Jump to content

Should Sikh parents make their children keep their Kesh until they are 18?


Guest UsagKiwan
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest UsagKiwan

I was watching this video by BasicsofSikhi where Jagraj Singh was arguing that Sikh parents should make their children keep their Kesh until they reach the age of majority, then  they should be allowed whether to keep their kesh or not. 

My question is.........What about in cases where Mona parents suddenly decided to become Amritdhari and their underage children who (despite being minors) are still preteens or adolescents who still choose to cut their hair. Should these ex-Mona but now Amritdhari parents follow the late Jagraj Singh's advice in the video and make their mona children grow their Kesh despite the resistance they might face?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This actually happens alot. One family was totally mona. Kids did make up and cut hair. Parents got into sikhi thru bulandpuri. Wanted to get there kids into sikhi too. Kids not interested. So the parents took them to diwaans. Asked bulandpuri babaji to convince them. The kids kept attending diwans. Learned alot. But still kept being mone. Dont blame them, its hard to go strict. Parents kept taking them to diwaans. Babji also talked to them alot. Luckily he speaks english. And would do a kids diwaan every wednesday. Where he did katha on spirituality in english and allowed the kids to ask questions.

So basically, parents dont force their kids. But they do try to convince them. Parents put effort into teaching them abt sikhi, send them to all the camps, take them to babas, have spiritual ppl come to their house and talk to their kids. Ask mahapurkhs to do ardaas for their kids. They themselves do ardaas for their kids. And voila. Results happen. 

I would say, changing the kids sangat has the greatest impact. 

Interestingly, a spouse who wants to take amrit applies the same techniques to convince the spouse who doesnt. Look up personal stories. Back to Sikhi or Game of Love on instagram has quite a few of those stories. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Babji also talked to them alot. Luckily he speaks english.

Which Babaji is this, by the way? And what kind of English do they speak? Indian-style? And how good and fluent?

I agree that if your kids are already monas, then they should not be forced to keep hair. They should be given sangat and exposed to discussion on why Guru Sahib said to keep hair, and why we should follow Guru ji.

This is different from the case of Amritdhari parents who give birth to children. There is no reason that Amritdhari parents should cut their kids' hair. As far as the kids having the "right" to do what they want in their life, they can get that right when they are paying for their existence (age 18, say).

There is no reason to accept the world's thinking that cutting hair is the default, and it's only the weirdos that keep their hair. In fact, hair is the default. The people that cut their hair are the weirdos, who are be-iman and disfigure their God-given form, according to Guru Nanak ji.

One caveat though: Even though I think previously mona kids shouldn't be forced to keep their hair, I do think that they should be "forced" to recite Japji, or Nitnem, sing shabads, do sehaj paath, etc, as the parents think appropriate for their age levels. While I sympathize with the kids thinking that they will have a jolt to their school social life if they keep hair, their school friends do not know or care that that they did Japji in the morning.

When I say "forced", I don't mean with a salotar. I just mean it in the same way that parents "force" their kids to stop watching TV, and do their homework. "Force" them to do chores. "Force" them to read books (non-Sikh) to expand their knowledge or vocabulary. "Force" them to do sports. "Force" them to meet aunts and uncles and cousins. Etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, BhForce said:

Which Babaji is this, by the way? And what kind of English do they speak? Indian-style? And how good and fluent?

I dont know his name. He goes by bulandpuri babaji. Hes really big in canada and getting famous in usa. His english isnt bad. And the accent, quite slight, just makes him sound more mystical and spiritual. Im sure hes on youtube. 

I dont know much about him. But my favorite kathavachak, bhai sahib singh ji canada wale, follows him so he must be good person. ????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

basically your kids are not YOURS , they are a sewa , your duty as a parent is to keep them intact so they have no obstacles to becoming gursikhs when ready and show them the world through sikhi's lens . You have no rights to take a kid's kesh away , that is a paap . Whether you choose to be a mona you still have no rights to do it .

Those who have done it have made it plain to the world that they OWN their kids , so if they get on Naam Jahaaz and have amrit and are now stuck with mayadhari mone for kids , they are only getting the reward of their karams .

