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Need Help Regarding Family Member


ghettosikh
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I really need help right now. A cousin of mine who is older than me is planning on marrying a hindu guy in a mandir this year. This really angers me because I've grown up with her and she has been like an older sister to me. She used to be very far from Sikhi and I thought I was bringing her closer to it but I guess I was wrong. What makes me even more sad is that her mother n father support this marriage and are baisicaly throwing their roots out the window for worldly gains. I have told my parents straight up I refuse to attend the wedding and I know this will hurt her but I really don't care. (Her sisters also are refusing to go aswell)

Should I cut off ties with her and convince my parents also not to attend as a sign of protest or what. Normally I wouldn't care but the fact that she used to look after me when we were kids and were REALLY close saddens me.

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I really need help right now. A cousin of mine who is older than me is planning on marrying a hindu guy in a mandir this year. This really angers me because I've grown up with her and she has been like an older sister to me. She used to be very far from Sikhi and I thought I was bringing her closer to it but I guess I was wrong. What makes me even more sad is that her mother n father support this marriage and are baisicaly throwing their roots out the window for worldly gains. I have told my parents straight up I refuse to attend the wedding and I know this will hurt her but I really don't care. (Her sisters also are refusing to go aswell)

Should I cut off ties with her and convince my parents also not to attend as a sign of protest or what. Normally I wouldn't care but the fact that she used to look after me when we were kids and were REALLY close saddens me.

Its a sad state of affairs when we are forced to make choices like these in the first place and advice on these matters is tricky because you can never please every camp. As long as she is not getting married at the Gurdwara that is at least one positive but for sure I would find something like this very hard to swallow. I've broken ties with one guy who got married to a Muslim lady at Sheperd's Bush Gurdwara and do not attend any of his daughter's parties, functions. His parents are perfectly fine with me as they themselves are dukhi but are fulfilling their duty as parents. As a matter of principle I would not attend interfaith weddings at the Gurdwara, but with this type of situation its a different ball game altogether and not something I've given much thought tbh.

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Thank you guys for the advice. I am still firm on my stance on not attending and I also forgot to mention that the wedding will be taking place in India. The reason I'm so bothered was as I said I was really close to her. Due to her marrying out like this a whole generation of potential Sikhs from my family is gone as I imagine that the kids will be raised as Hindus rather than Sikhs but I guess at the end of the day the choice has been made and there really isn't anything I can do at this point.

As far as the wedding goes I'm pretty sure it's just going to be what Hindus typicaly do (of which I have no knowledge of) and the guy is not from Punjab but from Bengal and it will be held in his state. The reason I don't want my parents to attend is also due to this fact I'm worried that they will participate in rituals like bowing down to idols which is a big no no. I really don't like to cause drama but I will always chose my Sikhi before anything else in the world

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All you can do is accept this as the hukam of Waheguru. Marriages are made in heaven and carried out on earth. If her heart is not in sikhi then you can't blame yourself All you can do is be a good sikh yourself and see all in one light. Sikhs do not look down upon any ond else. Its not the best of situations to be in in. If she looked after you when you were young this is the least you can do for her as a payback. Do attend her wedding and wish her best of luck. Remember always its Waheguru's will which always happens not ours. Its not for us to choose who will marry who and which religion they will choose to follow.

Interfaith marriages held at the Gurdwara are also in the will of Vaheguru, does not make them right though. It's not upon looking down on anyone but sticking to Sikhi asools.

Even if we take Sikhi out of the picture for a sec, it is a kick in the teeth for any parent when children blatantly go against their wishes and leave them between a rock and a hard place for life.

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Its deffo a hard choice 'ghettosikh', i recently last yr had a similar situation to contend with. My cousin, who is same age as me, n very close to me since birth, married a hindu panjabi kanjar, in an illegal anand karaj, which i refused to attend. Primary reason was coz it was a beadbi wedding, which was followed by a hindu fire wedding and then also coz the guy was an A grade pr!ck. She no longer talks to me, n i suppose likewise. Only thing is, as mentioned, with u, atleast its not happening in a gurdwara on the sly, conducted by corrupt money hungry gianis.

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