i want to pledge 40 days sukhmani sahib but not able to bring myself to it

[Guest]

I like sukhmani sahib. Its grand but also very lengthy. Whenever i try to do it, my mind wavers here and there, or else after a while i find myself just physically parroting baani but my mind is absent. 

I really personally want to do sukhmani sahib for 40 days but my tongue gets tired in just one sitting because baani is very lengthy. How can i enjoy the paath. 

 

[singhbj singh 1,404]

You can either view plus listen to Kirtan of Sukhmani Sahib

Or 

Recite Paath along with Sangat

 

[Kira 1,458]

try not to do these pledges, eventually it might become nothing more than a chore for you. Do Sukhmani Sahib as much as you want, however if you do want to pledge that (big step bro I do applaud you) best thing to do is have someone else making sure you stick to the routine. 

[MisterrSingh 8,521]

You can start by listening to a recording of it. Like I said, to go from nothing to doing it "all" overnight is setting yourself up for failure. 

[ssinghuk 189]

10 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

I like sukhmani sahib. Its grand but also very lengthy. Whenever i try to do it, my mind wavers here and there, or else after a while i find myself just physically parroting baani but my mind is absent. 

I really personally want to do sukhmani sahib for 40 days but my tongue gets tired in just one sitting because baani is very lengthy. How can i enjoy the paath. 

 

Thats great!

Commitment is a value needed for achieving! The outcome is in SatGuru's hand. 

Dhan Bhai Gurdaas Jee has said one step taken from the Sikh towards the Guru, and the Guru comes a hundred thousand steps closer to the Sikh.

[Guest]

My issue is that I start with enthusiasm but just after a few ashtapadis , mind is already somewhere else , in memories of past or anxieties of future.

If I recite within my mind, it gives more anand as in understanding and relaxation but soon my eyes get heavy and body becomes slumber.

If I recite physically, my tongue gets tired or I find myself reciting too quickly.

I have gone maximum 3-4 days of paath and then the cycle breaks . Its saddening but I try to do it each time and keep falling. 

Keeping up with 40 days is tough I must say ! 

I love sukhmani sahib when at times we're given emotionally stirring descriptions of god's power :

"Haran bharan ja ka netr for" (He gives and takes back within blink of an eye)

and my favorite 

"Jaa ki leela ki mit nahi. Sagal dev haare avgaahe" (That whose plays knows no bound, even gods have grown weary searching for him). 

Such pangtis provoke a very grand yet loving image of god in our hearts.

 

And at times pangtis like 

"Bhagat janaa ke praan adhaar" (the basis of the life force of his devotees).

And ofcourse the ashtapadi 21 of nirgun brahm.

 

I think its these dare I say favorite stanzas that keep running in my head all the time lol. Maybe someday I will complete 40 days of my paath soon.

You know it hurts the most when you are looking at the number of ashtapadis remaining and how close you got to 24. Its like a slap on your face because you feel like you're just parroting . I want to reach that stage when I am reciting sukhmani sahib and I don't know how when it got completed also 

[Guest]

18 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

You can start by listening to a recording of it. Like I said, to go from nothing to doing it "all" overnight is setting yourself up for failure. 

I can understand what you're saying. But when you wasted so much time in your life, then you feel like you don't want to waste even a minute in "preparing yourself". 

[MisterrSingh 8,521]

1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

I can understand what you're saying. But when you wasted so much time in your life, then you feel like you don't want to waste even a minute in "preparing yourself". 

That's great to hear. Speaking from experience, start with something you know you'll be able to sustain. As others have mentioned the last thing you want is for your daily nitnem to become a chore or an obligation. Feel every word and believe. Don't rattle through the bani with one eye on the clock. The voice inside will tell you when it's ready to move up to the next level.

Also, if I may ask, what are you hoping for? Peace of mind? Inner strength? Or something specific?

[Guest]

2 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

That's great to hear. Speaking from experience, start with something you know you'll be able to sustain. As others have mentioned the last thing you want is for your daily nitnem to become a chore or an obligation. Feel every word and believe. Don't rattle through the bani with one eye on the clock. The voice inside will tell you when it's ready to move up to the next level.