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Those who have done it have made it plain to the world that they OWN their kids , so if they get on Naam Jahaaz and have amrit and are now stuck with mayadhari mone for kids , they are only getting the reward of their karams .

Very good way to put it.

Parents of mona kids who later take amrit should stay in a remorseful state that they were only able to awake to amrit so late in life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, BhForce said:

Very good way to put it.

Parents of mona kids who later take amrit should stay in a remorseful state that they were only able to awake to amrit so late in life.

ideally they should wait for their kids and learn with them before taking amrit, not after the fact like the example that was given . Like a good Marine no sikh should leave a sikh behind enemy lines.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

ideally they should wait for their kids and learn with them before taking amrit, not after the fact like the example that was given .

Good suggestion. Now that I think about it, during the time previous to taking amrit, where were the kids? Normally kids are with parents no matter where they are (relative's house, theater, shopping mall, etc.). So why would they not be with the parents during sangat (wherever that is, Gurdwara, house sangat, Youtube, CDs, books, whatever)?

If you keep kids with you in sangat prior to taking amrit, there's a good chance they will be convinced to take amrit at the same time as you.

14 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Like a good Marine no sikh should leave a sikh behind enemy lines.

:clap:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • If relationship with Guru is strong, then kanga is done twice a day, and turban should never be taken off or put on like a hat, there is a lot wrong with that as it is against rehit! maryada is to take off every layer of turban/pagh/dumalla individually, and tie fresh turban each time!
    • the whole 'your husband/wife is chosen for you'/sanjog thing is real, it's just that a lot of people end up marrying the wrong person. they did not end up with the person that was meant for them. my friend, you should marry someone who you feel a connection with and love. there are millions of sikh girls, i'm sure you can find someone who aligns with your sensibilities and who you can truthfully say that you love. sikhi does not say anything against love marriages. you can also be in a loveless arranged marriage which is a safe option b/c both families are more inclined to keep the union intact. i was one of those people who was like meh, i guess i'll just get arranged to some sikh. well i finally started dating for the first time this year and i'm getting married to someone that i love and cannot even imagine leaving. i think it's better to have lost & lost than never loved at all. unfortunately, a lot of people confuse love w/ looks & lust. a lot of men go for the fittest girl they can find and think they won the jackpot or something. in reality, your partner should be like an extremely loved best friend. there's a reason why it's a fact that the most stable and long-lasting relationships started as friendships.  i also think a lot of women are petty and divorce over small reasons, but there's other terrible things like high cheating rates as well. that's why the divorce rate in the west is high. be careful out there.
    • andrew tate praises sikhi too & likes sikhs. his brother also donated to sikh families iirc. they just like any "alpha" religion and tbh islam is the most "alpha" in their eyes. islam is very good at promoting that image. but imo a real alpha man doesn't command respect by beating up his wive(s) or forcing them to wear a burqa. a real man will have his woman listen to him w/o raising a hand or his voice, and command respect by being respectful. he leads by example and integrity. that's true masculinity. you get the idea. + yes, it's definitely true that islam is growing rapidly and making massive inroads. strength in numbers + belief will do that. but rlly it's just because of the birth rate. a lot of them are muslim b/c it's their "identity" just like how a lot of young sikhs will say they're "culturally sikh" or whatever. there just aren't billions of sikhs who lambast their identity everywhere and have strict and linear rules like in islam. besides, the reality is that islam and its followers are some of the most morally bankrupt. you can see all the weird trans rules in iran, bacche baazi in afghanistan, visiting brothels, watching p*rn, p*dophilia what goes on behind the scenes in countries like uae & qatar, etc, and come to your conclusions. you can google all the stats yourself and see which countries do the most of these ^.   
    • stop associating with hinduism, that's the absolutely worst thing you can do as a sikh. not sure if you noticed but the entire world looks down upon and spits at india & hindus, literally no one respects them and considers them weak and cowardly. literally 1+ billion of them but not perceived as a strong religion commandeering respect. 
    • you wrote a whole lot but told us nothing. what exactly did you do wrong to make you feel this way?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use