Sas Mohan Singh on sikh channel tonight

[dallysingh101]

1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

it is stupid people who don't recognise their duties as a parent who talk like you , read Anand Sahib and what we are supposed to do : show them how to traverse in this world on a gurmat path, with love , sure you can admonish but then comes the teaching through vicharna and then the embrace . Beating just shuts down channel of communication and harshness will make them avoid you when trouble comes . They are not YOUR possessions but a special  sewa and take it in that light.

Look, there was a time and place when such things were a norm and no one questioned their practice in our community. Now, I'm not inclined to beat kids myself (especially girls, who might grow up to be a ho in bitter revenge! I've seen it happen!), but I've also seen the liberal, open, communicative approach being totally  disastrous. I mean even recently some Amritdhari kid posted here about his sister who was sneaking around with goray and lying about it despite an open and liberal upbringing. This ain't uncommon.  

Kids are different, some are more physically robust than others, and some more emotionally sensitive. Some are naturally more deceptive and sneaky than others, some more brave. 

The modern  middle class theory of child rearing, which totally excludes physical punishment, has its positives and negatives like any other approach. What we can perhaps agree on is that savagely beating your kids for minor things is a disgrace. 

[jkvlondon]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

Look, there was a time and place when such things were a norm and no one questioned their practice in our community. Now, I'm not inclined to beat kids myself (especially girls, who might grow up to be a ho in bitter revenge! I've seen it happen!), but I've also seen the liberal, open, communicative approach being totally  disastrous. I mean even recently some Amritdhari kid posted here about his sister who was sneaking around with goray and lying about it despite an open and liberal upbringing. This ain't uncommon.  

Kids are different, some are more physically robust than others, and some more emotionally sensitive. Some are naturally more deceptive and sneaky than others, some more brave. 

The modern  middle class theory of child rearing, which totally excludes physical punishment, has its positives and negatives like any other approach. What we can perhaps agree on is that savagely beating your kids for minor things is a disgrace. 

As my mum said , all kids are not the same so you go with what works with them , what worked with me didn't work with my kid bro (major coconut) I understand that . Yes I've spoken harshly , once or twice hit for dangerous stuff , removed possessions of eldest (who got into kusangat) even housekeys  because of wrong attitude about getting home when he promised (stop out without texting or call) now at nineteen giving bad example to younger ones .

But I've not had the same dramas at all with the twins although they had same treatment when younger , as I suggested I recognise that they are naturally different than elder brother so that is part of it but the earlier growing up treatment means that they all tell me their messups truthfully without any hesitations and trust me to listen and they will  ask my advice . My Dad said something once in passing ,' they are trainee adults'  and it's true if you look at it that way it gives you an idea of what they need to know and avoid to become positive assets to the world . 
 

Now my main concern is my daughter she is headstrong like the eldest , and I can see if she hangs with the wrong crowd at school she could easily become very superficial and self-centred , also given TV and films these days that agenda is pushed heavily. So I have to find her particular code to get through to her and instil good values and gurmat khial.

[dallysingh101]

Quote

 removed possessions of eldest (who got into kusangat) even housekeys  because of wrong attitude about getting home when he promised (stop out without texting or call) now at nineteen giving bad example to younger ones .

I don't know. This seems like normal boy behaviour to me. Sometimes I think many apnay mothers are too controlling/protective of boys. I think it actually helps their (the boys) development to let them push boundaries - a bit. It's good to let them out to experience the world in all its good and bad. It teaches them a lot about life, as long they aren't major lemmings.  But I know what it is like, the girls start crying about that being unfair, but like my mum used to say to me: "It's different for girls, boys can't come home with a baby in their stomachs." Plus with all the grooming and targeting of apneean in these days, you have to be extra careful.  

 

Quote

Now my main concern is my daughter she is headstrong like the eldest , and I can see if she hangs with the wrong crowd at school she could easily become very superficial and self-centred , also given TV and films these days that agenda is pushed heavily. So I have to find her particular code to get through to her and instil good values and gurmat khial.

This is a major concern for our people. I've always thought that females brought up in the west (i.e. mothers/aunties) would be in the best position to understand and guide younger daughters. It's people like you that have to shed light on this matter to the wider panth. When blokes do it, we get accused of all manner of ish like being patriarchal or misogynistic etc. etc. 

[jkvlondon]

3 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

I don't know. This seems like normal boy behaviour to me. Sometimes I think many apnay mothers are too controlling/protective of boys. I think it actually helps their (the boys) development to let them push boundaries - a bit. It's good to let them out to experience the world in all its good and bad. It teaches them a lot about life, as long they aren't major lemmings.  But I know what it is like, the girls start crying about that being unfair, but like my mum used to say to me: "It's different for girls, boys can't come home with a baby in their stomachs." Plus with all the grooming and targeting of apneean in these days, you have to be extra careful.  