Also, if I may ask, what are you hoping for? Peace of mind? Inner strength? Or something specific?

Peace of mind. Inner strength. 

Ability to deal with what life has thrown at me and above all, the hope that he will intervene in my life when i need him most.

Saakhi of bibi rajni inspire me though some say its a myth. That level of faith would be a gift in itself. And of prahlaad, namdev, draupadi, abraham, countless such examples where reality was odds stacked against them but because of their sheer faith, lord god intervened and saved them. I didn't used to believe in miracles until one happened to me. Before that i used to be agnostic. 

I am reminded of that shabad "tu bhagta ke vass, bhagta taan tera" (you o lord are only under the command of your devotees, your devotees are your strength). Remember the language in this shabad is more of love than facts. God is not dependent on anyone, not even his bhagts, but its a relationship of pure love between god & devotee, guru & sikh. 

One of the most beautiful name of god is bhagat-vachhal (protector of his devotees). 

I live by faith because reality is way too scary for me. I cannot believe that he will not help me. 

[jkvlondon 6,889]

4 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

My issue is that I start with enthusiasm but just after a few ashtapadis , mind is already somewhere else , in memories of past or anxieties of future.

If I recite within my mind, it gives more anand as in understanding and relaxation but soon my eyes get heavy and body becomes slumber.

If I recite physically, my tongue gets tired or I find myself reciting too quickly.

I have gone maximum 3-4 days of paath and then the cycle breaks . Its saddening but I try to do it each time and keep falling. 

Keeping up with 40 days is tough I must say ! 

I love sukhmani sahib when at times we're given emotionally stirring descriptions of god's power :

"Haran bharan ja ka netr for" (He gives and takes back within blink of an eye)

and my favorite 

"Jaa ki leela ki mit nahi. Sagal dev haare avgaahe" (That whose plays knows no bound, even gods have grown weary searching for him). 

Such pangtis provoke a very grand yet loving image of god in our hearts.

 

And at times pangtis like 

"Bhagat janaa ke praan adhaar" (the basis of the life force of his devotees).

And ofcourse the ashtapadi 21 of nirgun brahm.

 

I think its these dare I say favorite stanzas that keep running in my head all the time lol. Maybe someday I will complete 40 days of my paath soon.

You know it hurts the most when you are looking at the number of ashtapadis remaining and how close you got to 24. Its like a slap on your face because you feel like you're just parroting . I want to reach that stage when I am reciting sukhmani sahib and I don't know how when it got completed also 

you need to think on the arth of what you are saying as you going , try watching or reading for a gutka with arth(meanings) this will help to keep you focussed , also concentrating on shudh ucharran of the bits you are familiar with will stop you going into autopilot. This is how I started as a kid because I was learning what Guru ji was saying my curiousity kept me at it and it still helps now when I feel the glaze coming on , or I pause by doing nam jap and rejoin the bani mentally . Don't focus on how far but what has been said . Stay in Chardikala Bro and start with an Ardas for the blessing of gian and shudh ucharran it helps . Like MisterSingh veer ji said zero to full on is hard to do . You can do a sukhmani sahib in parts in the day if it feels too big in one sitting and slowly build up from there

[MisterrSingh 8,521]

1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Peace of mind. Inner strength. 

Ability to deal with what life has thrown at me...

Good. I was in such an incredibly similar place to you (sexuality / identity issues notwithstanding) that my final refuge was at the very place I should've turned to at the beginning of it all. It will be difficult at first; focusing on maintaining discipline and cultivating a routine that doesn't slip into blind ritual will seem like an effort, but if you keep at it you will eventually find a certain feeling of serenity. But don't expect the world and demand overnight results. It took me a long time to notice any changes, although in some ways there was a "change" almost immediately. I suppose what took time was those tiny incremental improvements to merge into something substantial that was noticeable to me with the naked eye (or mind).

Just because you have certain leanings, that doesn't mean you can't be a strong and disciplined individual.

Quote

I live by faith because reality is way too scary for me. I cannot believe that he will not help me. 

