Sikh Male - Made Mistakes While Younger

[Singhni MiriPiri]

That comment was meant to be lighthearted, incidental to the rest of the post. I sense an explanation is in order of the foundation upon which it rests.

Basically bhenji, there are some women who like to know that a bloke has a romantic history, a backstory. Makes him a little more appealing to them. Unfortunately, immaculate virginity, which is considered an appealing and desired trait in a woman, carries a bit of a stigma for the male in our society. That's not an opinion of mine, it's just a sad truth of the West.

It carries stigma for both men and women. But like you said earlier, the past can be forgiven as long as they have good character.

[buddasingh]

Be honest with a Sikh woman you meet in the future. Tell her how you feel as you've stated here. In most cases you are not likely to make this the first conversation after meeting but disclose relatively early on with someone who may be a part of your future. Don't make it the last thing you disclose before a commitment is made.

Hopefully you're not continuing to carry on platonic conversations with the same person when the time comes. If you are it may make things more challenging.

With respect to your own stated preference it's an odd comment in the context of your post.The preference is fine but it's because it's one important criteria to measure values. The preference is not about permanently labeling a woman. Just as mistakes made by you or any man should not be permanent labels.

[sikhni777]

The past should be left to remain the past.

The future needs to be worked at.

We are allowed to learn through our mistakes. A mistake which teaches you something at the end of it is not called a mistake but a lesson.

When we learn a lesson from our past mistakes, then we should take care to remember the lesson and not the mistake.

If we have made a mistake in the past, then we should try not to repeat that mistake in the future.

When we keep our lesson in mind, then others do not need to know of our mistake as nobody tends to benefit from our mistake.

As time goes by, we forget our mistake and it does not matter at all.

Future partners do not need to know of your mistakes as it can affect your future with your partner. (You risk rejection if you keep steeping yourself in your mistakes and the lessons which you learned from your mistakes, which are not mistakes any more now - all because you have learned your lesson which will prevent you from making the mistake in the future)

A bright future can only be made if you concentrate on your strengths and talk positively about you and be positive about your partner.

A bright future will only come if you allow your partner to see the better side of you and to help you achieve and become even bettter.

A bright future will only result if you keep working at it positively.

EVeryone wants a positively oriented partner who works towards a bright future and who helps and encourages them to work towards a bright future too.

Relationships are not about the past but about your bright future which will only be bright if you work towards making it bright by being positively oriented towards making your and your partners future as bright as you can possibly make it.

Teach us all something which we can learn from your being positive and creating your bright future.

[MisterrSingh]

Chances are, if you honestly admit to it, most women will completely understand. They might themselves admit to something similar. Who knows, they may even find you more charming because of it.

That's very true. I don't agree with it, but it's something that is becoming prevalent in the mentality of a certain type of female.

[Balkaar]

That's very true. I don't agree with it, but it's something that is becoming prevalent in the mentality of a certain type of female.

Hollywood/Bollywood's handiwork I think.