 

This is a major concern for our people. I've always thought that females brought up in the west (i.e. mothers/aunties) would be in the best position to understand and guide younger daughters. It's people like you that have to shed light on this matter to the wider panth. When blokes do it, we get accused of all manner of ish like being patriarchal or misogynistic etc. etc. 

about vadda I have told him  don't mind socialising etc just tell us which location in London you are at and when you heading home , after months of going out and not texting or picking up and staying up late for him I just had it ; three chances then punishment . I think this is part of the problem when people say stupid stuff like it's different a guy can't come home with a baby errr if he doesn't keep it under control any guy can get pregnant with a random girl and then it becomes a problem for the whole family. I prefer to let them all know that I want zero grandchildren out of wedlock and preferably no sex underage or out of wedlock , no difference. 

Because little sis is a preteen I need to lay done the self-respect rules for all four of them , no one should accept this BS ideology that you are incomplete as an adult if you haven't done it (same old tired lines). I don't want my boys to be hypocrites like the amritdhari boys I knew as a kid who were going out with white and black girls to use and drop, but at the same time I'm not an 1d1ot there is massive peer pressure from non-sikh and surprisingly sikh quarters.

So the rules is see how the person is as a human even before you make any kind of move . So far it's saved the twins once each because they fell for girls who turned out to be players and it ultimately turned them off emotionally because of their superficial natures . They are now concentrating on their own lives and sikhi ; love can happen later.

They also have noted how crass their mates are towards their girls and women in general and have said how they don't relate to them. The twins have intervened with a sikh girl at college who was getting physically hit by a guy who was supposedly a friend , getting her to see that she is not at fault and that she doesn't have to accept that behaviour.

Waheguru ji has done so much kirpa on us , just need some effort on my part to get through to the eldest and youngest. 

[Big_Tera]

On 01/11/2016 at 10:55 PM, jkvlondon said:

how do you get them to do their homework and chores like that ???

 

They will do them

[Big_Tera]

One simple thing parents need to do. Especially with girls is keep an eye out for them.  not just let them do what they want. They will end up thinking their own parents dont care what they do.

One big tip for parents out there is - Check what your kids are up to in the library. This is a major place where grooming can occur.  

parents often think their kids are safe and well in library and will be just doing their studies . They are happy when they know their child is in the library. 

BIG MISTAKE. -LIBRARY - Groomers paradise

I live in a Sikh/Hindu/Muslim area that is very mixed.  I dont normally use library's but have had to due to my internet going down for the last 4 months.  To cut a long story short.  I have have been spending a lot of time in the library doing work related jobs that I cant do at home.  ive already seen 2 Sikh girls around 17/18 year olds hanging around large groups of muslims.  I have no idea where the parents of these girl are. all I see is muslims girls being very respectful and sitting with other muslim girls.  I see Hindu girls sitting with other hindu girls or boys.  

But the Sikh girls are very open to being groomed. I dont know their parents but would love to go around their house and say come to the libiary and see what is happening. your kids are not just innocently in the library doing their studies.  they are getting up to no good chatting to muslim boys and exchanging numbers ect. This is the age when they get up to no good. This isnt the girls fault.  but the parents.  Muslims boys must be thinking these girls own parents dont care what they do. is it any wonder this happens in the Sikh community. 

I dont blame the girls if their own parents cant be bothered to come to the libiary and see what is happeneing.  they will just continue to do what they are doing.  this isnt about Some Sikh girls being more easy.  its a simple matter of complete failure of their parents to bring them up correctly and keep an eye on them. I dont even blame these girls.  They are just free to do what they want.  the muslims girls know their parents will come to the library to keep an eye on them.  but the Sikh parents must be to busy watching zee tv.  While their own kids are being led astray. 

 

[Ranjeet01]

On 07/11/2016 at 3:29 PM, jkvlondon said:

 

This is a major concern for our people. I've always thought that females brought up in the west (i.e. mothers/aunties) would be in the best position to understand and guide younger daughters. It's people like you that have to shed light on this matter to the wider panth. When blokes do it, we get accused of all manner of ish like being patriarchal or misogynistic etc. etc. 

 

Dally

 

The problem you have is that the older generations of women born in the UK got up to the same shenanigans that the younger generation have got up to back in the 80's and 90's . 

So you have 2 things

1. The older generation of UK born girls are in no position to dictate to the younger generation of UK born girls because it makes them look hypocritical . 

2. The older generation of UK born girls tacitly support the younger generation doing these things because it is feeds into entitlement/fempowerment a lot of women feel they have without the responsibility that comes with it.

 

[Ranjeet01]

17 minutes ago, Big_Tera said:

One simple thing parents need to do. Especially with girls is keep an eye out for them.  not just let them do what they want. They will end up thinking their own parents dont care what they do.