Yet when you'll begin to receive the fruits of your efforts, reality will become manageable. In fact, you will not shy away from reality because you'll have the tools required to face it head on.

See if you can incorporate at least one Chaupai Sahib into your meditation. Trust me on that one.

[Guest]

If you can read one more paragraph . Sorry ! I am trying to pour my heart and hoping perhaps someone could help 

My life is anything but rose tainted glasses. 

Right now it seems like I am beginning to suffer from what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance". That happens when you tend to hold two conflicting beliefs , or when all options seem feasible but none of them really appeal to you . 

For instance, in case to my sexuality , and my parents constantly pressuring me to marry . 

I find myself at crossroads where life forces me to pick a path but there's no returning from it once I choose it .

1) Find a like-minded woman (maybe a divorcee, maybe someone disfigured, or just a lesbian woman) who knows about me and wants to live a white-picket fence life like me and we can marry and raise a kid . Here kicks in cognitive dissonance : How can I even sensibly marry a woman and be happy to whom I am not attracted to and I don't love. I would be living in a world of "happy couples" and me and her, what kind of marriage would it be . And of a lifetime !

2) Devote life to guru sahib . Apart from sharda, have nothing here . Everything rests on hope and mercy of god in this option. cognitive dissonance: Sexual celibacy is very hard and it gives a sinking feeling in heart to know that you will never be able to have a normal life. Trust me, it feels really really horrible. 

3) Just live a normal life of a gay man : Work, party, have fun (including sex). cognitive dissonance : I fear judgement from god for my acting out uninhibitedly on my sexuality. Adultery is considered a very great sin and ofcourse its so damaging to one's spiritual progress. Guru in his baani says : "For one moment of pleasure, he suffers many many days of suffering". There goes my idea of enjoying life remotely . BTW, I am not a sexual person. but even if I were to live life of a normal gay man, it seems god doesn't approve.

 

I often think it like this : "I don't know which bad karams I did to be born as a homosexual. I can't afford to do more and push myself into the muck of karmic world deeper. When i want to die, I would rather go with heaps of good karams, so that at some point in future (next lives), I can live a normal life like everyone else and attain jivanmukti"  

 

But of all the 3 options and other few, I can't seem to pick anyone. 

Its a horrible feeling and I can't help but die every moment in this constant tug of war in my mind. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

See if you can incorporate at least one Chaupai Sahib into your meditation. Trust me on that one.

Yes, I will uncle ji ! 

[Kira 1,458]

12 hours ago, Preeet said:

That's crazy talk. We all pledged to do nitnem sahib, & that certainly is NOT  chore for us. To the poster above: Please do take part in this life changing chalis sri sukhmani sahib ji paaht, no matter whoever discourages you from gurbani.

Please excuse me oh great Preeto, I didn't mean to speak from down low to your high pedestal. That's what I was prescribed, from a Gursikh who told me if you start treating Gurbani like a chore, it becomes a chore and I'll take his word ta. OP has already said his tongue gets tired, his mind falters and he's struggling, but you jumped in to attack me rather than providing any proper insight to help him.

 

To OP.  Just do as many Sukhmani sahibs as possible, if you falters and breaks his pledge it'll come back to you, stick to the safe side and do what you can to your hearts content. Eventually it'll all fall into place and you'll do fine. As said by the various users, work up bro. going from zero-100 isn't going to do you any favours. 

[Kira 1,458]

16 minutes ago, Preeet said:

That is no Gursikh who told you that. Im sure there are people who have been blessed with Sri Amrit and are new to doing nitnem sahib ji, so it would be pakhandi to say to not do them if they seem like a chore to a person (because they are not a chore) who is new to it. 

Yes because you with your Devta Poojas and Sant Nindya are the ideal Gursikh? The person happens to be a taksali, he's spent months learning under scholars and gursikhs, what are your credentials? learning from yourself?  please read what I said properly. OP has already stated he struggles to do 1 whole one in a sitting, so like a person with a brain I suggest he shouldn't take the pledge and do as many as he can. Newly amritdhari people, who are illiterate listen to the Paath, that's an entirely different direction and an extremely special exception, so please don't even go down there. What exactly is your problem?