s.: the poem is posted below in case u haven;t read it.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from anguish,

sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints,

so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,

“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,

my child, is when I carried you.”

Wahagur Je Ka

Khalsa!!

Wahagur Je Ke Fateh Fateh!!

[Gupat Singhni]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Dear bhenji,

May guru sahib continue to bless you. He is always there..forever by your side like a shadow. Kuljugh will try and conceal him from you but he is there..have faith and continue as you are and guru sahib will continue to walk towards you..At least you have left the dark side and come back to sikhi..if you are not already amritdhaari then i hope you can give you head to guru sahib soon..and let him bless you further..

Do not give in to the pull of the dark side, bhenji..the sangat here and elsewhere will continue to support you..and do not hesitate to ask if you need help. My ardaas is will you..

(sounds a bit like Lord of the Rings..sorry) :wub:

Bhul Chuk Maaf!

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

[Hum Paapi]

Don't worry veerji....i am going through the EXACT same thing every moement of my life...but i just try my best to keep faith and leave it in Guru sahibs hands....I wrote this poem a lil while ago...everytime i feel im down and i find it difficult to get upm I read this and it serves as inspiration....hopefully it'll help u aswell....

O My Waheguru

Help me see the light

O my Waheguru

Help me clear my sight

Help me meditate on the name of the Lord

Help me overcome the meaningless importance of the world

For time is nothing I can afford

O My Waheguru

Help me see the light

O My Waheguru

Help me clear my sight

Help me from getting caught

Help me utter your name in every thought

Help me and save me from this fight that I have fought

O My Waheguru

Help me see the light

O my Waheguru

Help me clear my sight

Help me serve others as I were to serve you

Help me spread the name of you, my Waheguru

Because only your name is true

Help me become one with you

O My Waheguru

Help me see the light

O my Waheguru

Help me clear my sight

Help me and lead the way

For here I cannot stay

I have gone so far from you

I no longer know what to do

I am so lost and aimless without thee

Come take me, away from my misery

lead the way Waheguru ji

For you are and always will be

The only thing in my life

That will remain true to me

[simmal tree]

dear bhainjee,

all the quotes in here are from gurbani and just pasted throughout to show that only guru jee has all the real answers..

vaaheguroojeekaakhaalsaa

vaaheguroojeekeefatheh!!!

i share your anxiety. i have also had some very dark and depressing times and i have also done some very regrettable and awful things in my life. in fact i have done MANY awful things and despite all of that, i think deep in my mind i always knew guru sahib would forgive me and because of that i continued to act in my reckless manner. asee khathay bahuth kamaavday anth na paaraavaar... nonetheless, i now realize that while guru sahib is merciful, he is also daaddaa and his law of karma is ath dteetd (very very strict and stubborn). jam kaa dand karaaraa bhaee...

but no matter what when we realize our mistake guru sahib always rescues us and gives us his blessings. he is full of love and he never thinks of our faults - kauraa bol na jaanai pooran bhagvaanai augan ko na chitaarai .... he will bless us. if there is anything that will hurt us - it is not him, but our actions returning to us according to his laws. apay beej apay hee khaau... so sikh sakhaa bandap hai bhaaee ko gur kay bhaanay vich aavai ... imagine a criminal system where the laws result in punishments, and the judge is dharamraaj but the king of the nation is akaal purakh and he can void any ruling of dharamraaj - he can even rip up our criminal record if he wants - that's how dayaal our guru father mother is... dharam raae ab kahaa karaigo jyo phaatio saglo laykhaa

i thought this shabad below is relevant to this situation - i am sure you will get through this challenge you are facin

g.

i cannot give you advice because i am a lowly manmukh and i myself have serious issues to resolve in my personal practice of rehit and sikhi.

nonetheless the saadh sangat and sri guru granth sahib ji are always there to support you in your time of difficulty. i know that any time i had difficulties they always brought me through, without fail.

saachaa naam mayraa aadhaaro

stay in chardeekalaa bhainjee,

please forgive my mistakes...

vaaheguroojeekaakhaalsaa

vaaheguroojeekeefatheh!!!!

sireeraag mehalaa 5 ghar 7 ||

thaerai bharosai piaarae mai laadd laddaaeiaa ||

bhoolehi chookehi baarik thoo(n) har pithaa maaeiaa ||1||

suhaelaa kehan kehaavan ||

thaeraa bikham bhaavan ||1|| rehaao ||

ho maan thaan karo thaeraa ho jaano aapaa ||

sabh hee madhh sabhehi thae baahar baemuhathaaj baapaa ||2||

pithaa ho jaano naahee thaeree kavan jugathaa ||

ba(n)dhhan mukath sa(n)thahu maeree raakhai mamathaa ||3||

bheae kirapaal t(h)aakur rehiou aavan jaanaa ||

gur mil naanak paarabreham pashhaanaa ||4||27||97||

Siree Raag, Fifth Mehl, Seventh House:

Relying on Your Mercy, Dear Lord, I have indulged in sensual pleasures.

Like a foolish child, I have made mistakes. O Lord, You are my Father and Mother. ||1||

It is easy to speak and talk,

but it is difficult to accept Your Will. ||1||Pause||

I stand tall; You are my Strength. I know that You are mine.

Inside of all, and outside of all, You are our Self-sufficient Father. ||2||

O Father, I do not know-how can I know Your Way?

He frees us from bondage, O Saints, and saves us from possessiveness. ||3||

Becoming Merciful, my Lord and Master has ended my comings and goings i

n reincarnation.

Meeting with the Guru, Nanak has recognized the Supreme Lord God. ||4||27||97||

[Gupat Singhni]

:wub:

Beautiful post Khalsapreet Singh & I love the poem Hum Paapi...