One big tip for parents out there is - Check what your kids are up to in the library. This is a major place where grooming can occur.  

parents often think their kids are safe and well in library and will be just doing their studies . They are happy when they know their child is in the library. 

BIG MISTAKE. -LIBRARY - Groomers paradise

I live in a Sikh/Hindu/Muslim area that is very mixed.  I dont normally use library's but have had to due to my internet going down for the last 4 months.  To cut a long story short.  I have have been spending alot of time in the library doing work related jobs that I cant do at home.  ive already seen to Sikh girls around 17/18 year olds hanging around large groups of muslims.  I have no idea where the parents of these girl are. all I see is muslims girls being very respectful and sitting with other muslim girls.  I see Hindu girls sitting with other hindu girls or boys.  

But the Sikh girls are very open to being groomed. I dont know their parents but would love to go around their house and say come to the libiary and see what is happening. your kids are not just innocently in the library doing their studies.  they are getting up to no good chatting to muslim boys and exchanging numbers ect. This is the age when they get up to no good. 

I dont blame the girls if their own parents cant be bothered to come to the libiary and see what is happeneing.  they will just continue to do what they are doing.  this isnt about Some Sikh girls being more easy.  its a simple matter of complete failure of their parents to bring them up correctly and keep an eye on them. I dont even blame these girls.  They are just free to do what they want.  the muslims girls know their parents will come to the library to keep an eye on them.  but the Sikh parents must be to busy watching zee tv.  While their own kids are being led astray. 

 

It ain't going to happen.

[dallysingh101]

Quote

the muslims girls know their parents will come to the library to keep an eye on them.  but the Sikh parents must be to busy watching zee tv.  While their own kids are being led astray. 

Nah, I think it's more of a case of other Muslims would grass up the sulli that would do this quicktime, and she would be on lock down super-quick. Apnay are so dumb, that if someone told the apnee's parents about their daughter, they wouldn't believe them, or would cover it up - sending a clear message to the bunderi that she can do these things and have no big consequences. That's why many apneean end up being the 'bike' in sullay areas. There were loads of them when I was growing up - and they didn't want to hear anything.

What is really needed in the situation you described above is some tough cousins in the vicinity, who would deter and slap up the tonday lover boys (and maybe plant a light one on the girl too?), but we are in catch 22 with this, with apnee mums raising their sons like b1tches, who would never go there.

In Walthamstow, near where I grew up, sullay would never tolerate the kind of shite we see apneean doing all the time from sullian. A few girls tried and got slapped  - and that put the others in check. lol That's how they pretty much stopped sulliyan going to bhangra gigs in the 80s/90s - and created a free for all with apneean for themselves as a result. 

And let me pre-empt all you 'feminists' out there with my middle finger in anticipation of your bull5hit reactive outburst to what I've posted.  

[Ranjeet01]

On 07/11/2016 at 3:29 PM, jkvlondon said:

about vadda I have told him  don't mind socialising etc just tell us which location in London you are at and when you heading home , after months of going out and not texting or picking up and staying up late for him I just had it ; three chances then punishment . I think this is part of the problem when people say stupid stuff like it's different a guy can't come home with a baby errr if he doesn't keep it under control any guy can get pregnant with a random girl and then it becomes a problem for the whole family. I prefer to let them all know that I want zero grandchildren out of wedlock and preferably no sex underage or out of wedlock , no difference. 

Because little sis is a preteen I need to lay done the self-respect rules for all four of them , no one should accept this BS ideology that you are incomplete as an adult if you haven't done it (same old tired lines). I don't want my boys to be hypocrites like the amritdhari boys I knew as a kid who were going out with white and black girls to use and drop, but at the same time I'm not an 1d1ot there is massive peer pressure from non-sikh and surprisingly sikh quarters.

So the rules is see how the person is as a human even before you make any kind of move . So far it's saved the twins once each because they fell for girls who turned out to be players and it ultimately turned them off emotionally because of their superficial natures . They are now concentrating on their own lives and sikhi ; love can happen later.

They also have noted how crass their mates are towards their girls and women in general and have said how they don't relate to them. The twins have intervened with a sikh girl at college who was getting physically hit by a guy who was supposedly a friend , getting her to see that she is not at fault and that she doesn't have to accept that behaviour.

Waheguru ji has done so much kirpa on us , just need some effort on my part to get through to the eldest and youngest. 

I hope your boys white knighting will be well appreciated by the girl otherwise they will realise that girl will go back to the abusive boyfriend.

I have known of plenty of boys at college back in the 1990's who used to protect their Sikh sisters from their abusive -ness of the muslim boyfriends only to get their heads kicked in and then find the Sikh girls go back to these boyfriends.